New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Helmut Shown]

"A kid, playing in his sandpit Dressed up in his full Chelsea kit The action of dog lovers Mean all children it covers In slimy and infected dogshit A young girl from Auchenshuggle Looked up ""big cocks"" on Google"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"While eating my nightly confection, I got a hard throbbing erection. And, Oh...by the way, My knob's named ""Milk Tray"" But the girls all just call it perfection. A kid, playing in his sandpit Dressed up in his full Chelsea kit"

[Saul Bollox]

"A triangle has 3 separate points Marijuana comes best in some joints And Sam Allardyce, Is a bloke who ain't nice, The sort a two bob club appoints. While eating my nightly confection, I got a hard throbbing erection."

[Big Dave]

A triangle has 3 separate points Marijuana comes best in some joints The best design of which one must factor Judicious use of a protractor With the protractorist being one whom one anoints

[Dr Matt]

"A big sensation I'd say, Is the form of Dimitri Payet. He's our favourite fella He owns an umbrella And once rode on old Santa's sleigh A triangle has 3 separate points Marijuana comes best in some joints"

[Saul Bollox]

"Under Billic we're scoring lots And we are above the Totts Their outlook is grey Their supporters gay They are c...ts, (You can fill in the dots). A big sensation I'd say, Is the form of Dimitri Payet."

[Saul Bollox]

"Under Billic we're scoring lots And we are above the Totts Their outlook is grey Their supporters gay They are c...ts, (You can fill in the dots). A big sensation I'd say, Is the form of Dimitri Paget."

[Darlo Debs]

Sorry forgot the next lines.. Under Billic we're scoring lots And we are above the Totts

[Darlo Debs]

Sorry forgot the next lines.. Under Billic we're scoring lots And we are above the Totts

[Darlo Debs]

"The ""Special One's"" tactics amuse I think that they're simply a ruse He blamed the docs Did that Silver Fox He can't accept it when they lose"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"There was a young man called Cole Who Celtic saved from the dole On Orangeman's Day He'll put one away Then claim green & white in his soul The ""Special One's"" tactics amuse I think that they're simply a ruse"

[Lily Hammer]

"There was a young girl called Pat, Whose CLIT hung down from her twat. So low did it droop, It got covered in poop, Each time she sat and shat. There was a young man called Cole Who Celtic saved from the dole"

[Saul Bollox]

"All of her men friends raved When she appeared with her fanny shaved But for it I don't care I preferred her with hair, I wish that her bush she had saved. There was a young girl called Pat, Whose Clitoris hung down from her twat."

[Helmut Shown]

Miniskirts without knickers A dress style admired by vicars On those windy days Full frontal displays Does not do much for their tickers All of her men friends raved When she appeared with her fanny shaved

[Far East Hammer]

"The sun, it is high in the sky: Young girls are exposing more thigh But I still don't get it There's hardly a bare tit Let alone a growler, I sigh Miniskirts without knickers A dress style admired by vicars"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"I don't know if I'm a bit flick, But Helmut's lines seem rather cryptic. To make matters worse It's more prose than verse Excuse me...more windows to lick. The sun, it is high in the sky: Young girls are exposing more thigh"

[Saul Bollox]

"He may give Fat Sam his backing But we've heard that he likes Tarmacing, Is not into fine arts, Sets light to his tarts, And now has invested in FRACKING (this fucking kindle) ch I don't know if I'm a bit flick, But Helmut's lines seem rather cryptic."

[Saul Bollox]

"He may give Fat Sam his backing But we've heard that he likes Tarmacing, Is not into fine arts, Sets light to his tarts, And now has invested in cracking. I don't know if I'm a bit flick, But Helmut's lines seem rather cryptic."

[Helmut Shown]

"I'd just pulled this gorgeous bird When I felt the urge for a turd She turned out a slag Let me shit in her bag But don't tell the wife, mums the word He may give Fat Sam his backing But we've heard that he likes Tarmacing"

[Far East Hammer]

"I presume you mean ""dIck"" not ""dOck""? A doctor inserted his dIck, Into a young girl who was sick. But soon did he curse When caught by a nurse Who gave him an almighty kick I'd just pulled this gorgeous bird When I felt the urge for a turd"

[Saul Bollox]

"The headmaster was behind the bike shed The headgirl was giving him head ""Felatio, fornication, In sex education, Is character building,"" he said. A doctor inserted his dock, Into a young girl who was sick."

[Far East Hammer]

"When the Catholic priest was done, Going through the back doors of a nun, He had a quick spliff And then had a tiff With the Bishop regarding his fun The headmaster was behind the bike shed The headgirl was giving him head"

[Saul Bollox]

"I think that it's really quite sweet That some of the media elite, Continue to be nice, To fatty Allardice, Whose arrogance no-one can beat. When the Catholic priest was done, Going through the back doors of a nun,"

[Mike Oxsaw]

Oh Bilic so nice and polite His post match interviews a delight... He handles the press With guile & finesse: More tactics the guy has got right. I think that it's really quite sweet That some of the media elite

[HairyHammer]

"Is this really the West ham way ? We're unbeaten playing away. We normally lose, which turns us to booze But with Bilic its tea every game. Oh Bilic so nice and polite His post match interviews a delight..."