New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Helmut Shown]

The director said cut 'cos Brad Pitt Had made a right hash of it when appearing in Troy This American pretty boy His pretentious acting was shit Hooray Henry got out his knob And stuffed it in a dead pig's gob

[Saul Bollox]

"So what shall New Labour do? Now that they've been seen clean through, Right wing loonies in power Opposition's a shower The country is now in the poo. The director said cut 'cos Brad Pitt Had made a right hash of it."

[Far East Hammer]

Whether you're Tory or Whig It's not the done thing with a pig Underage school boys Are MPs' fave toys So that enquiry they'll now rig So what shall New Labour do? Now that they've been seen clean through

[Helmut Shown]

At a ritual to stone shaitan Things did not really go to plan For many ragheads There will be no more warm beds Every year when the shit hits the fan Whether you're Tory or Whig It's not the done thing with a pig

[Saul Bollox]

"Cameron electioneering on a farm Was told ""now you do my livestock no harm!"" The rest is history, And no big mystery, A pig's head succumbed to his charm. At a ritual to stone shaitan Things did not really go to plan"

[Far East Hammer]

"In a dream we were playing not bad Beating City at the Etihad, The fans were beholden To tactics of Slaven Leaving the Dudley oaf quite sad Cameron electioneering on a farm Was told ""now you do my livestock no harm!"""

[Saul Bollox]

"There was a young lady from Townsville Who out on the game forgot her pill, Now for her sins, She's the mother of twins, The result of a discounted thrill. In a dream we were playing not bad Beating City at the Etihad,"

[Far East Hammer]

A homosexual from Brisbane Picked up a young lad on the train. The train went bumpety-bump As he squeezed the young lad's rump Which caused only a minor pain There was a young lady from Townsville Who out on the game forgot her pill

[Saul Bollox]

The warden was doing his round When he heard a peculiar sound It was the flasher Bragg Who needed a fag Being shagged by a lag for one pound A homosexual from Brisbane Picked up a young lad on the train.

[Saul Bollox]

"In Pentonville an old lag Remembered when he had his last shag It was in the nonce wing And it was up the ring, Of his cellmate, a flasher called Bragg A homosexual from Brisbane Picked up a young lad on the train."

[cosmo smallpiece]

"In Pentonville an old lag Remembered when he had his last shag ""She was classy alright"" ""Her tattoos were spelt right"" ""And after she gave me a fag"" The warden was doing his round When he heard a peculiar sound"

[Helmut Shown]

There once was a geezer called Max Was washing his arse with Ajax. His woes took the form Of a five star shit storm As it caused his sphincter to relax In Pentonville an old lag Remembered when he had his last shag

[Saul Bollox]

"Here was a young girl from Belize Got stung on her arse by some bees, Giving a blow job, To some blokes hairy knob, And complained it tasted like cheese. There once was a geezer called Max Was washing his arse with Ajax."

[Helmut Shown]

"A working class lad called Ray, Got grief when he came out as gay. His local MP Just couldn't agree But he ""backdoored"" him anyway Here was a young girl from Belize Got stung on her arse by some bees"

[Saul Bollox]

"There once was a young French tart her pubes were cut like a heart A nice sight to see, But between you and me, She smelled like a rancid wet fart. A working class lad called Ray, Got grief when he came out as gay."

[Helmut Shown]

I had this naughty girlfriend Who liked it up her rear end A very tight fit Dick covered in shit As the uphill garden I'd ascend There once was a young French tart her pubes were cut like a heart

[Far East Hammer]

"A pervert I know Mr. Howells, Liked sniffing used sanit'ry towels He was really quite sick As well as a right dick Who also enjoyed sniffing bowels I had this naughty girlfriend Who liked it up her rear end"

[Far East Hammer]

"A pervert I know Mr. Howells, Liked sniffing used sanit'ry towels He was really quite sick As well as a right dick Who also enjoyed sniffing bowels I had this naughty girlfriend Who liked it up her rear end"

[Saul Bollox]

"An out-of-work manager from Dudley Was watching Bilic's team on telly, They'd a two nil lead, But didn't concede Do that for me? not on your nelly. A pervert I know Mr. Howells, Liked sniffing used sanit'ry towels"

[Far East Hammer]

We had a home win on Monday night But the opposition were really shite Against a wally Without his brolly Anyway that young Payet did alright An out-of-work manager from Dudley Was watching Bilic's team on telly

[Helmut Shown]

There was a fine stripper in Slough Whose show was not very high brow Anyone at the front Would see spots on her cսnt And bog roll when she took her bow We had a home win on Monday night But the opposition were really shite

[Far East Hammer]

"There was a young girl called Lydia, Who was known in town for her perfidia. She'd sleep around Shag on the ground And liked to perform in stadia There was a fine stripper in Slough Whose show was not very high brow"

[Saul Bollox]

"The pirate crew were feeling glum For their ship had no more rum, The skipper in this gloom, Stayed locked in his room, Entertained with the cabin boy's bum. There was a young girl called Lydia, Who was known in town for her perfidia."

[Far East Hammer]

"The captain said 'Here's what I thinks"" We'll sell all these drugs to the Chinks Get them all high Whilst we shall vye Against that Dutch cսnt Hiddinks The pirate crew were feeling glum For their ship had no more rum"

[Monk~koknee]

"Livingstone set off for the Nile Told his kin he'd be gone a while But it ended in gloom We are left to presume As his quest simply led to denial The captain said 'Here's what I thinks"" We'll sell all these drugs to the Chinks"