New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Saul Bollox]

"A girl in tight jeans that I know Often displays camel toe The crutch of this tramp, Hot, smelly and damp A good place for bacteria to grow. Ben Adhem (May his tribe increase) Awoke from a deep dream of peace"

[Helmut Shown]

The season's almost ended And feelings for Sam are dead His players unfit And his selections shit Put this awful era to bed A girl in tight jeans that I know Often displays camel toe

[KingandPaynter]

Alison

[Far East Hammer]

There once was a girt from Liubitz Had an accident doing the splits. Her bowels were loose Stank out the hoose And mopped up the mess with her hands The season's almost ended And feelings for Sam are dead

[joe blob]

"last year I was struck with a cough and both of my elbows fell off Lord Charles once told me At Clacton on Sea, Or it might have been that Darren Gough. There once was a girt from Liubitz Had an accident doing the splits."

[Jethro Q Walrustitty]

"Whilst shopping one day with my wife, She gave me the shock of my life. I got to the till and looked at the bill now I'm slitting my wrists with a fork last year I was struck with a cough and both of my elbows fell off"

[Joke Whole]

"In a public toilet in Torbay, An effeminate man smiled my way. I told him ""I'm straight,"" He said, ""OK, mate"" ""But for a quick nosh I will pay."" Whilst shopping one day with my wife, She gave me the shock of my life."

[joe blob]

"It seems to have a chat show today The host has got to be gay. In soap operas too, Straight characters are few Many dykes and poofs on display. In a public toilet in Torbay, An effeminate man smiled my way."

[Helmut Shown]

"The magician known as Ali Bongo, Picked up a young girl from The Congo When Yewtree came near He made the girl disappear She turned up on the planet Mongo It seems to have a chat show today The host has got to be gay"

[Saul Bollox]

"My plane is delayed at the gate, So another two hours I must wait, I look at the clock A delay to Bangkok, I can't wait for my ladyboy mate. The magician known as Ali Bongo, Picked up a young girl from The Congo"

[Joke Whole]

"The dementia defence seems to work For paedo MPs it's a perk Handing round little boys Like bags of small toys, The stories just linger and lurk My plane is delayed at the gate, So another two hours I must wait"

[Helmut Shown]

Sepp Blatter ordered some chicks Whilst counting his spondoolicks If you've got the front You can act like a cսnt Those that elect him are pricks The dementia defence seems to work For paedo MPs it's a perk

[Far East Hammer]

In a brothel in Kingston Jamaica Up the rectum a tart let's you take 'er She's often schupped By the corrupt Apparently Blatter's a regular Sepp Blatter ordered some chicks Whilst counting his spondoolicks

[Saul Bollox]

"The Macdonalds diet of some Increases the size of the bum, It makes foul smelling farts, Impairs ones private parts And reduces sperm count in your cum. In a brothel in Kingston Jamaica Up the rectum a tart let's you take 'er"

[Helmut Shown]

"A female student of psychology, Had an big interest in scatology At lunch in the White Hart She dropped a wet fart Now she owes her host an apology The Macdonalds diet of some Increases the size of the bum"

[Saul Bollox]

"For once, Sam, please act the toff Hand in your notice, fuck off You've had a good whack, Now it's time to go back, And stick your nose in a northern trough. A female student of psychology, Had an big interest in scatology"

[Saul Bollox]

"Eco warriors don't always like all the people who're keen to recycle But don't get in a lather, I'm sure you would rather Watch films starring Ian Carmichael. It's said Emporer Charlemagne Was cynical, pompous and vain."

[Helmut Shown]

"Eco warriors don't always like all the people who're keen to recycle Puts other complexions On fortnightly collections I think they are taking the Michael For once, Sam, please act the toff Hand in your notice, fuck off"

[Helmut Shown]

"Eco warriors don't always like all the people who're keen to recycle Puts other complexions On fortnightly collections I think they are taking the Michael For once, Sam, please act the toff Hand in your notice, fuck off"

[,]

"Try to get the next three lines with the name Micheal at the end. My third line should have ended at ""taste"". With ""of industrial waste"" being the forth line. I forgot to hit the return key."

[Joke Whole]

", 6:40 Thu May 14 Re: New Limerick Thread To be honest, punctuation minor, even with my long experience of various English accents, I'm struggling to find a rhyme that meets the accepted de facto for the first two lines of a limerick there. Can you help me out?"

[,]

"The bloke at the municipal dump His attitude gives me the hump So I gave him a taste of ""industrial"" waste By giving his nose a thump Eco warriors don't always like all the people who're keen to recycle"

[Helmut Shown]

"After walking a mile in IKEA I bought a chest with a veneer Their Swedish productions With assembly instructions Which, at best, are very unclear The bloke at the municipal dump His attitude gives me the hump"

[Saul Bollox]

Tax cuts for the rich on their way As usual the working class pay This is nothing new It's what these cunts do. But the public have now had their say. After walking a mile in IKEA I bought a chest with a veneer

[Helmut Shown]

"During 69, 'twas a disgrace. The bitch blew off right in my face The smell of her crack With a smattering of cack Please! There's a time and a place Tax cuts for the rich on their way As usual the working class pay"