New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Far East Hammer]

During a serious part A newsreader dropped a loud fart 'Twas a sight to be seen As his co-host turned green And was carried off in a cart I caused fellow commuters some pain A silent and deadly on the train

[Far East Hammer]

During a serious part A newsreader dropped a loud fart 'Twas a sight to be seen As his co-host turned green And was carried off in a cart I caused fellow commuters some pain A silent and deadly on the train

[Helmut Shown]

A young lady from Melton Mowbray In public naughty games would play As people would pass She'd flash her bare arse And even her buttocks she'd splay During a serious part A newsreader dropped a loud fart

[Far East Hammer]

"At a game against Manchester City A young lady took out her titty. It was much more nice Than Sam Allardyce 'Cause let's face it, he's shitty A young lady from Melton Mowbray In public naughty games would play"

[Saul Bollox]

"""That ball was not in, it was OUT!"" Is known as ""The Wimbledon Shout"" Said a player so tall As she picked up her ball The ball boy could see up her clout. At a game against Manchester City A young lady took out her titty."

[Joke Whole]

"A naturist girl from Rhyl Lay sunbathing at the top of a hill A stranger called Jack Did plunder her crack Then buggered her arse-hole at will. ""That ball was not in, it was OUT!"" Is known as ""The Wimbledon Shout"""

[Helmut Shown]

"An elderly dominatrix from Stoke Had gone quite a while since her last poke A sailor who she knew Said ""fart and give us a clue"" She didn't think much of his joke A naturist girl from Rhyl Lay sunbathing at the top of a hill"

[Far East Hammer]

"Last week I drove to a market In my car but there's nowhere to park it. So I drove around Whilst I also frowned Eventually yelling out ""oh fuck it!"" An elderly dominatrix from Stoke Had gone quite a while since her last poke"

[Saul Bollox]

A trawlerman leaving the dock Massaged fish oil over his cock Slipped in easy enough Then slipped out of the muff Of a fishwife who'd lifted her frock. Last week I drove to a market In my car but there's nowhere to park it.

[Monk~koknee]

There was a young man from North Cheam Was roused while having a wet dream His remarkable horn Is phenomenal porn Just 2 pounds on an internet stream A trawlerman leaving the dock Massaged fish oil over his cock

[Saul Bollox]

"In a tube train going to Wembley Sat a gooner all trembly Staring at the ceiling He'd the sort of feeling, Not experienced since caned in assemby There was a young man from North Cheam Was roused while having a wet dream"

[icwhs]

A fellow from Stockholm called Lars Was a chauffeur for driverless cars He just sat there all day Riding a car full of gays To Stockholms male stripper bars. In a tube train going to Wembley Sat a gooner all trembly

[Saul Bollox]

A fellow from Stockholm called Lars Was a chauffeur for driverless cars Without him it goes So he just picks his nose While looking straight up to the stars. There was a young man from North Cheam Was roused while having a wet dream

[Monk~koknee]

"An astronaut ready for take off Wondered "" What if i just let the brake off?"" It was later reported The mission's aborted A mistake he's unable to shake off A fellow from Stockholm called Lars Was a chauffeur for driverless cars"

[cosmo smallpiece]

"A man from an evil rogue nation Was planning for world domination So he mustered his men At a quarter past ten On the platform at Charing Cross station An astronaut ready for take off Wondered "" What if i just let the brake off?"""

[Monk~koknee]

He emerged from the underground station With a look of complete consternation He couldn't have known He was in the worng zone And is now serving 6 months probation A man from an evil rogue nation Was planning for world domination

[Monk~koknee]

He emerged from the underground station With a look of complete consternation He couldn't have known He was in the worng zone And is now serving 6 months probation A man from an evil rogue nation Was planning for world domination

[cosmo smallpiece]

The exciting thing that makes me stare Is first sight of a girl's pubic hair For i know that i've found Neath that fur covered mound My Holy Grail waits for me there He emerged from the underground station With a look of complete consternation

[Saul Bollox]

The exciting thing that makes me stare Is first sight of a girl's pubic hair

[Saul Bollox]

I wonder who'll be our new gaffer I guess it's not going to be Rafa We will take a punt On some untried cսnt Or maybe a South African kaffir. Fucked if i could find anything else to rhyme.

[cosmo smallpiece]

"The captain of a team from Glossop went months without winning a toss up After winning, this chap And his team did a lap Of honour while hoisting the boss up I wonder who'll be our new gaffer I guess it's not going to be Rafa"

[,]

A young lass from Chorlton-cum-Hardy Was fucking a South London Yardie she got in a state for having to wait his orgasm being somewhat tardy The captain of a team from Glossop went months without winning a toss up

[,]

A young lass from Chorlton-cum-Hardy Was fucking a South London Yardie she got in a state for having to wait his orgasm being somewhat tardy The captain of a team from Glossop went months without winning a toss up

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

While walking Blackpool's Golden Mile A girl stepped out with a smile In place of a cock A nice stick of rock Which she shaped like a dick with a file A young lass from Chorlton-cum-Hardy Was fucking a South London Yardie

[Helmut Shown]

Ben Adhem (May his tribe increase) Awoke from a deep dream of peace There was dampness on his sheet From his crotch down to his feet Through a surfeit of elbow grease While walking Blackpool's Golden Mile A girl stepped out with a smile