New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Far East Hammer]

A handsome young man called Peter Came in to read her gas meter She suggested a shag But then Peter did nag Turns out he was a shirt lifter A young lady had a great big zit Blemishing her otherwise cute clit

[Helmut Shown]

"A wandering minstrel called Mike Sashayed into town with his bike In the centre of town Pulled his pantaloons down Exposing himself, dirty tyke! A handsome young man called Peter Came in to read her gas meter"

[Monk~koknee]

"There was a young geezer from Bagham, Whatever girls looked like he'd shag'em No need for consent For in that event He'd take of his pants and then gag 'em A wandering minstrel called Mike Sashayed into town with his bike"

[Saul Bollox]

"As I started to shag her I let rip a right stinker She sounded a slag When she started to nag, And looked like Purity Pinker. There was a young geezer from Bagham, Whatever girls looked like he'd shag'em"

[Far East Hammer]

When sat on the bog for a turd I thought of something quite absurd. Of all the movies In which no-one pees And never is a fart even heard As I started to shag her I let rip a right stinker

[joe blob]

"A young man from Hackney Wick His school report said he was thick An extra chromosome, Gave him Downs Syndrome, On the school bus the windows he'll lick. When sat on the bog for a turd I thought of something quite absurd."

[Helmut Shown]

"Whilst having a shower the Pope Got hold of a soap on a rope. While washing his knob Got a lazy lob But his heart, it just couldn't cope A young man from Hackney Wick His school report said he was thick"

[Saul Bollox]

"After attending a Millwall match His skin he wanted to scratch So if you have the yen, To go to the new den, There's a good chance that scabies you'll catch. Whilst having a shower the Pope Got hold of a soap on a rope."

[Saul Bollox]

(nt)

[Helmut Shown]

"There was an inventor called Miles, Who discovered a new cure for piles Bad side effects Like aversion to sex Withdrawn after medical trials After attending a Millwall match His skin he wanted to scratch"

[joe blob]

*cure

[joe blob]

"In a hovel in Kathmandu He sat pondering on the loo As he dropped a huge log, In the primitive bog, He realised what he should do. There was an inventor called Miles, Who discovered a new cur for piles"

[Helmut Shown]

"Those indomitable soldiers in skirts Stuck their blades in where it really hurts For those that are foreign It wasn't the sporran It's what lurks behind, when it squirts In a hovel in Kathmandu He sat pondering on the loo"

[Monk~koknee]

It is said that Miguel de Cervantes Was caught wearing his wife's frilly panties He didn't take it as far As wearing her bra On account of her massive implant-ies Those indomitable soldiers in skirts Stuck their blades in where it really hurts

[Saul Bollox]

"I was half-way through my interview When I had a sudden urge to poo, I think I'll be binned As I tried to break wind, And unfortunately followed through. It is said that Miguel de Cervantes Was caught wearing his wife's frilly panties"

[Far East Hammer]

A spy who'd come in from the cold Was uncertain how things would unfold His missus had left him He was feeling quite grim To find all his chattels were sold I was half-way through my interview When I had a sudden urge to poo

[Monk~koknee]

There was a young man from Nepal Lay in bed all day doing fuck all. On a mattress of nails With what that entails Was no wonder he'd become an oddball A spy who'd come in from the cold Was uncertain how things would unfold

[Saul Bollox]

"MO Hahahaha Two skaters out on the ice rink Did something to make others blink. During her pirouette, Threw up her tartiflette She shouldn't have had that last drink. There was a young man from Nepal Lay in bed all day doing fuck all."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Famous film actor Michael Caine Was heard shouting out something profane It sounded like ""Doors"" But it could have been ""Whores"" The rest was ""Let's blow them again!"" Two skaters out on the ice rink Did something to make others blink"

[Saul Bollox]

A feisty young girl from Montrose Layed back with an open crotch pose But onlookers cussed Turned their heads in disgust As a really foul stench then arose Famous film actor Michael Caine Was heard shouting out something profane

[Saul Bollox]

A feisty young girl from Montrose Layed back with an open crotch pose But onlookers cussed Turned their heads in disgust As a really foul stench then arose Famous film actor Michael Caine Was heard shouting out something profane

[Helmut Shown]

A man from the Andes foothills Online bought Viagara pills But the pills were a bit iffy Couldn't manage a stiffy So he honed up his plating skills A feisty young girl from Montrose Layed back with an open crotch pose

[Helmut Shown]

A man from the Andes foothills Online bought Viagara pills But the pills were a bit iffy Couldn't manage a stiffy So he honed up his plating skills A feisty young girl from Montrose Payed back with an open crotch pose

[Saul Bollox]

"A young man from central Venezuela On his knob poured kettle descaler Then washed it with soap Because it was his hope, That tonight was the night he'd impale 'er. A man from the Andes foothills Online bought Viagara pills."

[Helmut Shown]

A young man from down Kentish Town Joined a circus to work as a clown His strange sense of humour So goes the rumour Was to pull his underpants down A young man from central Venezuela On his knob poured kettle descaler