New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Saul Bollox]

"It is said that the scousers are coarser As they all drink their tea from a saucer, Ill mannered and uncouth Like that cսnt Tony Booth And they've never read Shakespeare or Chaucer. There once was a chap called Rex, On the Central Line showed of his pecs"

[Helmut Shown]

"In the East End of London it's said, The natives are coarse and ill bred I think that you'd find That they all eff and blind And they all cut their toenails in bed It is said that the scousers are coarser As they all drink their tea from a saucer"

[Saul Bollox]

"A young lady enjoyed cunnilingus Given by her pet Aberdeen Angus, While listening to jazz, Liked Miles Davies whereas Her favourite was old Charlie Mingus. In the East End of London it's said, The natives are coarse and ill bred."

[Far East Hammer]

"In a nudist camp in Lesbos A young man ran into his boss. She said ""hi there underling"" ""Get sacked or do me this thing!"" And he got a face full of her moss A young lady enjoyed cunnilingus Given by her pet Aberdeen Angus"

[Saul Bollox]

"Morgue workers so it is said Like the cadavers to give them some head And as sometimes expected, The mouth is infected The colostomomy hole does instead. In a nudist camp in Lesbos A young man ran into his boss."

[Helmut Shown]

"At the party she got very drunk, And onto her knees she had sunk As pissed as a newt She played the pink flute And ended with a mouth full of spunk Morgue workers so it is said Like the cadavers to give them some head"

[Saul Bollox]

"The most boring weeks of the year Oh bollocks! Wimbledon's here, And if you go, they say You are bound t be gay This daft sport attracts only the queer. At the party she got very drunk, And onto her knees she had sunk"

[Helmut Shown]

A supporter of Lusitans. Said we've pulled in a full house of fans A full house is nice 'Cause there's no Allardyce And none of the cսnt's boring plans The most boring weeks of the year Oh bollocks! Wimbledon's here

[joe blob]

"A Rozzer who lives down the road Has a blue light outside his abode, His daughter's is red And oft share her bed, With punters from round her post code A supporter of Lusitans. Said we've pulled in a full house of fans."

[Saul Bollox]

"Their once was a man from Andora Built a box just like that pandora A legend in spanish, Said in this box is fish, And it stunk like a labia minora. A supporter of Lusitans. Said we've pulled in a full house of fans."

[Jethro Q Walrustitty]

Their once was a man from Andorra Built a box just like that pandora When he opened it up It contained a small pup And various fauna and flora A Rozzer who lives down the road Has a blue light outside his abode

[,]

Once more the EU wants to fleece The ordinary folk of Greece That's not true 'cos the bubbles Bring on all their troubles See their laziness just will not cease Their once was a man from Andora Built a box just like that pandora

[Far East Hammer]

"An illegal immigrant's now sorry, That he climbed under a lorry He tried to hold on 'Twas unwise my son And caused street cleaners some worry Once more the EU wants to fleece The ordinary folk of Greece"

[Saul Bollox]

"A gypsy, a tramp and a thief Went out for some barbecued beef That's a tautology, One gypsy's all three, These scumbags can only cause grief. An illegal immigrant's now sorry, That he climbed under a lorry"

[Monk~koknee]

"A northern man called Phipps, Bought a portion of gravy and chips To enjoy them the best He would spread on Dot's breast The thought of it and he always unzips A gypsy, a tramp and a thief Went out for some barbecued beef"

[Saul Bollox]

"There was a young man called Niall Who was attacked by a large crocodile, To escape he endeavored, But his penis was severed He's no more an active paedophile. A northern man called Phipps, Bought a portion of gravy and chips"

[Helmut Shown]

I once knew this lass from Newport Who was really the kinky sort Her sexual powers Would include golden showers And a bit of scat for the sport There was a young man called Niall Who was attacked by a large crocodile

[Far East Hammer]

A girl from Weston-super-Mare On a rollercoaster flashed her pair One larger than the other Just like those on her mother Who used to cause the blokes to stare I once knew this lass from Newport Who was really the kinky sort

[Saul Bollox]

"There was a young lady from Poole In a waste paper bin dropped a stool, The along came Bert A dirty pervert Who smeared it all over his tool. A girl from Weston-super-Mare On a rollercoaster flashed her pair"

[Helmut Shown]

There was a young girl from Devizes Whose looks wouldn't win any prizes Her immoral ways Attracted all waifs and strays Of differing weights and sizes There was a young lady from Poole In a waste paper bin dropped a stool

[Helmut Shown]

There was a young girl from Devizes Whose looks wouldn't win any prizes Her immoral ways Attracted all waifs and strays Of differing weights and sizes There was a young lady from Poole In a waste paper bin dropped a stool

[Saul Bollox]

"There was a young man from Bankok His dick always hard as rock His priapic dong, Was just 3 inches long, Not designed to make young ladies flock. There was a young girl from Devizes Whose looks wouldn't win any prizes"

[Helmut Shown]

"Once my dear old Auntie Mable Laid a rather enormous cable She'd come out and gush ""It won't fucking flush And there's a rise in the water table"" There was a young man from Bankok His dick always hard as rock"

[Saul Bollox]

"I do like a lovely shaped thigh, And a pert little arse makes me sigh Ageing as we speak, The flesh is now week, Noe, I rather have a shepherd's pie. Once my dear old Auntie Mable Laid a rather enormous cable"

[Joke Whole]

"This weather today's the best With girls walking round half dressed There's all those fun bags On show for the lads And little that's hiding the rest I do like a lovely shaped thigh, And a pert little arse makes me sigh"