New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[cosmo smallpiece]

The thing that makes many men cringe? Uncoiffed hair upon a young ladies minge. But i find it a hoot When a pussy's hirsuit And i'm even quite partial to ginge How long will our waiting go on? Will he go? will he stay? has he gone?

[joe blob]

"There was a young Scotsman called Jock Ashamed by the size of his cock, For an agrandissment, Many countries he went, 'Til 'twas done in the Soviet bloc. The thing that makes many men cringe? Uncoiffed hair upon a young ladies minge."

[Joke Whole]

"There was a once a lady called Joan Learning German with Rosetta Stone But the silly old tart Didn't know where to start, So she gave up and left it alone There was a young Scotsman called Jock Ashamed by the size of his cock"

[joe blob]

A lady from old Canning Town When with any bloke would go down A suck of the knob For only ten bob The full works for just half a crown. There was a once a lady called Joan Learning German with Rosetta Stone

[Helmut Shown]

"There once was a lady from Bow Enjoyed displaying camel toe But the tightness of her gusset Caused a big stripe of russet And a large wet patch, don't you know A lady from old Canning Town When with any bloke would go down"

[Helmut Shown]

"There once was a lady from Bow Enjoyed displaying camel toe But the tightness of her gusset Caused a big stripe of russet And a large wet patch, don't you know A lady from old Canning Town When with any bloke would go down"

[Far East Hammer]

"There was a young man from East Ham Not a fan, I'm afraid, of fat Sam Called him a fool For his hoofball And of Nolan couldn't give a damn There once was a lady from Bow Enjoyed displaying camel toe"

[Helmut Shown]

"So what with warm weather training We still received a right caning The fat northern oaf Just don't use his loaf I'm afraid as a manager he's feigning There was a young man from East Ham Not a fan, I'm afraid, of fat Sam"

[Joke Whole]

"My biggest lifelong hope An apology from the Pope Don't bother to pray The only sure way Is to creep up and give him a grope. The clock on my wall's running slow. Why it should do, I don't know."

[Far East Hammer]

My biggest lifelong hope An apology from the Pope Las Malvinas? Come on! My arse! Please don't be an Argie dope! So what with warm weather training We still received a right caning

[joe blob]

I went for the walk in the park And didn't come home until dark Between two Police And was covered in fleece I was shagging some sheep for a lark. My biggest lifelong hope An apology from the Pope

[Joke Whole]

So Cameron or Milliband it will be I'd rather piss on them both with my wee The fewer who vote Means electing a goat You won't get no wise words from me. I went for the walk in the park And didn't come home until dark

[Joke Whole]

Oops - sorry! Dial-up speeds on my internet again.

[Joke Whole]

The prisoner declared to the judge Those dabs are nowt but a smudge M'lud gave a wry smile For All through the trial The convict was packing his fudge. The moon it is full and is bright I fancy some romance tonight

[cup of tea]

A young man from Islamabad Walked down the High Road unclad Wearing all but a Burka His willy he would jerk'er and splash his load over Paul Gadd So Cameron or Milliband it will be I'd rather piss on them both with my wee

[joe blob]

"The prisoner declared to the judge Those dabs are nowt but a smudge The judge, with a frown, Said ""I'm sending you down, For stealing six cartons of fudge"". A young man from Islamabad Walked down the High Road unclad"

[Monk~koknee]

"There was an eastender called Del, Who thought that his farts didn't smell Some critics avowed Although they were loud Their essence was sweet muscatel The prisoner declared to the judge Those dabs are nowt but a smudge"

[Saul Bollox]

"An MP went out at first light Looking for a lady of the night He met one called Kat', Took her back to his flat And from her arse, fucked all the shite. There was an eastender called Del, Who thought that his farts didn't smell"

[Helmut Shown]

The fat bloke stood up and declared My job is to make you all scared One foot out of place And he'd sit on your face And worst case he'd do it bum bared An MP went out at first light Looking for a lady of the night

[Fluke]

So he ate them

[Monk~koknee]

A buxom young maiden was seen Stark naked on a trampoline Her tits a disgrace Were all over the place Yet her pussy remained quite pristine The fat bloke stood up and declared My job is to make you all scared

[Far East Hammer]

"A poster, who's name I'll not say Has finally called it a day I've read this before And I guess once more With a new name he'll again play A buxom young maiden was seen Stark naked on a trampoline"

[Joke Whole]

"There once was a bouncer called Dwane Not known for abundance of brain When the sun, it came out, He was never about, But he'd go for a walk in the rain. A poster, who's name I'll not say Has finally called it a day"

[Monk~koknee]

"There once was a geezer called Pete, Who had the most malodorous feet He washed then in wine And now they smell fine At least that's what it said on his Tweet There once was a bouncer called Dwane Not known for abundance of brain"

[Saul Bollox]

"A mild mannered librarian Brian Had a shirt that was distinctly Hawaiin Which he got,as you do, On a trip to Oahu, From King Kamehameha's scion. There once was a geezer called Pete, Who had the most malodorous feet"