New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[les marteaux]

"When is the yearly review? The demise of Fat Sam, overdue He should go to the meeting And told, after the greeting This P.45 is for you. During 69, 'twas a disgrace. The bitch blew off right in my face"

[Helmut Shown]

"There once was a barmaid called Nelly, Who, it's said, once appeared on the telly It was on Babestation Over zealous masturbation With a surfeit of the best KY jelly When is the yearly review? The demise of Fat Sam, overdue"

[les marteaux]

"Last night I consumed too much curry And now to the bog I must hurry, I'm feeling quite sick, I must get there quick To do output that looks like pig slurry. There once was a barmaid called Nelly, Who, it's said, once appeared on the telly"

[Joke Whole]

"While having some afternoon tea, I farted, she looked angry at me, It wasn't the noise, Or my cheek parting ploys, But 'cos I had done so with such glee. Last night I consumed too much curry And now to the bog I must hurry"

[les marteaux]

"I had this hapless mate called Nick Messed up riding his pogo stick According to his pal, He fell in the canal When the stick bounced off a half brick. While having some afternoon tea, I farted, she looked angry at me,"

[Far East Hammer]

Theresa May from the Home Office Has a face like she's straining to piss Seemingly in pain It's not really vain Going around looking all amiss I had this hapless mate called Nick Messed up riding his pogo stick

[Helmut Shown]

"The Tories, to settle a score Will look to repeal just one law The upper class shites Will fuck over your rights Citing Muslims as the reason for Theresa May from the Home Office Has a face like she's straining to piss"

[Joke Whole]

"I suspected something amiss Awaking in a pool of piss But I was in the wrong house So crept out, like a mouse... ...you won't here no more about this. The Tories, to settle a score Will look to repeal just one law"

[Far East Hammer]

A man from the Emerald Isle. Was drunk and unconscious a while He awoke in the sack And received a good smack For the bint's bloke did not smile I suspected something amiss Awaking in a pool of piss

[Saul Bollox]

"I am a red-blooded male And I enjoy chasing tail This was my defence In the Magistrate's, hence, I'm now doing time in the jail. A man from the Emerald Isle. Was drunk and unconscious a while"

[Far East Hammer]

The Alf Garnett syndrome it's true Is alive and kicking on WHO Working class Tories Swallowing stories From those with blood so blue I am a red-blooded male And I enjoy chasing tail

[Saul Bollox]

"I buy my austerity cheap, So more of my money I keep I mend things that's ripping, I eat bread and dripping. And food from my garden I reap. The Alf Garnett syndrome it's true Is alive and kicking on WHO"

[Joke Whole]

"A young Jewish man from New York, Had a liking for bacon and pork ""I like to be fed"" ""On pigs that are dead"" ""I'm starving. No more of this talk."" I buy my austerity cheap, So more of my money I keep."

[Saul Bollox]

"Harry Redknapp has done quite a bit To drop QPR in the shit. Left cos he was ill. or his hand in the till? As a character he's quite unfit. A young Jewish man from New York, Had a liking for bacon and pork"

[Saul Bollox]

"Harry Redknapp has done quite a bit To drop QPR in the shit. Left cos he was ill. or his hand in the till? As a character he's quite unfit. A young Jewish man from New York, Had a liking for bacon and pork"

[Saul Bollox]

Harry Redknapp has done quite a bit To drop QPR in the shit. Left cos he was ill. or his hand in the till?

[Helmut Shown]

A young lady who lived near the Humber Went to Tesco and bought a cucumber But was not stiff enough To stick up her chuff So she fashioned one out of old lumber Harry Redknapp has done quite a bit To drop QPR in the shit

[les marteaux]

There once was a woman from Rhyl No cock could her fanny fill Till she met her bloke Marky A six foot four darkie With a fourteen and a half inch old bill. A young lady who lived near the Humber Went to Tesco and bought a cucumber

[Helmut Shown]

"In other news, Little Bo Peep, Was caught being fucked by a sheep Her uncontrolled libido On an ovine torpedo It certainly makes the flesh creep There once was a woman from Rhyl No cock could her fanny fill"

[Saul Bollox]

"The Liberals now paying the price Lost all their seats in a trice To vote nationalist The Scotch must've been pissed Now it's Thatcherite rule, not so nice. In other news, Little Bo Peep, Was caught being fucked by a sheep."

[Helmut Shown]

"Extreme far right wing politics, Is espoused on this site by the pricks Grandad turns in his grave At this neo fascist wave Cheering Cameron and his dirty tricks The Liberals now paying the price Lost all their seats in a trice"

[Saul Bollox]

"The hooray henries will be happy But for everyone else it's crappy Rejoicing on WHO by the far right wing crew. Some of whom should be in a nappy. Extreme far right wing politics, Is espoused on this site by the pricks"

[Far East Hammer]

fuck it! Tomorrow is Villa away What tactics will the Fat cսnt play? Will it be beautiful? Are you a fucking fool? More boredom for that cսnt's payday The hooray henries will be happy But for everyone else it's crappy

[Far East Hammer]

A young Irish girl from Tralee Was caught short wanting a pee She went into a bush Where she snagged her ermmm bush Tangled twigs and pubes a sight to see The hooray henries will be happy But for everyone else it's crappy

[easthambull]

A young Irish girl from Tralee Was caught short wanting a pee The pikey young trout Had drunk too much Stout So the pee gushed right down her knee. Tomorrow is Villa away What tactics will the Fat cսnt play?