New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[joe blob]

"I've heard it said that Sam Allardyce Has an irrational fear of mice When they cross the floor, He runs out of the door, Shouting out: "" I ll be back in a trice."" The well known Tennis star Venus Has a minimum spec for a penis."

[Far East Hammer]

A fellow from Canning Town way Wanted sex and was willing to pay He stumped up the cash For some flashy gash And had quite an enjoyable day I've heard it said that Sam Allardyce Has an irrational fear of mice

[Monk~koknee]

"My girlfriend did shout and complain ""A cock up my arse causes pain!"" So I tried with a quail A duck and a snail After which she implored I refrain A fellow from Canning Town way Wanted sex and was willing to pay"

[Joke Whole]

"A young lady from Verona Was an Olympian moaner But little was said While she gave the men head As inside her gob was a boner My girlfriend did shout and complain ""A cock up my arse causes pain!"""

[Joke Whole]

"A young lady from Verona Was an Olympian moaner But little was said While she gave the men head As inside her gob was a boner My girlfriend did shout and complain ""A cock up my arse causes pain!"""

[Far East Hammer]

There was a young man called Dennis Who went on a short tour of Venice He couldn't stand boats And didn't use floats So next time he'll give it a miss A young lady from Verona Was an Olympian moaner

[joe blob]

"So now that we've signed Obiang They'll be no more Kev to harangue Will we now not concede A hard fought for lead, Will we attract more fans from Pyongyang, There was a young man called Dennis Who went on a short tour of Venice"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"A young girl was growing her tits And hair round her moist ""lower bits."" But the state of the arse On this ugly brass Well, that was really the pits. So now that we've signed Obiang They'll be no more Kev to harangue"

[Joke Whole]

"A lady from Catford, it's said Likes multiple men in her bed But, if they've not paid They'll never get laid. She won't even give them free head. A young girl was growing her tits And hair round her moist ""lower bits."""

[Helmut Shown]

"This guy evidently a loon Dreamed of living in Saskatoon He fancied a shag With an Inuit slag By the light of the silvery moon A lady from Catford, it's said Likes multiple men in her bed"

[Far East Hammer]

A old man from Saskatchewan Got rid of his wife for a new'un But she didn't stay long When she saw his limp dong Leaving him feeling a right moron This guy evidently a loon Dreamed of living in Saskatoon

[Saul Bollox]

If it's lesbians you want to see Then Canada's the place to be For a young girl who likes The caress of bull dikes Wearing a big Strapacocktome. A old man from Saskatchewan Got rid of his wife for a new'un

[Saul Bollox]

If it's lesbians you want to see Then Canada's the place to be For a young girl who likes The caress of bull dikes Wearing a big Strapacocktome. A man who came from Saskat

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

Will Bilic give our chaps education Of advantage gained by simulation A dive here or there To be honest's not fair But it's ok for a cheating Croatian If it's lesbians you want to see Then Canada's the place to be

[Saul Bollox]

"Avram met Sam in a bar Both were selling their used car With the money acquired, They soon both retired, To a sauna/massage in ongar. Will Bilic give our chaps education Of advantage gained by simulation"

[Far East Hammer]

Will SlavEn deliver the goods And help get us out of the woods Let's hope it won't be dire In his belly's there's fire And for us Nolan no more plods Avram met Sam in a bar Both were selling their used car

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"There once was a tight fisted yid Took a dwarf to the Kids For a Quid A miserable chappie The midget weren't happy What d'you expect for a pound, Real Madrid? Will Slavan deliver the goods And help get us out of the woods"

[Saul Bollox]

"There once was a man on the moor Who happened to be the pub bore. Anybody hearing His crass Zoltaneering, Found his company a big chore. There once was a tight fisted yid Took a dwarf to the Kids For a Quid"

[Joke Whole]

There was a young girl from Corfu Stopped in a doorway to poo An odorous pile Remained for a while As nobody knew what to do There once was a man on the moor Who happened to be the pub bore.

[Helmut Shown]

There was a young man from Crete Repelled all with his foul smelling feet Asthmatics would wheeze And go weak at the knees And Febreze the stench would defeat There was a young girl from Corfu Stopped in a doorway to poo

[Saul Bollox]

"Whilst I was out walking the dog Out ran a great fat ugly mog My dog, who is gay Yelped and ran away, And disappeared into the fog. A farmer, while digging a ditch Developed a terrible itch He looked and felt rancour On his knob was a chancre Which he got from his missus, the bitch There was a young man from Crete Repelled all with his foul smelling feet"

[Monk~koknee]

"Whilst I was out walking the dog Out ran a great fat ugly mog Then came a mouse An ant and a louse A cricket, a newt and a frog A farmer, while digging a ditch Developed a terrible itch"

[Joke Whole]

"As he sat on a bench eating lunch He was knocked to the ground by a punch It came from a whore Who landed four more The lad didn't pay, is my hunch. A farmer, while digging a ditch Developed a terrible itch"

[Far East Hammer]

As he sat on a bench eating lunch He was knocked to the ground by a punch Some bloke made a stand A jealous husband Identified him with a hunch Whilst I was out walking the dog Out ran a great fat ugly mog

[Helmut Shown]

Katie Hopkins was snorting some coke When in walked a scruffy Tory bloke The powder? Not a trace As he farted in her face I don't think that she saw the joke As he sat on a bench eating lunch He was knocked to the ground by a punch