New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Saul Bollox]

A pile is a horrible thing Hanging inflamed from one's ring But try as I might I could not fix this blight Till I looked up a new cure on Bing. At traffic lights in Montrose I watched a man picking his nose

[Helmut Shown]

There was a young lady in Norwich Who each morning liked to eat porridge The taste was so bland So to give it a hand He sprinkled it with freshly chopped borage A pile is a horrible thing Hanging inflamed from one's ring

[Far East Hammer]

"Which two lines will kill off this thread? No rhymes, either written or said! Just what is taboo On the site called ""who""? And what the hell happened to Ged? There was a young lady in Norwich Who each morning liked to eat porridge"

[Joke Whole]

"Galloway and Farage in the boozer Calling one another a loser And, just before lunch, One delivered a punch, But nobody saw the abuser. Which two lines will kill off this thread? No rhymes, either written or said!"

[Far East Hammer]

When we go to the Olympic site Will the atmosphere be good or shite But who would give a fuck If with Allardyce we're stuck Might as well just go fly a kite Galloway and Farage in the boozer Calling one another a loser

[Saul Bollox]

The season comes slowly to an end Once more down the table we descend. Our last year at the ground. Will our exploits resound Or will we reach the usual dead-end. When we go to the Olympic site Will the atmosphere be good or shite

[Saul Bollox]

The season comes slowly to an end Once more down the table we descend. Our last year at the ground. Will our exploits resound Or will we reach the usual dead-end. When we go to the Olympic site Will the atmosphere be good or shite

[Helmut Shown]

My friend is making me quite weary Everything's a conspiracy theory High ranking paedos Touching boys in their speedos Fobbing off any official query The season comes slowly to an end Once more down the table we descend

[Saul Bollox]

"If I were forced to choose I would rather give up smoking than booze Smoking to be blunt, You must be a cսnt, Getting pissed though does quite amuse. My friend is making me quite weary Everything's a conspiracy theory"

[strong dreams]

I'm counting the days till we vote My choice of MP is a goat He looks very weird With a full goatee beard And a big wooly angora coat If I were forced to choose I would rather give up smoking than booze

[Joke Whole]

"Miliband and Cameron went out For a pint of bitter and stout The pub that they chose Was ""The Pobble's Lost Toes"" Good match for the nonsense they spout. I'm counting the days till we vote My choice of MP is a goat"

[strong dreams]

There once was a girl called Jean Who failed to keep her privates clean When she sat down She left something brown Although it could be considered dark green Miliband and Cameron went out For a pint of bitter and stout

[Helmut Shown]

Oops My PC is off for repair I've made sure my porn is not there So no bestial sex Or vibrating objects No gratuitous pubic hair There once was a girl called Jean Who failed to keep her privates clean

[Helmut Shown]

"A ""model"" appearing on Babestation. Made a slip up that caused consternation As her thong slipped a bit Exposing her clit Like a mussel or similar crustacean There once was a girl called Jean Who failed to keep her privates clean"

[Joke Whole]

"A ""model"" appearing on Babestation. Made a slip up that caused consternation A dick of some size, And a gonad surprise Killed off any viewer elation. My PC is off for repair I've made sure my porn is not there"

[Saul Bollox]

"What with Allardyce and the election I'd like to switch off for relaxation To soothe my head, Tried the Limerick thread But here too, there is no cessation. A ""model"" appearing on Babestation. Made a slip up that caused consternation"

[Far East Hammer]

"In public, he had one off the wrist He's now on the sex offenders list Claiming it's unfair His girlfriend named Claire Wanted a ""necklace"" but he missed What with Allardyce and the election I'd like to switch off for relaxation"

[Helmut Shown]

"Even though Noble managed to score The weekend's game was another bore The substandard fare Would make most people swear Show the fat cսnt the door In public, he had one off the wrist He's now on the sex offenders list"

[Far East Hammer]

"A man kept in a private store, The used drawers of his mother in law Whilst no-one knew why His missus did cry As going commando made her mum sore Even though Noble managed to score The weekend's game was another bore"

[Saul Bollox]

"A man kept in a private store, The used drawers of his mother in law"

[Saul Bollox]

"Now that the rains have arrived, I don't need to hose down my drive But if there's a drought I'll pull my finger out And get to do it, my best friend Clive."

[Joke Whole]

"Now they've rebought the Premier League Of this sport i am feelng fatigue I simply shall pass On this commercialised arse Until common sense does succeed. Now that the rains have arrived, I don't need to hose down my drive."

[Saul Bollox]

"Wigan and Millwall, now third tier Must be time for a beer Next please let it be The team of Levy If them cunts dropped we would all cheer. Now they've rebought the Premier League Of this sport i am feelng fatigue"

[Helmut Shown]

"When Tottenham play the top four, Everyone knows what's in store Levy in tears Taking the jeers A gutless display, piss poor Wigan and Millwall, now third tier Must be time for a beer"

[Saul Bollox]

"A cricket match played in the city Was awfully dull, more's the pity But better to see Than the fare at UP. Which at best I'd described as quite shitty. When Tottenham play the top four, Everyone knows what's in store"