New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Helmut Shown]

A conservative supporting scrote Joined the Labour Party to vote... Democracy dies With Murdoch fuelled lies Appealing to the working class turncoat The party of Reagan has the hump And now they have Donald Trump

[Helmut Shown]

A conservative supporting scrote Joined the Labour Party to vote... Democracy dies With Murdoch fuelled lies Appealing to the working class turncoat The party of Reagan has the hump And now they have Donald Trump

[Saul Bollox]

"The politicians stand there all smiles But a lot of them are paedophiles, they make your skin crawl But the filth do fuck all, I'd have them strung up by the piles. A conservative supporting scrote Joined the Labour Party to vote..."

[Helmut Shown]

"Taffy, from the valleys of Wales Had a bad reputation in jails Banged up for skullduggery He graduated to buggery Committed on unwilling males The politicians stand there all smiles But a lot of them are paedophiles"

[Saul Bollox]

"Now Jolly Jack Tar lived in Poole And would play on the dock with his tool This dirty old cսnt, Had a fair bit of front, But some thought his antics were ""cool"". Taffy, from the valleys of Wales Had a bad reputation in jails."

[Monk~koknee]

There once was a man from West Malling Whose behaviour was quite apalling When in the mood Would be totally nude Riding his bike while kerb crawling Now Jolly Jack Tar lived in Poole And would play on the dock with his tool

[,]

There was an old man from Vancouver Exposed himself in the Louvre Because he'd grown keener On one lady cleaner And the way that she used her Hoover There once was a man from West Malling Whose behaviour was quite apalling

[Helmut Shown]

"Well, I suppose if the truth be told These days I'm starting to feel quite old There's a stripe of light russet At the back of my gusset At the front it's turning to mould There was an old man from Vancouver Exposed himself in the Louvre"

[Far East Hammer]

"The decision by the FA pricks Leaves us short between the sticks They're out of touch twats Who don't give a rat's Unless they're side-betting for kicks Well, I suppose if the truth be told These days I'm starting to feel quite old"

[Helmut Shown]

There was a young man from Trieste Whom they say used to sleep in his vest Like slurping from a glass It's a question of class To pass the Terry-Thomas test The decision by the FA pricks Leaves us short between the sticks

[Saul Bollox]

"The king called his court and declared All virgins to be equally shared, His edict was not done, Cos virgins they found none In a test where vaginas were bared. There was a young man from Trieste Whom they say used to sleep in his vest."

[Monk~koknee]

"Whilst licking out Katie Price He found carrots, peas, and brown rice two carrots, a steak a pontefract cake and a thin crusty pizza pie slice The king called his court and declared All virgins to be equally shared"

[Helmut Shown]

"A young lady from Tegucigalpa Enjoyed bukkake was a right gulper* she made a porn book That the police came and took All copies were put in the pulper * not an easy word to rhyme apologies for the poor quality Whilst licking out Katie Price He found carrots, peas, and brown rice"

[Far East Hammer]

There was a young girl from Caracas bought herself a pair of those clackers She'd use them in bed Pretend to give head Then clap'em onto her blokes knackers A young lady from Tegucigalpa Enjoyed bukkake was a right gulper

[Helmut Shown]

There was a man from old La Paz Who was washing his undies with Daz for a night with Christine best they're pristine for displaying all that he has There was a young girl from Caracas bought herself a pair of those clackers

[Saul Bollox]

"They lined up on the dock in Port Said their cocks they weren't trying to hide A lady called Pat Wondered what the hell's that, Then ran below deck and cried. There was a man from old La Paz Who was washing his undies with Daz."

[Helmut Shown]

There was a man from Bangalore Who spied on the woman next door she looked quite appealing through a hole in the ceiling not so good from the hole in the floor They lined up on the dock in Port Said their cocks they weren't trying to hide

[Saul Bollox]

"A young girl charged a large fee To let an old man watch her pee On a glass coffee table, But it was unstable And now they're both in A & E. There was a man from Bangalore Who spied on the woman next door"

[Helmut Shown]

"A mumbo-jumbo believing swine, Has let off a bomb in a shrine There can be no doubt These cunts should chill out Go smoke a spliff, try drinking some wine A young girl charged a large fee To let an old man watch her pee"

[Saul Bollox]

"There was a young man from Crewe Got caught short in need of a poo It was not much fun, Down his leg it did run And most ended up in his shoe. A mumbo-jumbo believing swine, Has let off a bomb in a shrine"

[Helmut Shown]

"Townsend and Jackson's abuses, Of kids they've made lame excuses Isn't it funny When you have loads of money The poor abused kid always loses There was a young man from Crewe Got caught short in need of a poo"

[Saul Bollox]

"A setback was losing to Leicester But we just shouldn't let it fester ""We lose a game But excuses are lame,"" I was once told by old Charlie Chester. Townsend and Jackson's abuses, Of kids they've made lame excuses"

[Saul Bollox]

"A setback was losing to Leicester But we just shouldn't let it fester ""We lose a game But excuses are lame,"" I was once told by old Charlie Chester. Townsend and Jackson's abuses, Of kids they've made lame excuses"

[Helmut Shown]

An old fart from Barrow in Furness Had a bird who was a right mess It just wasn't fair Criticising her hair But it changed when she lifted her dress A setback was losing to Leicester But we just shouldn't let it fester

[Far East Hammer]

"A young man from Churachandpur, Had thoughts that were dark and impure His fiancée nonplussed At him cursed and cussed Said ""I ain't marrying you now, for sure"" An old fart from Barrow in Furness Had a bird who was a right mess"