New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Helmut Shown]

Oops A young Eritrean wench Spread her stick-like legs on a bench Her very strange pose Without any clothes Put off her suitors with the stench A rabbi from Stamford Hill Spending money made him feel ill

[Helmut Shown]

There once was an old Irish Priest. Whose bell end was covered in yeast With this infection And in circumspection He should wear a condom at least A rabbi from Stamford Hill Spending money made him feel ill

[easthambull]

"There once was an old Irish Priest. Whose bell end was covered in yeast. His balls? No better, were flecked with feta but still gave the alter boys a feast. A young Eritrean wench Spread her stick-like legs on a bench"

[Saul Bollox]

"After having some shots of weird liquors She stood on a stool, waved her knickers Spectators, and such Looked agape at her crutch, Not conduct one expects at the Vicar's. There once was an old Irish Priest. Whose bell end was covered in yeast."

[Helmut Shown]

"One morning when up with the larks I chanced upon the grave of Karl Marx A small assignation For mutual masturbation As we've been chased away from the parks After having some shots of weird liquors She stood on a stool, waved her knickers"

[easthambull]

Commercials are coming up soon I know by the jing-a-ly tune It's really a joke there's not one for coke; The gear you can snort from a spoon. One morning when up with the larks I chanced upon the grave of Karl Marx

[Joke Whole]

"I'm worried about Hercule Poirot There's a murder wherever he'd go Be a bit of a bummer If he went to Midsommer All bodies, lined up in a row. Commercials are coming up soon I know by the jing-a-ly tune"

[Saul Bollox]

"Whilst mooching the street called Balaam I encountered that cսnt Big Fat Sam He'd just left a sauna Which was round the corner, To which he had been with Avram. I'm worried about Hercule Poirot There's a murder wherever he'd go"

[easthambull]

"On holiday in Madiera I caught sight of Alan Shearer Sipping beer, he sat the arrogant twat With a skanky crack whore called Kiera Whilst mooching the street called Balaam I encountered that cսnt Big Fat Sam"

[,]

"There was a young girl called Simone, Who spent all her life on the phone one day she got vexed sending a text and realised she was all alone On holiday in Madiera I caught sight of Alan Shearer"

[Saul Bollox]

"Our manager, with the media is blunt And it's been said has a great deal of front His team doing wobblers He's talking cobblers, A much better man we must hunt. There was a young girl called Simone, Who spent all her life on the phone"

[Saul Bollox]

"Our manager, with the media is blunt And it's been said has a great deal of front His team doing wobblers He's talking cobblers, A much better man we must hunt. There was a young girl called Simone, Who spent all her life on the phone"

[Alwaysaniron]

"A young lady was caught rather short As the navy came into port They all had a hand in her In a room there in Canada Now all four are banged up in court! Our manager, with the media is blunt And it's been said has a great deal of front"

[Far East Hammer]

The navy has set off to sea The sailors are dancing with glee Life on the ocean wave Is really one big rave That is if you're AC/DC A young lady was caught rather short As the navy came into port

[Joke Whole]

"Stood in line waiting at the bank I couldn't resist a quick wank The girl at the counter Then said I could mount her In her, my deposit, I sank. The navy has set off to sea The sailors are dancing with glee"

[Joke Whole]

"Stood in line waiting at the bank I couldn't resist a quick wank The girl at the counter Then said I could mount her In her, my deposit, I sank. The navy has set off to sea The sailors are dancing with glee"

[Far East Hammer]

"Come on Fatty, you know It's past the time you should go And each further day That you deign to stay Even more we shall hate you Stood in line waiting at the bank I couldn't resist a quick wank"

[Helmut Shown]

"We did not turn up against City, Our football was dire, what a pity The fat northern cսnt Then has the front To blame all but him, how shitty! Come on Fatty, you know It's past the time you should go"

[Saul Bollox]

"There once was a charity cause That needed a laptop for"" tours"" His name was Rolf, and he liked to play golf. Wearing a cap and plus fours. We did not turn up against City, Our football was dire, what a pity."

[easthambull]

"A young housewife from East Kilbride, Was having some fun on the side. The sweaty bitch Jock just loved Scottish cock And Fucked sailors each incoming tide. There once was a charity cause That needed a laptop for"" tours"""

[Saul Bollox]

"A young girl who married in haste Did let herself then go to waste. Fat, ugly and smelly All day watching telly, Her old man at his mum's is now based. A young housewife from East Kilbride, Was having some fun on the side."

[Joke Whole]

There's no use denying it Nothing like a morning shit A voluminous dump Departing one''s rump Required if you want to stay fit. A young girl who married in haste Did let herself then go to waste.

[Far East Hammer]

"In a bar, footballer Juan Mata Was picked up by a brown hatter Despite his denial He did go for anal And felt like his shitter did shatter There's no use denying it Nothing like a morning shit"

[Saul Bollox]

"There was a young man from Perth A homosexual from birth, HIs favourite thing Was entering the ring, Of any young boys he'd unearth. In a bar, footballer Juan Mata Was picked up by a brown hatter"

[Helmut Shown]

In a sauna a man got his wish When he entered the chocolate starfish He saw the shit seep As he went in balls deep With a rather resounding squish There was a young man from Perth A homosexual from birth