New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Saul Bollox]

"The Mackems, doomed for the drop Have hired a new Woodentop, You may be a fat cսnt, But if you have the front, They will pay you to dish up the slop. Is this really the West Ham way? We're unbeaten playing away."

[Helmut Shown]

"I have to admit as a Jew I really do like A. Pardew But Sam Allardyce Not at any price His ethos just makes me spew The Mackems, doomed for the drop Have hired a new Woodentop"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"A Tottenham fan from East Cheam Protests ""We're a really big team!"" As I lay in my bed My mother, she said... ""You're having a very bad dream"" I have to admit as a Jew I really do like A. Pardew"

[Saul Bollox]

"A factory worker called Bob Rang 111 'bout his knob It was pus stained and rank It was knobbly and stank And looked like a corn on the cob. A Tottenham fan from East Cheam Protests ""We're a really big team!"""

[Saul Bollox]

"A factory worker called Bob Rang 111 'bout his knob It was pus stained and rank It was knobbly and stank And looked like a corn on the cob. A Tottenham fan from East Cheam Protests ""We're a really big team!"""

[Saul Bollox]

"A factory worker called Bob Rang 111 'bout his knob It was pus stained and rank It was knobbly and stank And looked like a corn on the cob. A Tottenham fan from East Cheam Protests ""We're a really big team!"""

[Saul Bollox]

(nt)

[Helmut Shown]

A life on the big ocean waves Sends many young to their graves But the government schmucks Don't give two fucks As long as they're working class slaves A factory worker called Bob Rang 111 'bout his knob

[Mike Oxsaw]

"He turned to the pirate and sneered ""That's a totally inadequate beard"" ""And as for the leg?"" ""Well, is has to be said"" ""It's meant to be straight and not tiered."" A life on the big ocean waves Sends many young men to their graves"

[Monk~koknee]

"The navy's a great life for some. Especially them that likes bum. Though sex can be bought In every port There's no beating an old seaman chum He turned to the pirate and sneered ""That's a totally inadequate beard"""

[Saul Bollox]

There was an elderly vampire Who of the taste of blood did tire. His favourite bon-bon? Sucking a used tampon. The smelliest gave most desire. The navy's a great life for some. Especially them that likes bum.

[Far East Hammer]

"The ""funny man"" Ricky Gervais Favours dressing in leather and lace He thinks it a howl To invite a scowl And loves to see shock on one's face There was an elderly vampire Who of the taste of blood did tire"

[easthambull]

"In Georgia a young racist man Applied to join the Ku Klux Klan Those southern trees With blood on the leaves Had converted him into a fan (Apologies to Abel Meeropol) The ""funny man"" Ricky Gervais Favours dressing in leather and lace"

[Saul Bollox]

"An elderly stripper from Cheam Whose body was hardly a dream Signed onto the dole, When she fell off her pole, And crushed both her tits it would seem. In Georgia a young racist man Applied to join the Ku Klux Klan"

[Far East Hammer]

There was a man from the Azores To his doc went with genital sores. He talked a merry dance Whilst feigning ignorance Denying he'd knobbed many whores An elderly stripper from Cheam Whose body was hardly a dream

[Saul Bollox]

"This fuckng predictive text, it should be pissy old cow."

[Saul Bollox]

"An exhibitionist from Slough Was quite keen to demonstrate how, He opens his Mac. Showing cock and nut-sack, To both young girl or prissy old cow. There was a man from the Azores To his doc went with genital sores."

[Saul Bollox]

"An exhibitionist from Slough Was quite keen to demonstrate how, He opens his Mac. Showing cock and nut-sack, To both young girl or prissy old cow. There was a man from the Azores To his doc went with genital sores."

[Far East Hammer]

Here in Guadeloupe the weather is nice. It's where they film Death in Paradise. Whilst drinking a decent rum It's pretty hard to be glum When back home it's just snow and ice An exhibitionist from Slough Was quite keen to demonstrate how

[Saul Bollox]

Here in Guadeloupe the weather is nice. It's where they film Death in Paradise.:

[Saul Bollox]

"Who are the Jew baiters on the train? Levy's friends in the press will complain, My response is bland, As I don't understand, The first two lines, they seem inane. In the Guadeloupe weather is nice. It's where they film Death in Paradise."

[Helmut Shown]

"My village has got a new bridge It's not on a hill or a ridge But it is utter bliss From it to piss When exceeding my limit, just as smidge Who are the Jew baiters on the train? Levy's friends in the press will complain"

[Mike Oxsaw]

I multi-tasked whilst having a shit Whilst sat I also popped a zit But some fucking troll Had nicked the bog roll Which dampened my thrill quite a bit. My village has got a new bridge It's not on a hill or a ridge.

[Far East Hammer]

"They'll be saying the football is dour, Their relations with Sam will turn sour There won't be a Mackem Who's able to stand him It'll be another right shower I multi-tasked whilst having a shit Whilst sat I also popped a zit"

[Saul Bollox]

"That retarded bloke Harry Kane Looked out of his depth once again In the national shirt He's proved he is dirt, Will he now be England's bane. They'll be saying the football is dour, Their relations with Sam will turn sour"