New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Joke Whole]

"A lady from round Colney Hatch, Once singed off her pubes with a match She had to declare ""Muff closed for repair"" ""So think of my arse as a snatch."" A young girl would simply not follow Her boyfriend's demands that she swallow"

[Saul Bollox]

"That ugly fucker Steve Bruce, His appearance attracts much abuse But how does this fat berk Ever get any work Relegation, what now's his excuse? A lady from round Colney Hatch, Once singed off her pubes with a match"

[Helmut Shown]

"Sitting on the pan straining hard I suddenly heard someone in the yard With a waft so foul I opened my bowel Leaving my own unique calling card That ugly fucker Steve Bruce, His appearance attracts much abuse"

[strong dreams]

He watched a rivulet of cum. Gently flowing from his girlfriend's bum. Her legs slightly parted She suddenly farted Said rivulet flew off with aplomb! sitting on the pan straining hard I suddenly heard so one in the yard

[Saul Bollox]

"There was.a young girl from Cork Unable to use knife and fork Each evening she ate With her hands from the plate, Mostly bread and butter (or Stork). He watched a rivulet of cum. Gently flowing from his girlfriend's bum."

[Helmut Shown]

"By voting for that cսnt Sepp Blatter. These bribe takers, think it don't matter. On this corrupt little Swiss I wouldn't even piss As his wallet gets fatter and fatter There was.a young girl from Cork Unable to use knife and fork"

[Saul Bollox]

"D'you think Sully and Gold Will bring in Harry from the cold And would Harry still Have his hand in the till. if welcomed back into the fold. By voting for that cսnt Sepp Blatter. These bribe takers, think it don't matter."

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"An outsize man from Cincinatti, Was fed up with being called fatty He had no luck with the tarts So he fondled his parts Which left his knob rather tatty D'you think Sully and Gold Will bring in Harry from the cold"

[Saul Bollox]

"My wife did announce and declare ""My darling, I've nothing to wear!"" I could be shrewd And go in the nude But I'll have to trim my pubic hair. An outsize man from Cincinatti, Was fed up with being called fatty"

[Saul Bollox]

"My wife did announce and declare ""My darling, I've nothing to wear!"" I could be shrewd And go in the nude But I'll have to trim my pubic hair. An outsize man from Cincinatti, Was fed up with being called fatty"

[Joke Whole]

"A bloke living in Baden Baden Had a giant marrow in his garden His wife, at her leisure, Used if for her pleasure She claimed it fair beat his full hard-on. My wife did announce and declare ""My darling, I've nothing to wear!"""

[Saul Bollox]

"I'm fed up with all of the noise About Bielsa, Bilic and Moyes Whoever we get Will we turnaround yet Using what sort of tactical ploys? A bloke living in Baden Baden Had a giant marrow in his garden"

[Helmut Shown]

"There was a young girl from Paris Gave blow jobs in the back of a Yaris But during a session She made the progression And let him put his dick up her Aris I'm fed up with all of the noise About Bielsa, Bilic and Moyes"

[Gavros]

Weirdos

[Saul Bollox]

D'you think we'll suffer fatigue By playing the Europa League Strength we should conserve By playing reserves Or some such other intrigue There was a young girl from Paris Gave blow jobs in the back of a Yaris

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

A professional diver and ducker Sepp Blatter takes all as a sucker I don't know if you know That Sepp is from Bow A real East End sorta mucker D'you think we'll suffer fatigue By playing the Europa League

[Saul Bollox]

"Whilst walking one night, down a lane I got caught in a shower of rain I had to go back Cos I forgot my mac, And i shouted out something profane. A professional diver and ducker Sepp Blatter takes all as a sucker."

[Joke Whole]

"One night when feeling quite pissed I went to an astrologist The bloke had some front He just called me a cսnt So I punched him, quite hard, with my fist. Whilst walking one night, down a lane I got caught in a shower of rain"

[Saul Bollox]

"Was Blatter's conscience partially pricked As his crony mates have just been nicked His bent mates now fall but for Blatter, Fuck all, His corruption just makes you feel sick. One night when feeling quite pissed I went to an astrologist"

[Far East Hammer]

"He's gone, thank fuck for that It has upset that Alan Sugar twat Off to Barca or Re-al? Or so says Curtis his pal But I think his career has now gone splat! Was Blatter's conscience partially pricked As his crony mates have just been nicked"

[Helmut Shown]

"Now we're done with the fat man's regime Will his love child be a distant bad dream? I fucking hope so Just tell him to go Play a much more attacking scheme He's gone, thank fuck for that It has upset that Alan Sugar twat"

[cosmo smallpiece]

"There is something that we must face, This site is a fucking disgrace Now how did that fellow Crapnotshit get just yellow He needs to be put in his place Now we're done with the fat man's regime Will his love child be a distant bad dream?"

[Saul Bollox]

"Just realised I fucked that last one up. Will today be the day that they act Will fat Sam Allardyce be sacked The answer is yes, But I have to confess, Sam out threads this site has not lacked"

[Saul Bollox]

"Will today be the day that they act Will fat Sam Allardyce be sacked The answer is yes, But I have to confess, That we don't need more Allardyce spam. There is something that we must face, This site is a fucking disgrace"

[Helmut Shown]

"A young man of uncertain gender, It is said is a Prisoner of Zenda While he ponders his sex One of the side effects He is almost certainly a bender Will today be the day that they act Will fat Sam Allardyce be sacked"