New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Joke Whole]

Fat Sam Fat Sam Fat Sams Fat Fatter than my fucking fat cat His favourite dish? Baked head of fish: A mackerel or a sprat. There once was a man from Dudley Who'd not let the football flow free

[cosmo smallpiece]

All the political threads on WHO Seldom come up with anything new In sure we could handle A rattling good scandal So let's expose someone....but who? Another pathetic squad From Hodgson the dopey old sod

[BRANDED]

"All the political threads on WHO Seldom come up with anything new just cunts typing shit like me and some prick writing piffle, bile and spew Fat Sam Fat Sam Fat Sams Fat Fatter than my fucking fat cat"

[Saul Bollox]

"I've just had a dose of the squirts My anus it throbs and it hurts And now once again Pebble dashed porcelaine, A Champagne cork with massive spurts . All the political threads on WHO Seldom come up with anything new"

[Helmut Shown]

"Wanking, watching porn on DVD Until his mum walked In with a tea Imagine her shock At seeing the cock She last saw when he was just three I've just had a dose of the squirts My anus it throbs and it hurts"

[Saul Bollox]

"Wanking, watching porn on DVD Until his mum walked in with a tea She got a big shock, At the size of his cock Erect it measured one foot three. All the political threads on WHO Seldom come up with anything new"

[Far East Hammer]

"Mum found underneath her son's bed Some magazines, not yet been read. Still in plastic jackets All full of nude crumpets I believe that that's enough said Wanking, watching porn on DVD Until his mum walked in with a tea"

[Joke Whole]

"A young lady from Kilmarnock Thought it time to taste her bloke's cock. 'twas more cheese than pork With the texture of cork Which gave her a bit of a shock. Mum found underneath her son's bed Some magazines, not yet been read."

[Far East Hammer]

"A cantankerous chap from East Fife Made a ungentlemanly sign to his wife She replied ""Och Oi you!"" ""Go fuck yoursel' too"" To commence a whole load of strife A young lady from Kilmarnock Thought it time to taste her bloke's cock"

[Far East Hammer]

"A cantankerous chap from East Fife Made a ungentlemanly sign to his wife She replied ""Och Oi you!"" ""Go fuck yoursel' too"" To commence a whole load of strife A young lady from Kilmarnock Thought it time to taste her bloke's cock"

[Monk~koknee]

My chickens have come into season But the cock has gone off for some reason He sloped off to the barn Where he read the koran So I cut off his head for high treason A cantankerous chap from East Fife Made a ungentlemanly sign to his wife

[Joke Whole]

Lord Nelson was known to be fond Of a dip in Ms Hamilton's pond When she smelt like a dyke He got on his bike And rode off to the back of beyond My chickens have come into season But the cock has gone off for some reason

[cosmo smallpiece]

"That Napoleon Bonaparte Once let off a rather wet fart In Josephine's bed Then he covered her head And said ""'Ave some o' that you tart!"" Lord Nelson was known to be fond Of a dip in Ms Hamilton's pond"

[Saul Bollox]

On the tube he thought he would reach at a bottom shaped just like a peach After his first touch He fondled her crutch Which was rather an etiquette breach. That Napoleon Bonaparte Once let off a rather wet fart

[Helmut Shown]

"A gust of wind blew up ""her"" frock, And revealed no drawers and a cock ""She'd"" have been in some trouble If it wasn't bent double ""She'd"" have to tuck it into her sock On the tube he thought he would reach at a bottom shaped just like a peach"

[Saul Bollox]

"From Sydney's pen the verses came And for his readers twas a shame This lad from down under Has made a big blunder I'll skip his post if it's all the same. A gust of wind blew up ""her"" frock, And revealed no drawers and a cock"

[Sydney_Iron]

From Sydney's pen the verses came And for his readers twas a shame Monkkoknee agreed and Coffee the same As they both buggered each with soap There was a once a man called Monkoknee Who covered himself in cream

[Coffee]

An enlightened young man from Bengal Never learned about life while at school But fishing he did much adore Cos he was Rabindra Tagore And oh so terribly cool. From Sydney's pen the verses came And for his readers twas a shame

[Monk~koknee]

"A dog was licking its balls inside a Tesco foodhall To the dog it did seem That the limerick scheme Was a mystery to Sydney, the fool An enlightened young man from Bengal Never learned about life while at school"

[Sydney_Iron]

The picture that hangs on my wall Is a bird who is wearing fuck-all. except for a Millwall tattoo which looks like a poo and the new Den is not much better too. A dog was licking its balls inside a Tesco foodhall

[Joke Whole]

"Last night I went to Tesco, It's not very often I go Their two-for-one tarts And own-branded farts Were the best of the bargains on show The picture that hangs on my wall Is a bird who is wearing fuck-all."

[joe blob]

"Don't do business with Levy the Jew It's something you'll learn to rue This Tottenham snide Aught to be brushed aside. Like shit that has stuck to your shoe. Last night I went to Tesco, It's not very often I go"

[Helmut Shown]

Farage had ordered a balti So the chef did something naughty With a healthy kerplunk he squirted some spunk He regarded this dish as his forte Don't do business with Levy the Jew It's something you'll learn to rue

[Far East Hammer]

Every day I will pray to my god For the days of an all English squad What kind of fillip? Just to please Ukip? No Frankie Mac or Tevez you sod! Farage had ordered a balti So the chef did something naughty

[Monk~koknee]

"How long will our waiting go on? Will he go? will he stay? has he gone? Is he out, is he in? Is he fat, is he thin? How we yearn for old Ron and young John Every day I will pray to my god For the days of an all English squad"