New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Jethro Q Walrustitty]

"A man named Tiberious Thank Was cutting in half a long plank He exclaimed "" I have wood"" With his crotch feeling good He decided to go for a wash A cricket match played in the city Was awfully dull, more's the pity"

[strong dreams]

We won't be first on I'd say On this evening's Match of the Day I'll have to confess ta' Not guessing Leicester And Linnekar getting his way! A man named Tiberious Thank Was cutting in half a long plank

[strong dreams]

We won't be first on I'd say On this evening's Match of the Day I'll have to confess ta' Not guessing Leicester And Linnekar getting his way! A man named Tiberious Thank Was cutting in half a long plank

[Helmut Shown]

This season is getting a drag As behind the best we do lag It seems like we're stuck With the boring fat fuck It's enough to make anyone gag We won't be first on I'd say On this evening's Match of the Day .

[Joke Whole]

"A young girl from Sierra Leone, Walked the streets at night on her own But the sundown curfew Left nothing to do So, back home she wandered - alone. This season is getting a drag As behind the best we do lag"

[Saul Bollox]

"A man who was wearing his keys On a rope that stretched way past his knees, Walked into Tesco To whence he did go, To get himself Spanish goat's cheese. A young girl from Sierra Leone, Walked the streets at night on her own"

[Joke Whole]

"I went to the opera last spring, And I'm sure I heard Brunhilde sing In the style of a goat With a very sore throat. In truth, it just wasn't my ""thing"". A man who was wearing his keys On a rope that stretched way past his knees"

[Saul Bollox]

"A young man vented his bile On an episode of Jeremy Kyle LOAFERS AND LOUNGERS & BENEFITS SCOUNGERS! A JOB? THE CUNTS WOULD RUN A MILE. I went to the opera last spring, And I'm sure I heard Brunhilde sing"

[Helmut Shown]

A young man from Tottenham Hale On being released from the jail. From his mum got a sub So he went to the pub And downed ten pints of light ale A young man vented his bile On an episode of Jeremy Kyle

[Saul Bollox]

"Last night I went out for a walk And with an old man I did talk, I was perorating On my decorating And the use of dec'rators caulk. A young man from Tottenham Hale On being released from the jail."

[Joke Whole]

Some think the ladies are cute When they keep their fannies hirsute But I don't really care If they have or lack hair So long as they don't smell of Brut Last night I went out for a walk And with an old man I did talk

[Helmut Shown]

De man from del Monte say YES! So dat night I fock me gal Bess. She knew it were coming She were in for a bumming When I lifted the back of her dress Some think the ladies are cute When they keep their fannies hirsute

[Saul Bollox]

"I sat ages await at the junction 'cos the driver in front had no gumption The stupid chap, Was reading a map, I'd strangle him with no compuction. De man from del Monte say YES! So dat night I fock me gal Bess."

[,]

"I've a new bum gun in the bog Washes bums when choke out a log and the water, high pressure gives much anal pleasure as good as an anal snog I sat ages await at the junction 'cos the driver in front had no gumption"

[Saul Bollox]

"I wouldn't bet a large packet On Us hiring that prick Kenny Jackett, He was at Millwall, And would bring us fuck all And great quality? He does lack it. I've a new bum gun in the bog Washes bums when choke out a log."

[Helmut Shown]

"Mohamed Peace Be Unto Him, Related stories quite grim. About his nine year old wife Giving him strife ,cause he kept hurting her quim I wouldn't bet a large packet On Us hiring that prick Kenny Jackett"

[Saul Bollox]

"There once was an old piano tuner Who passed on his skill to a junior He in his turn Taught my old Uncle Erm But he worked as a council tree pruner. Mohamed Peace Be Unto Him, Related stories quite grim."

[Joke Whole]

"Sorry if late - 3rd world technology & all that. A young man from the Scilly Isles, Took a knife to cut off his own piles But once left bereft From the Grapes of Bum Cleft The chappie was nothing but smiles. There once was an old piano tuner Who passed on his skill to a junior"

[Saul Bollox]

"An Etonian posh boy made a slip 'Bout his team from the premiership Obama, The Queen, Support the said team, But not this tory fucking drip. A young man from the Scilly Isles, Took a knife to cut off his own piles"

[Saul Bollox]

"An Etonian posh boy made a slip 'Bout his team from the premiership Obama, The Queen, Support this team"

[Helmut Shown]

"I guess soon the headlines might be ""Hoity toit has second baby"" Scrambling for the sight Of another parasite Or they'll all be abolished, maybe An Etonian posh boy made a slip 'Bout his team from the premiership"

[Far East Hammer]

"eastham - who's to say it wasn't Nigel!? The media's collective erection of someone's Caesarian Section Is royalist crap Sycophantic pap Diverting attention from the election I guess soon the headlines might be ""Hoity toit has second baby"""

[easthambull]

FEH You missed my inviting cross to rhyme barge with Farage. An innocent young child was felt By a preacher from the Bible Belt He sucked his thumb stuck it in her (?) bum that tasted of feta cheese melt The media's collective erection of someone's Caesarian Section

[easthambull]

FEH You missed my inviting cross to rhyme barge with Farage. An innocent young child was felt By a preacher from the Bible Belt He sucked his thumb stuck it in her (?) bum that tasted of feta cheese melt The media's collective erection of someone's Caesarian Section

[Far East Hammer]

"A politician's last hurrah was an unspeakable act, on a barge He picked up some brasses Exposed all their arses Then gave it to each of them large An innocent young child was felt By a preacher from the Bible Belt"