New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Helmut Shown]

My senile old aunt has gone missing And all of us here are just wishing We've searched everywhere She should go into care Sitting on newspaper pissing A young Irish girl from Tralee Was caught short wanting a pee

[Joke Whole]

"MPs waiting on tenterhooks At the ready their expense books Oh, damn! Swear and curse My claim for this verse? Rejected! That's why it don't work. My senile old aunt has gone missing And all of us here are just wishing"

[Far East Hammer]

I'm told that the girls of Sancerre Don't often change their underwear It means that their pink Will often quite stink Not to mention the stench elsewhere MPs waiting on tenterhooks At the ready their expense books

[Saul Bollox]

"Oops Ed Balls is an odious man And his seat may gone down the can Good or bad luck, But who gives a fuck Another day, same shit, old man. I'm told that the girls of Sancerre Don't often change their underwear"

[Saul Bollox]

"Ed Balls is an odious man And his seat may gone down the can Good or bad luck, But who gives a fuck Another day, same shit, my old chum. I'm told that the girls of Sancerre Don't often change their underwear"

[Livingstone]

PS Ed Balls is an odious man And his seat may gone down the can

[Livingstone]

I am truly just thrilled to pieces That we have two talented Reeces Weve had Ravels Kevs and Marks Some dull and bright sparks But these Reeces are a talented species

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"Tim Sherwood, the Arsenal fan Was once caught plating his nan He said with a grin Whilst wiping is chin It's better than fish from a can I am truly just thrilled to pieces That we have two talented Reeces"

[easthambull]

"An army chaplain called Roy Was fondling a young drummer boy Who played the pink flute In a black gimp suit And then came over all coy Tim Sherwood, the Arsenal fan Was once caught plating his nan"

[Saul Bollox]

"A French girl who came from Tours Walked around town without drawers The wind in a flash Exposed her hairy gash, Which is good, I am told, for the pores An army chaplain called Roy Was fondling a young drummer boy"

[Saul Bollox]

"A French girl who came from Tours Walked around town without drawers The wind in a flash Exposed her hairy gash, Which is good, I am told, for the pores An army chaplain called Roy Was fondling a young drummer boy"

[Helmut Shown]

I fancy a change from my beer. Does that mean that I'm turning queer? I tried Super Bock But it softened my cock Back to the Pride I fear A French girl who came from Tours Walked around town without drawers

[Joke Whole]

"More filth's what's required on this thread, Anal sex, felching, and giving head. A dump on one's face, If done with good grace Will keep my perversions well fed. A fancy a change from my beer. Does that mean that I'm turning queer?"

[Saul Bollox]

"Whilst munching another fish head pie Allardyce dreamt up another lie Allardyce, politics Gives posters their kicks, This repetitiveness, makes me cry. More filth's what's required on this thread, Anal sex, felching, and giving head"

[Far East Hammer]

"A glorious start back last summer Has morphed itself into a bummer Nolan's so called ""fitness"" Or what we did witness Certainly ain't fit for an'ammer Whilst munching another fish head pie Allardyce dreamt up another lie"

[Joke Whole]

Allardyce went to the polling booth Despite complaining of a sore tooth We all share his pain As we note - once AGAIN That Nolan's preferred to the youth A glorious start back last summer Has morphed itself into a bummer

[Far East Hammer]

"Tomorrow, the counters reveal What many declared a done deal David or Ed? What pollsters said Right now they don't have a feel Allardyce went to the polling booth Despite complaining of a sore tooth"

[Joke Whole]

"It's voting day back in Blighty Pick your face from the almighty! The trough of desire Waits those who acquire Your votes...It's bound to be packed. Tightly. Tomorrow, the counters reveal What many declared a done deal"

[Far East Hammer]

"A girl who lived near Turnpike Lane. Hung her knickers to dry in the rain Well, this kept them quite wet And like her other set They too sported a great big stain It's voting day back in Blighty Pick your face from the almighty!"

[Saul Bollox]

A bloke with a peculiar wife Once appeared on 'This is Your Life' The laughter and cries A whole pack of lies As she'd cut off his cock with a knife. A girl who lived near Turnpike Lane. Hung her knickers to dry in the rain

[Jethro Q Walrustitty]

There was a young man from Pinner Had pie and mash for every dinner Being at the end of his wits After a dose of the squits But at least he looked a bit thinner A bloke with a peculiar wife Once appeared on 'This is Your Life'

[Saul Bollox]

"Antiques, cookery or soaps TV seems to cater for dopes, So I've come to this site All this Alardyce shite. And election threads have dashed my hopes. There was a young man from Pinner Had pie and mash for every dinner"

[Helmut Shown]

"Last week when I went to the Doc's, He said I had picked up the pox My eyehole is killin' And I'm on penicillin Cos of some old whore's dirty box Antiques, cookery or soaps TV seems to cater for dopes"

[Saul Bollox]

"There's one thing of which I'm not proud: Occurs when I sneeze right out loud. From a nostril is shot A huge piece of green snot. Which disappears into the crowd. Last week when I went to the Doc's, He said I had picked up the pox."

[Joke Whole]

"At traffic lights in Montrose I watched a man picking his nose. The canny old Scot Did not waste his snot: It went straight in his mouth, as it goes. There's one thing of which I'm not proud: Occurs when I sneeze right out loud."