New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Saul Bollox]

"There I was shagging the love of my life When in walked her sister who is my wife Then old Mrs. East, Joined in with the feast, Keep it in the family, less strife. When Fifa's new boss step to the front, Will we just get another bent cսnt."

[Far East Hammer]

Great changes that really matter First Allardyce gone now Sepp Blatter. Though I'll remain quite vexed Unless Cameron's next Or Farage that Ukip nutter There I was shagging the love of my life When in walked her sister who is my wife

[Saul Bollox]

"In trying to prove they're ""real"" men, Footballers have fucked up again. I once heard some boast, Of doing doing a spit roast. In a hotel room in Phnom Penh. Great changes that really matter First Allardyce gone now Sepp Bl;atter."

[Joke Whole]

"The crooked old cսnt has resigned, Now we don't want more of his kind. Although he's departed, Like someone who's farted There's still a bad smell left behind. In trying to prove they're ""real"" men, Footballers have fucked up again."

[Saul Bollox]

"In a small town in the Pyrenees A girl caught a venereal disease She picked up her chancre From the dirty old wanker, Who used to come round selling cheese. The crooked old cսnt has resigned, Now we don't want more of his kind."

[Helmut Shown]

There was a young man called Stan Thought he'd try having sex with a man What was in the large tube Was out of date lube Causing blood at the bottom of the pan In a small town in the Pyrenees A girl caught a venereal disease

[Saul Bollox]

:.. . ..: :: :: ... : ; .. :: :: ... :.: .. : : Then along came his wife With a big carving knife And cut off his meat and two veg. There was a young man called Stan Thought he'd try having sex with a man

[Joke Whole]

Sepp was divvying up the cash When the cops entered with a crash The suit he had on Was made from Teflon He slipped through their hands in a flash. One for the blind among us: :.. . ..: :: :: ... : ; .. :: :: ... :.: .. : :

[Far East Hammer]

"On the subject of soap opera stuff, Why don't married birds get up the duff As it's them what oughta Rather than their daughter Then again they're often quite rough Sepp was divvying up the cash When the cops entered with a crash"

[Saul Bollox]

"Every night without fail She sits down and watches Emmerdale And if I talk or shout She would give me a clout, Selfishness on industrial scale On the subject of soap opera stuff, Why don't married birds get up the duff"

[Saul Bollox]

"Every night without fail She sits down and watches Emmerdale And if I talk or shout She would give me a clout,"

[Helmut Shown]

There was an old muslim from Crewe Decided to convert to a jew On weekends condemned To the Paxton Road end Just as deluded too Every night without fail She sits down and watches Emmerdale

[Saul Bollox]

"A girl who went out on the game Said her strict upbringing was to blame She had lots of fun Dressed up as a nun, Giving blow jobs and wanks to acclaim. There was an old muslim from Crewe Decided to convert to a jew."

[Saul Bollox]

"A girl who went out on the game Said her strict upbringing was to blame She had lots of fun Dressed up as a nun, Giving blow jobs and wanks to acclaim. There was an old muslim from Crewe Decided to convert to a jew."

[Helmut Shown]

"A young girl got lost in the wood And Fester would help, if he could Tied up to a trunk fanny leaking out spunk They suspect it was Robin Hood A girl who went out on the game Said her strict upbringing was to blame"

[Joke Whole]

"An old age pensioner from Tring Went on Britain's Got Talent to sing. But, ""My Old Man..."" Got him a quick ban They're touchy 'bout that sort of thing A young girl got lost in the wood And Fester would help, if he could."

[Saul Bollox]

"And now, in my life, I take charge, I'm going to book a massage It is my belief That a full strip relief Will be bliss at the point of discharge. An old age pensioner from Tring Went on Britains Got Talent to sing."

[Joke Whole]

"Will the next of our leaders be witless? Will next year's football bore us shitless? It can't get much worse Our first gypsy's curse Left us without boots & quite kitless And now, in my life, I take charge, I'm going to book a massage"

[Helmut Shown]

"A corrupt ref bet on Atletico West Ham winning, he couldn't let it go A agent called round With a few hundred pound From Levy, the game to throw Will the next of our leaders be witless? Will next year's football bore us shitless?"

[Far East Hammer]

"I went to a tarot card reader Who said "" you're an unlucky bleeder"" What I see dare I say McLeish coming your way He'll make you dream of Glenn Roeder A corrupt ref bet on Atletico West Ham winning, he couldn't let it go"

[cosmo smallpiece]

"While doing the Standard crossword He dropped a long and smelly turd On one clue he was stuck Then it hit him, ""oh fuck!"" ""Of course! It's Richard the third!"" I went to a tarot card reader Who said "" you're an unlucky bleeder"""

[Saul Bollox]

"Drinking tea and eating a bun He sat there reading the Sun He then reflected On a life disaffected, ""Being Eton headmaster's no fun"". While doing the Standard crossword He dropped a long and smelly turd"

[Helmut Shown]

There was a young man from Marseilles. Who met a young lad who was gay. They got rather pally In a back alley They're now serving time by the way Drinking tea and eating a bun He sat there reading the Sun

[Saul Bollox]

"A young girl would simply not follow Her boyfriend's demands that she swallow And much worse than that In his face she spat, And in spunk and snot left him to wallow. There was a young man from Marseilles. Who met a young lad who was gay."

[Saul Bollox]

Joke Whole 8:31 Sun May 31 HAHAHAHA!