New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[strong dreams]

"There once was an old drunken Mick, On the District line took out his prick Two old girls sat near by One started to cry The other bent down for a lick I'm stuck in the pub on my jack Waiting for a whisky to knock back"

[joe blob]

"A young lady in Gloucestershire Had a quite embarrassing fear She never goes, To the her local Waitrose, Because all their stuff is too dear. There once was an old drunken Mick, On the District line took out his prick."

[Far East Hammer]

There once was a young Millwall fan. Who was painting his old caravan. Quite dilapidated Not to mention dated And really deserving a ban A young lady in Gloucestershire Had a quite embarrassing fear

[Saul Bollox]

While out one day on his rounds The vicar found five hundred pounds He hid half of his hoard Underneath a floorboard. The rest he hid in the church grounds. There once was a young Millwall fan. Who was painting his old caravan.

[Helmut Shown]

"An old recluse, so one hears Had not spoken for twenty five years Wherever he'd go He couldn't say no To a horde of predatory queers While out one day on his rounds The vicar found five hundred pounds"

[Saul Bollox]

"A priest earned a big reputation For work at his local bus station But 'twas one of his ploys To find runaway boys, And subject them to molestation. An old recluse, so one hears Had not spoken for twenty five years"

[Joke Whole]

"A man from the Ivory Coast Thought he try to make himself French toast. But, suspended by wire, Above a big fire, He turned out more like a pot-roast. A priest earned a big reputation For work at his local bus station"

[Saul Bollox]

"After a right heavy weekend I'm not really yet on the mend, Spent hours in the pub Then went to a club, In a brothel I went in the end. A man from the Ivory Coast Thought he try to make himself french toast."

[Saul Bollox]

"After a right heavy weekend I'm not really yet on the mend, Spent hours in the pub Then went to a club, In a brothel I went in the end. A man from the Ivory Coast Thought he try to make himself french toast."

[Far East Hammer]

An old boy kept losing his denture Due to the onset of dementia Wherever he went They'd have to be sent Including once to Chechnya After a right heavy weekend I'm not really yet on the mend

[cosmo smallpiece]

"Getting head from a bird I just met Then in walked hubby a Viet Vet Unlucky for me He had PTSD The rest you can guess, I would bet An old boy kept losing his denture Due to the onset of dementia"

[Far East Hammer]

There once was a deviant Pole Liked to fuck the colostomy hole The fucking prick Was really sick No wonder he lives life on the dole Getting head from a bird I just met Then in walked hubby a Viet Vet

[les marteaux]

"It is said that some girls from the West Often make love in a vest, And open crutch drawers While bent on all fours The experience? Average at best. There once was a deviant Pole Liked to fuck the colostomy hole"

[Helmut Shown]

On a hot summers night in mid June She swam naked across the lagoon When a very small eel She happened to feel Entered the knot of her balloon It is said that some girls from the West Often make love in a vest

[Helmut Shown]

On a hot summers night in mid June She swam naked across the lagoon

[Monk~koknee]

A tourist while out in Hong Kong Paid a local to play with his Dong With a stroke of the Chin Some Yang and a Yin He eventually came all over Wong On a hot summers night in mid June She swam naked across the lagoon

[Saul Bollox]

The captain of a sea going lugger Smiled and couldn't be smugger He'd won a big bet And his radio set Said England beat Scotland at rugger. A tourist while out in Hong Kong Paid a local to play with his Dong

[Helmut Shown]

"A girl brought her family shame, When she went to work on the game Her clients she'd vex Wouldn't do oral sex Her performance was deemed very tame The captain of a sea going lugger Smiled and couldn't be smugger"

[joe blob]

"Telling the missus you can't beat smut And then she interrupts and says ""but..."" Don't watch this shit You've no need for it., Tonight I'll behave like a slut. A girl brought her family shame, When she went to work on the game"

[Far East Hammer]

"A West Ham fan thought it was fine, Posting porn links on westham online. Thought himself a man For getting a ban Now he's on username number nine Telling the missus you can't beat smut And then she interrupts and says ""but..."""

[joe blob]

"You could tell by the look on his face his opponent had just served an ace, Fuck this for a lark, I'll be laughed off the park I shall hang my head in disgrace. A West Ham fan thought it was fine, Posting porn links on westham online."

[,]

A man in a surgical collar At the Wimbledon was heard to holler you know by heck now I've strained my neck this match is real hard to foller. You could tell by the look on his face his opponent had just served an ace

[Helmut Shown]

At Wimbledon tennis they say All the male spectators are gay but a military cove lets his fingers rove round girls bottoms whilst in the cafe A man in a surgical collar At the Wimbledon was heard to holler

[joe blob]

"Whilst sitting on Henman hill A young Sloane experienced a thrill A ""Come on Timmy"" blurt A man shoved up her skirt His hand, (he was mentally ill) At Wimbledon tennis they say All the male spectators are gay."

[,]

The well known tennis star Venus Has a minimum spec for a penis She knows us on here And thinks we're all queer She said that the first time she'd seen us Whilst sitting on Henman hill A young Sloane experienced a thrill