New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Saul Bollox]

"Is Mourinho losing the plot? His after-match comments were rot. The sore losing twit, Spouting far too much shit, Losing gracefully? he just cannot. A young man from Churachandpur, Had thoughts that were dark and impure"

[cosmo smallpiece]

The bald headed Anthony Taylor As a ref? An utter failure We should treat this bald prick Like an old time convict And ship the cսnt off to Australia Is Mourinho losing the plot? His after-match comments were rot

[Helmut Shown]

"Oh pity those poor Chelsea queers, Tonight crying into their beers In their respective boozers Chelsea? Bad losers Citeh raise glasses and say ""Cheers"" The bald headed Anthony Taylor As a ref? An utter failure"

[Saul Bollox]

"It's certainly time, there's no doubt That some referees were shipped out It's high time that we Used the technology, And stop these cunts who the rules do flout. Oh pity those poor Chelsea queers, Tonight crying into their beers,"

[cosmo smallpiece]

"West Ham United's former boss Will be laughing at our first home lossG But he'll still be annoyed His love child's not employed Quite frankly I don't give a toss It's certainly time, there's no doubt That some referees were shipped out"

[Helmut Shown]

"There was an old dear from Nantucket, Who collected her stools in a bucket. She'd been on the ale And kicked over the pail Slipped on her arse and said ""fuck it!"" West Ham United's former boss Will be laughing at our first home loss"

[joe blob]

"That fat cսnt has got some gall Arse end of the season did fuck all. The money was fine Now he's having a whine, His attainment in fact was quite small. There was an old dear from Nantucket, Who collected her stools in a bucket."

[Helmut Shown]

On the Chatanooga Choo Choo A couple knew not what to do The train in the station Them in desperation And left with a bagful of poo That fat cսnt has got some gall Arse end of the season did fuck all

[joe blob]

"On Saturday we play Leicester And looks to be a real tester With these weather reports Should I go in shorts Or wellington boots and sou'wester. On the Chatanooga Choo Choo A couple knew not what to do,"

[,]

The two party system makes me vexed You trade one set of twits for the next And it's plain to see That FPP Leaves Nigel Farage perplexed. On Saturday we play Leicester And looks to be a real tester

[joe blob]

"Tony Blair does whine and moan In a most patronising tone. He'd have got much less flak Had he kept out of Iraq, Where the seeds of despair he had sown. The two party system makes me vexed You trade one set of cunts for the next."

[Far East Hammer]

A young tory chap called Quinn Joined Labour and voted Corbyn But his ruse backfired The public inspired In '20 voted Jeremy in Tony Blair does whine and moan In a most patronising tone

[joe blob]

"Westminster MPs get coy In the company of an under aged boy But in Dolphin Square When the bottoms are bare, Their hearts are filled with lasting joy. A young tory chap called Quinn Joined Labour and voted Corbyn"

[Helmut Shown]

A Chinese prostitute Lin Mai Give a reduced rate in the day But when on the rag And you still want a shag She'd charge you double anyway Westminster MPs get coy In the company of an under aged boy

[Saul Bollox]

"A girl from Leeds had a habit Frequent use of a Rampant Rabbit, She doesn't like cock and keeps it in a sock What a strange world some people inhabit. A Chinese prostitute Lin Mai Give a reduced rate in the day"

[Helmut Shown]

"In a brothel in Bialystock They charge by the size of your cock. But if you haven't enough To fill up a muff It's free, but you're still on the clock A girl from Leeds had a habit Frequent use of a Rampant Rabbit"

[Saul Bollox]

There was a young man from Ukraine Liked six of the best with a can This sado-masochist Would then go and get pissed And next day he would come back again. In a brothel in Bialystock They charge by the size of your cock.

[Helmut Shown]

"There was a young lady from Bow When sat on the bog couldn't go, A tinkling of slash an almighty splash Then she couldn't stem the flow There was a young man from Ukraine Liked six of the best with a cane"

[Helmut Shown]

"There was a young lady from Bow When sat on the bog couldn't go, A tinkling of slash an almighty splash Then she couldn't stem the flow There was a young man from Ukraine Liked six of the best with a cane"

[Saul Bollox]

"So Barton is out on his ear To sign him was a great fear Not exactly a thriller, And his brother's a killer, Not the sort of chap you'd revere. There was a young lady from Bow When sat on the bog couldn't go,"

[Helmut Shown]

I don't know if I have mentioned it. But I can't stand those fucking spurs shit This bunch of cunts Shirts tucked in Y fronts And their chairman is a five star tit So Barton is out on his ear To sign him was a great fear

[Saul Bollox]

"What makes the perfect fit To be a Match of the Day pundit? Unintelligible louse, Who has played for the scouse, That seems to be just about it. I don't know if I have mentioned it. But I can't stand those fucking spurs shit"

[Helmut Shown]

Now playing football effective and slick Would you rather have Sam or Bilic The gutter press howl And Allardyce cries foul But we are better off without the prick What makes the perfect fit To be a Match of the Day pundit?

[Saul Bollox]

"A lady from Tooting Bec Had a string of love bites round her neck And, so I've heard, The deluded old bird Says she got them from Gregory Peck. Now playing football effective and slick Would you rather have Sam or Bilic"

[Helmut Shown]

A dirty old perv had a crush On an only just legal lush In parts of Tashkent The age of consent Would even make Muslims blush A lady from Tooting Bec Had a string of love bites round her neck