New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Helmut Shown]

A man from Meuselbach-Schwarzmühle Kept a lot of stale food in his cooler When he went for a shit Twelve inches every bit And he checked it out with a ruler Whilst out in the African veldt He noticed his bell end smelt

[Saul Bollox]

"Whilst helping a king clean his moat, I noticed he had a new goat. It looked kind of sweet From it's head to it's feet But he killed it to make a new coat. A man from Meuselbach-Schwarzmühle Kept a lot of stale food in his cooler"

[Joke Whole]

"A man from Champigny-sur-Marne. Once took a young horse to a barn. He ripped off his kecks For equine style sex... ...he didn't. I made up this yarn. Whilst helping a king clean his moat, I noticed he had a new goat."

[Saul Bollox]

A candidate for UKIP Let an off colour comment slip The party's a front For all manner of cսnt. It's Farage's fast sinking ship. A man from Champigny-sur-Marne. Once took a young horse to a barn.

[Helmut Shown]

Another six inches of snow I can't wait for this winter to go But what cheered me up The y**ds lost in the cup To Levy that must be a blow A candidate for UKIP Let an off colour comment slip

[Helmut Shown]

Cosmo smallpiece 3:23 Mon Mar 2 Re: New Limerick Thread Cosmo at long last a bit of culture on here

[cosmo smallpiece]

"Last Friday I caused quite a fuss, I shit myself farting on a bus. Squeezed a zit at the conductor Bent her over and fucked her And left trails of shit,spunk and pus Another six inches of snow I can't wait for this winter to go."

[Saul Bollox]

"I like a good fumble around In the dark and dense underground In root systems one finds Insects of many kinds, Ants, beetles and earwigs abound. Last Friday I caused quite a fuss, I shit myself farting on a bus."

[Saul Bollox]

Joke Whole 6:28 Sun Mar 1

[strong dreams]

I got myself a new flat But my new neighbours a bit of a prat He stands at his door With his pants on the floor His names Sam and he's northern and fat I like a good fumble around In the dark and dense underground

[strong dreams]

I got myself a new flat But my new neighbours a bit of a prat He stands at his door With his pants on the floor His names Sam and he's northern and fat I like a good fumble around In the dark and dense underground

[Joke Whole]

"i don't know of anything finer, Than a neatly trimmed hairy vagina. And I never did go for A Brylcreemed comb-over That's mainly because I'm a big whiner. I've just got myself a new flat But my neighbour's a bit of a prat"

[Joke Whole]

"Monk~koknee 3:06 Fri Feb 27 Now, THAT is a limerick. Top darts, my man."

[Saul Bollox]

"They plunder our players once again Those shitcunts from White Hart Lane One can never excuse These foul four be twos I want to shout something profane i don't know of anything finer, Than a neatly trimmed hairy vagina."

[Helmut Shown]

"For the big teams we raise our game, Against shit teams it's always the same Crystal Palace, Sheff United Go home delighted With Allardyce deflecting the blame They plunder our players once again Those shitcunts from White Hart Lane"

[Saul Bollox]

"The Walrus lays back in his chair It seems that he just doesn't care He'll end his contract He will not get sacked But if they renew I'll despair. For the big teams we raise our game, Against shit teams it's always the same"

[Helmut Shown]

"There once was a West London lad, Who went off to fight the jihad The shit he was fed Made him cut off a head But they say he wasn't all bad The Walrus lays back in his chair It seems that he just doesn't care"

[Saul Bollox]

"Whilst venturing south of the river It was bleak and I started to shiver, I did not feel right So I went for a bite Egg, bacon, chips and some liver. There once was a West London lad, Who went off to fight the jihad."

[Monk~koknee]

Whilst laying back during oral sex She farted and splattered his specs Then a build up of gas Ignited alas And that's all that he now recollects Whilst venturing south of the river It was bleak and I started to shiver

[Helmut Shown]

"In a harem close to Tetouan, A wife thought of a cunning plan She'd blindfold the sheikh And then take a break While her master fucked her old gran Whilst laying back during oral sex She farted and splattered his specs"

[joe blob]

"A new bride from near Marrakech Had a chastity belt made out of mesh, But she cut a big hole For a bloke on the dole, So his knob could connect with her flesh. In a harem close to Tetouan, A wife thought of a cunning plan"

[wanstead_hammer]

"A tongue twisting tailor from Tring Tried threading the tiniest thing Ties, trousers and tapes To the tailor they'd trape To try/test the tailoring things. A new bride from near Marrakech Had a chastity belt made out of mesh"

[Monk~koknee]

"A slapper who lived down in Looe Was known for a special tattoo On her ample behind The reader could find The Adventures of Flashman, Book 2 A tongue twisting tailor from Tring Tried threading the tiniest thing"

[Joke Whole]

"A young man from near Bethnal Green In the massage and sauna was seen. But the charge on the door Did not include whore So, on coming back he didn't seem keen. A slapper who lived down in Looe Was known for a special tattoo"

[Saul Bollox]

"That Tottenham bloke Harry Kane Is there something wrong with his brain? When they sang the song, That he looks like a mong It's offensive to mongs it's quite plain. A young man from near Bethnal Green In the massage and sauna was seen."