New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[les marteaux]

"There once was a puppy called ""Patch"" Who had many fleas and would scratch, He scrached for so long That he ripped off his schlong So the vet had to construct a snatch. No Manager yet is in place, I fear we are losing the race."

[Joke Whole]

"There was a young man from Fife who craved a better sex life At the edge of Loch Tay, He found he was gay So no longer needed his wife. There once was a puppy called ""Patch"" Who had many fleas and would scratch"

[Helmut Shown]

A rapist from old London town Was determined he wouldn't go down with a young girl called Sally He pounced in an alley Disguised as a circus clown There was a young man from Fife who craved a better sex life

[Monk~koknee]

Immigration arrested four Poles Bringing illegals through the controls The plan was revealed For badly concealed Were 10 Sikhs in the boot of a Rolls A rapist from old London town Was determined he wouldn't go down

[les marteaux]

My dentist just gave me the bill I have to admit feeling quite ill It might sound quite steep But I have to upkeep A Jag and house up Highgate Hill. Immigration arrested four Poles Bringing illegals through the controls

[Joke Whole]

"A young black girl from Accra Did ping pong ball tricks in a bar The stage was well set When she popped out a net Line judges, ball boys and a car. Whatever him what was late posted. Saves me the effort, lazy git what I am."

[strong dreams]

Late! Yours Helmut

[strong dreams]

It's said that my old auntie Nora Has sores on her labia minora It's eased off with grass That she sticks up her arse Lubricated with 0% flora My dentist just gave me the bill I have to admit feeling quite ill

[Helmut Shown]

It's said that my old auntie Nora Has sores on her labia minora her pubes have gone west When she lifts up her vest It's to apply some follicle restorer A young black girl from Accra Did ping pong ball tricks in a bar

[Helmut Shown]

(nt)

[les marteaux]

"I just had to kill off some ants Who set up a nest in my pants. My wife, as it goes No longer does my clothes And spends all of her time spouting rants. It's said that my old auntie Nora Has sores on her labia minora"

[Joke Whole]

"Yours, les. Me late to party again :-("

[Joke Whole]

"Well, once it was Blatter he backed But now Warner fears he'll be whacked So, just like his brothers He'll duck under the covers And claim his accounts have been hacked. I just had to kill off some ants Who set up a nest in my pants."

[les marteaux]

"Well, once it was Blatter he backed But now Warner fears he'll be whacked Our Jennings, Andrew Exposed him and his crew He's a bloke with no class and no tact.. It's said that my old auntie Nora Has sores on her labia minora"

[Far East Hammer]

"The Irish case? no chance of winning, But accepted a bribe for it's binning An out of court settlement Another dodgy payment FIFA says ""no France? that's sinning!"" Well, once it was Blatter he backed But now Warner fears he'll be whacked"

[les marteaux]

"He's postponed his decision, Gignac Just in case they get Fatty back You may indeed scoff But I'd tell him: ""Fuck off."" And not tolerate conduct so slack. The Irish case? no chance of winning, But accepted a bribe for it's binning"

[les marteaux]

"He's postponed his decision, Gignac Just in case they get Fatty back You may indeed scoff But I'd tell him: ""Fuck off."" And not tolerate conduct so slack. The Irish case? no chance of winning, But accepted a bribe fo it's binning"

[les marteaux]

"He's postponed his decision, Gignac Just in case they get Fatty back You may indeed scoff But I'd tell him: ""Fuck off."" And not tolerate conduct so slack. The Irish case? no chance of winning, But accepted a bribe fo it's binning"

[Helmut Shown]

"Who else is left to approach If Bilic is not our next coach? And when he says no To whom do we go? An approach to McLeish will they broach? He's postponed his decision, Gignac Just in case they get Fatty back"

[Helmut Shown]

(nt)

[,]

The moon it has started to wane Will we ever see it again? Just look at the facts Soon it will wax And evoke a sim'lar refrain Who else is left to approach If Bilic is not our next coach?

[Joke Whole]

A tattooist in North Carolina Was putting a ring in a vagina Oh! Gollum!! Oh! Gosh!!! No...wait. This is tosh. I'm sure we can write something finer. The moon - It has started to wane Will ever we see it again?

[les marteaux]

"Now. Once upon a time, Some cսnt began this rhyme... Then along came some turd To try to find a word That will create a Lim'rick sublime. A tattooist in North Carolina Was putting a ring in a vagina"

[Joke Whole]

"I can reveal the Feds ultimate aim To take over the beautiful game Their early form has taught us They want the games in quarters With nothing left the same Now. Once upon a time, Some cսnt began this rhyme..."

[Monk~koknee]

"When Fifa's new boss steps to the front, Will we just get another bent cսnt It would be quite perverse If the next one is worse And it's all an elaborate stunt I can reveal the Feds ultimate aim To take over the beautiful game"