New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Saul Bollox]

"A farmer, from Somerset way Was trying to harvest some hay when he saw something rude, Two girls in the nude, Having sex in the full light of day. Whilst walking along down the front, I saw and incredible stunt"

[Saul Bollox]

"An horny old spinster from Leigh Liked a spit roast each Sunday at three A builder called Zack. Went in from the back. From the front? Crossroads' Shughie McPhee. Whilst walking along down the front, I saw and incredible stunt"

[Joke Whole]

"An horny old spinster from Leigh Liked a spit roast each Sunday at three Going long on the pork Would make the bird squawk And then they all sat down for some tea A farmer, from Somerset way Was trying to harvest some hay"

[wanstead_hammer]

Against top teams we have bad luck Against shit teams we don't give a fuck The man in the middle Always seems on the fiddle And the Walrus just passes the buck An horny old spinster from Leigh Liked a spit roast each Sunday at three

[Saul Bollox]

Terry was on a packed train Drogba tried boarding in vain Terry was irate But did not help his mate Because he is a massive wank stain. Against top teams we have bad luck Against shit teams we don't give a fuck

[Far East Hammer]

"Here I sit, broken hearted, Paid a penny and only farted Had thought it a crap Oh what a bum rap! And last night's whore? Don't get me started! Terry was on a packed train Drogba tried boarding in vain"

[the thunderer]

"Whilst searching his pockets for change, The old man felt something quite strange. A knife he now saw in his paw After his balls he did re-arrange And said, that's why Mike Oxsaw. Here I sit, broken hearted, Paid a penny and only farted"

[Joke Whole]

"There was a young lady from Bow caught short with nowhere to go. And so laid a cable Right under a table. It stank the place out, don't you know? Whilst searching his pockets for change, The old man felt something quite strange"

[Helmut Shown]

A central defender called Ginge Was licking an old lady's minge It smelt like a dish of old rotting fish that made the poor lad cringe There was a young lady from Bow caught short with nowhere to go

[Helmut Shown]

"Sorry should have read ""whiffy"" fuck autocorrect"

[Saul Bollox]

"Whiny? He pondered his tax amount So opened a Swiss bank account This political prick, Now goes off to Zurich A corrupt bloke problems can surmount. A central defender called Ginge Was licking an old lady's minge"

[Helmut Shown]

"A Priest on the banks of the Liffy, Was stroking a large, throbbing stiffy. He sat there alone Hand on his bone As the choirboys found it too whiny He pondered his tax amount So opened a Swiss bank account"

[Saul Bollox]

"There was a brash lad from Australia But in the sack was a failure On his bed he'd be sat, When the girls left his flat. Saying: ""Please don't call me, I'll mail ya"". A Priest on the banks of the Liffy, Was stroking a large, throbbing stiffy."

[Helmut Shown]

"I've opened this bottle of wine, The smell of it tells me it's fine. I can't go wrong It was bought for a song At Lidl's - the end of a line There was a brash lad from Australia But in the sack was a failure"

[Helmut Shown]

"I've opened this bottle of wine, The smell of it tells me it's fine. I can't go wrong It was bought for a song At Lidl's - the end of a line There was a brash lad from Australia But in the sack was a failure"

[Joke Whole]

"A young man from by Bodmin Moor, Liked entering through the back door. And once up her crack He emptied his sac And then he came back for some more I've opened this bottle of wine, The smell of it tells me it's fine."

[Saul Bollox]

"A moronic young cabbie from Cheam Devised an ingenious scheme The nub of this caper Was knocked off plain paper, Which he flogged at just £1 a ream. A young man from by Bodmin Moor, Liked entering through the back door."

[Saul Bollox]

"A moronic young cabbie from Cheam Devised an ingenious scheme The nub of this caper Was knocked off plain paper, Which he flogged at just £1 a ream. A young man from by Bodmin Moor, Liked entering through the back door."

[Monk~koknee]

While handing a hooker her cash She told me she has a big rash To cleanse my erection I used disinfection Plus a thorough spring cleaning with Flash A moronic young cabbie from Cheam Devised an ingenious scheme

[Joke Whole]

"To a brothel in the High Street, Crewe Went a cath'lic, a Muslim, and a Jew. Their chosen selection To ease that erection: A choir boy, a goat and to sue. While handing a hooker her cash She told me she has a big rash"

[joe blob]

"An African Chieftan from Chad Had inherited cash from his dad He used it to pay, To come to the UK, Where he lives off the state, what a cad. To a brothel in the High Street, Crewe Went a cath'lic, a Muslim, and a Jew."

[Monk~koknee]

In a sauna one of her jobs Was sucking the customers knobs She would take out her teeth Lay down underneath And fellate for a couple of bobs An African Chieftan from Chad Had inherited cash from his dad

[Saul Bollox]

There was a young man called Jake Exposed his large trouser snake. It was one of those winkles Brown with loads of wrinkles it looked like a Cadbury's Flake. In a sauna one of her jobs Was sucking the customers knobs

[Helmut Shown]

"A girl on an Indian bus Was told not to make such a fuss ""Why be so formal Rape in India is normal In that country it was ever thus"" There was a young man called Jake Exposed his large trouser snake"

[Joke Whole]

Whilst out in the African veldt He noticed his bell end smelt Of hog and hyena So he called for his cleaner Who buffed it up nice with some felt A girl on an Indian bus Was told not to make such a fuss