New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Saul Bollox]

"There's a brothel in Bexhill on Sea That admits over 80's for free The young ""ladies"" are, All trained in CPR. And they'll give you a nice cup of tea.. In a sauna a man got his wish When he entered the chocolate starfish"

[cosmo smallpiece]

A bargirl who came from Phuket Fired ping pong balls for a bet You should see them fly out Of that sumptuous clout It's a sight that you'll never forget There's a brothel in Bexhill on Sea That admits over 80's for free

[Helmut Shown]

Bargirl

[Helmut Shown]

There was a young lady from China Who picked up coins with her vagina She'd only orgasm With something large in her chasm Provided by a Geordie coal miner A batgirl who came from Phuket Fired ping pong balls for a bet

[Saul Bollox]

"Do you think it totally wrong For a pensioner to wear a thong? Or dirty old queens With earings and jeans And a kaftan, while smoking a bong. There was a young lady from China Who picked up coins with her vagina"

[Helmut Shown]

"A bloke had a miserable life, Just listening to his nagging wife His patience wore thin So he traded her in For a barmaid in the Kingdom of Fife Do you think it totally wrong For a pensioner to wear a thong?"

[Saul Bollox]

"I'm stuck here, no windows to lick. The boredom is making me sick. I don't go to church, Or do the wordsearch So I'll sit around scratching my prick. A bloke had a miserable life, Just listening to his nagging wife"

[Saul Bollox]

"I'm stuck here, no windows to lick. The boredom is making me sick. I don't go to church, Or do the wordsearch So I'll sit around scratching my prick. A bloke had a miserable life, Just listening to his nagging wife"

[Joke Whole]

"There once was a man from Harrow, In the market he sold from a barrow. We knew him as Reg, And his meat and two veg., Resembled some plums and a marrow. I'm stuck here, no windows to lick. The boredom is making me sick."

[Saul Bollox]

"You don't want to picture your mum Gargling on your father's cum, But some dirty tykes, List it among their likes It's quite a big turn on for some. There once was a man from Harrow, In the market he sold from a barrow."

[Far East Hammer]

An indian housewife called Meena Played away but her old man had seen 'er The word around town She loved to go down And few had given a blow job meaner You don't want to picture your mum Gargling on your father's cum

[Saul Bollox]

"And she once also appeared on stage Stark naked and confined to a cage Through the cage gaps, You could see her piss flaps, My hard on I could not assuage. An indian housewife called Meena Played away but her old man had seen 'er"

[Far East Hammer]

The TV star Samantha Janus Once appeared in Corialanus At the after party 'twas not arty-farty She took a few up her anus And she once also appeared on stage Stark naked and confined to a cage

[Saul Bollox]

"A man lost his job doing porn As he was unable to get the horn Things became iffy, When there was no stiffy. It just flopped there, looking forlorn. The TV star Samantha Janus Once appeared in Corialanus"

[Helmut Shown]

"There once was this demure Dublin lady, Who once off to Turkey did slope a bit shady In a burqa and a dress She's off to IS A raghead with a name like O'Grady? A man lost his job doing porn As he was unable to get the horn"

[Hammer and Pickle]

"In a sauna and massage in Tring The masseuse grabbed hold of his thing, Well imagine the ire, As as atop of his spire, Was a iPhone that started to ring There once was this demure Dublin lady, Who once off to Turkey did slope a bit shady."

[Saul Bollox]

"Dave, Nick and Ed seem to burgeon their mutual dislike of Spurgeon. They hate hearing her spout About Scotland's wild trout, And migratory Salmon and sturgeon. In a sauna and massage in Tring The masseuse grabbed hold of his thing."

[,]

"In a naturist camp in Kent A man sported a knob really bent his name was Leighton and his rod would not straighten since giving up sex for Lent Dave, Nick and Ed seem to burgeon their mutual dislike of Spurgeon."

[Saul Bollox]

Whilst sunbathing out in the garden I felt myself starting to harden When I thought of a brass Whom I'd shagged up the arse In a brothel quite near Baden Baden. In a naturist camp in Kent A man sported a knob really bent

[Hoss]

The royal family take some abuse As they're inbred and not too much use Would it really be treason In this age of reason To suggest that they’re finally cut loose Whilst sunbathing out in the garden I felt myself starting to harden

[Helmut Shown]

A Romanian gymnast called Pru Whose leotard was almost see-through When she did the splits You could view all her bits And what she'd for breakfast too The royal family take some abuse As they're inbred and not too much use

[Helmut Shown]

"There was a young lady called Dora, Who parted her labia minora The resultant display Like a large manta ray Verified by a deep sea explorer The royal family take some abuse They're inbred and not much use"

[Hoss]

"There was a young lady called Dora, Who parted her labia minora. She could pull them so wide You could climb up inside and actually start to explore her A Romanian gymnast called Pru Whose leotard was almost see-through"

[Saul Bollox]

"A young lady was plying her trade Along the beachfront esplanade, When an old drunken Jock, Pulled out his Brighton Rock, And gave her an obscene tirade. There was a young lady called Dora, Who parted her labia minora."

[Far East Hammer]

"Election day's coming up fast, Which means that we should see at last How parliament's hung And who'll take a bung As coalition votes are cast A young lady was plying her trade Along the beachfront esplanade"