New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Helmut Shown]

(nt)

[joe blob]

"A mystery shopper called Claire Came in for some new underwear Her old drawers, well worn And now had been torn And they'd cost two and sixpence a pair A young man from down Kentish Town, Joined a circus to work as a clown."

[Monk~koknee]

Too slow Blobby

[joe blob]

"A model was waxing her legs To make them as smooth as fresh eggs The wax that she used Was coconut fused, Which she had delivered in kegs. A young man from down Kentish Town, Joined a circus to work as a clown."

[Monk~koknee]

"A model was waxing her legs To make them as smooth as fresh eggs But was using some shears And the wax from her ears That smart, is the question it begs A mystery shopper called Claire Came in for some new underwear"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A golfer from near Bodmin Moor. Hit the ball as he shouted out, Fore Through the air it did sail Then he let out a wail As it shot through an open church door. A model was waxing her legs To make them as smooth as fresh eggs"

[Saul Bollox]

"The Russians, drug cheats it would seem There's women now on the men's team Tamara Press? Never seen in a dress, There is nothing new in their scheme. A golfer from near Bodmin Moor. Hit the ball as he shouted out, Fore"

[Helmut Shown]

"""You did nod your head?"" Said Michael Miles, To a contestant from Scillly Isles In the yes no interlude His time did conclude Tricked by Michael's guiles The Russians, drug cheats it would seem There's women now on the men's team"

[Saul Bollox]

"As he attempted to get on the nest She said why are you wearing a vest, ""It's a present you see, That mum crocheted for me. Get your drawers off and don't be a pest."" ""You did nod your head?"" Said Michael Miles, To a contestant from Scillly Isles"

[Helmut Shown]

"A hypochondriac from Pratts bottom, All kind of diseases he'd got 'em The smell from his cock Caused blowflies to flock And he spent all his time trying to swat 'em As he attempted to get on the nest She said why are you wearing a vest"

[Saul Bollox]

"I splattered a fly with a swat Informing him ""That was his lot,"" My brain it effects Killing these insects & I've done this three nights on the trot. A hypochondriac from Pratts bottom, All kind of diseases he'd got 'em."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"It was on a moveable feast, The choirboy was abused by the priest To honour his god, The dirty old sod Ensured that the young lad faced east. I splattered a fly with a swat Informing him ""That was his lot,"""

[Saul Bollox]

"It was on a moveable feast, The choirboy was abused by the priest"

[Saul Bollox]

"A frugal young girl from St Johns used corks in the place of tampons A sack for a dress She looks a right mess When all of her wardrobe she dons. The was on a moveable feast, The choirboy was abused by the priest"

[Helmut Shown]

Getting my girl into carnal sin Then back early her parents walked in I can't be too certain wiping knob on the curtain earned a blow from a rolling pin A frugal young girl from St Johns used corks in the place of tampons

[Far East Hammer]

The pages of WHO are quite fast Resembling an election broadcast. Quoting knee-jerking tabloids Back to rivals' mental voids Yet no one ever gets to laugh last Getting my girl into carnal sin Then back early her parents walked in

[Far East Hammer]

The pages of WHO are quite fast Resembling an election broadcast. Quoting knee-jerking tabloids Back to rivals' mental voids Yet no one ever gets to laugh last Getting my girl into carnal sin Then back early her parents walked in

[Saul Bollox]

"Individual mistakes cost the match Are we going to have a rough patch? We've beaten the best, But get fucked by the rest, It's driving me to Colney Hatch. The pages of WHO are quite fast Resembling an election broadcast."

[Helmut Shown]

This thread almost dropped off the page. Just think of the anger and rage What's left is the cant And extreme right wing rant On a purportedly football stage Individual mistakes cost the match Are we going to have a rough patch?

[Mike Oxsaw]

A young geordie man from Jarrow Walked to London pushing a barrow And sat in the cart Was a fat northern tart Who asked to be dropped off at Harrow This thread almost dropped off the page. Just think of the anger and rage!

[Saul Bollox]

Carroll the saviour last week Gave a performance quite bleak Now back in the fold He blows hot and cold But consistency is what we seek. A young geordie man from Jarrow Walked to London pushing a barrow

[Helmut Shown]

While on a boy's night out I fear. I got a dose of Gonorrhoea Oh! Heaven forfend A rotting bell end Through having a surfeit of beer Carroll the saviour last week Gave a performance quite bleak

[Saul Bollox]

"There was old girl called McKay Who lost her glass eye in a pie, All at that seating, Saw her carry on eating, Look for it ? She did not even try. While on a boy's night out I fear. I got a dose of Gonorrhoea"

[Helmut Shown]

A man from near Niagra Falls Was on the tube scratching his balls Life is a bitch When you have dhobi itch And it causes blood spots on your smalls There was old girl called McKay Who lost her glass eye in a pie

[Saul Bollox]

A young lady who came from Devizes Liked cocks in all shapes and sizes But she is most fond Of a very small wand As the magic it conjures surprises. A man from near Niagra Falls Was on the tube scratching his balls.