New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Far East Hammer]

A country singer called Brad Was singing of how times are bad. He would drone On and on About how much he was sad A dirty old perv had a crush On an only just legal lush

[Saul Bollox]

"A willowy girl from near Leith Had problems with two wonky teeth, Which she got in a fight, While working one night In a brothel in old Cowdenbeath. A country singer called Brad Was singing of how times are bad."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Whilst travelling on my way to work I encountered a right fucking berk Some git with no brain Was driving the train, Which accounts for the shudder & jerk. A willowy girl from near Leith Had problems with two wonky teeth"

[Far East Hammer]

"Sat reading his Daily Mail A sharp breath he did inhale ""This can't be right"" ""It's an outrageous sleight"" ""There's no way I deserve jail!"" Whilst travelling on my way to work I encountered a right fucking berk"

[Helmut Shown]

Tony Blair might lose his smug grin At the thought that Corbyn might win The working class choice Means they may get a voice So let Murdoch's libel begin Sat reading his Daily Mail A sharp breath he did inhale

[Far East Hammer]

There was a young lady called Joan Spent most of her life on the phone Speaking erotically To men who practically Had real issues getting a bone Tony Blair might lose his smug grin At the thought that Corbyn might win

[Saul Bollox]

"The pundits made to eat their own words Most are ex Liverpool turds On TV each week But can barely speak, More clearly than illegal Kurds. There was a young lady called Joan Spent most of her life on the phone"

[Helmut Shown]

Rodfarts has issues with mental 'ealf Keeps on making a fool of himself He lets off some steam With opinions extreme Should be with the yids on the Shelf The pundits made to eat their own words Most are ex Liverpool turds

[Far East Hammer]

For the fans at The Emirates We must be one of their pet hates. Every eight years It ends in their tears Really not so frequent dates Rodfarts has issues with mental 'ealf Keeps on making a fool of himself

[Saul Bollox]

"For a couple of hours yesterday The yids at the bottom did stay It's just a shame That it don't stay the same For them to drop, we'd all be gay.* *in the traditional rather than the shirtlfting sense. For the fans at The Emirates We must be one of their pet hates."

[cosmo smallpiece]

"Two nil up and a half hour to play, Now what d'you thing fat Sam would say? He'd tell the back four ""Nothing less than a draw"" And then throw the 3 points away For a couple of hours yesterday The yids at the bottom did stay"

[Saul Bollox]

"Beat the Gooners two nil and it's confounded the views of the pundits They say it was luck But we don't give a fuck, In general they're a bunch of tits. Two nil up and a half hour to play, Now what d'you thing fat Sam would say?"

[,]

"A young man from Guadeloupe Had a bad case of brewers' droop then a neighbour, newish who was actually Jewish cured him with some chicken soup Beat the Gooners two nil and it's confounded the views of the pundits"

[Saul Bollox]

"A chap who was not lured by glamour Elected for life as a hammer, He got in with thugs Doing gambling an drugs And now he's speaking with a stammer A young man from Guadeloupe Had a bad case of brewers' droop"

[Saul Bollox]

"A chap who was not lured by glamour Elected for life as a hammer, He got in with thugs Doing gambling an drugs And now he's speaking with a stammer A young man from Guadeloupe Had a bad case of brewers' droop"

[Monk~koknee]

Tomorrow will it come to pass That we took a good kick up the arse? Will the game ebb and flow? Will we finally know? How empty or full is our glass? A chap who was not lured by glamour Elected for life as a hammer

[cosmo smallpiece]

"There was an old lady called Linda Was a big fan of that Tommy Trinder. But her husband, no joke Said ""I can't stand that bloke!"" And he threw the TV through the windah! Tomorrow will it come to pass That we took a good kick up the arse?"

[Saul Bollox]

"Tarbuck, Lulu and Cilla Black in the seventies the Tories would back Ted Rogers was in . With old Dusty Bin For the talentless they had the knack. There was an old lady called Linda Was a big fan of that Tommy Trinder."

[Helmut Shown]

"Hyperactivity is zanier When combined with nymphomania A frenzied wank From some nympho skank Would leave your eyesight much grainier Tarbuck, Lulu and Cilla Black in the seventies the Tories would back"

[Far East Hammer]

There was a young lady called Daisy Who tended to be very lazy Had almost lost hope Then would smoke some dope And grin as it all went hazy Hyperactivity is zanier When combined with nymphomania

[Saul Bollox]

"With sweetie bag held in his hand Outside the school gates he does stand All day does fuck all But watch the netball, But I think that next week he'll be banned. There was a young lady called Daisy Who tended to be very lazy"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"I always thought Sir Edward Heath, Had secrets behind his grinning teeth. He'd fuck little boys As if they were toys And his mates? They all kept him from grief With sweetie bag held in his hand Outside the school gates he does stand"

[Saul Bollox]

"High level paedos I supposed Have to be dead before exposed, For the proles the word Is you have to do bird, But for toffs, details are undisclosed. I always thought Sir Edward Heath, Had secrets behind his grinning teeth."

[Helmut Shown]

Selling RBS at a vast loss The poor people pay for this dross But rich bankers sit back No chance of the sack And the Tories? They don't give a toss High level paedos I supposed Have to be dead before exposed

[Saul Bollox]

"This week it's off to Romania Is there still Europa-mania? Some on here cringe, At the conduct of Ginge If we win we go to Ruritania. Selling RBS at a vast loss The poor people pay for this dross"