New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Helmut Shown]

"There was a man from the Azores, Who liked going through the back doors One day with ten blokes He had many pokes Had jizz leaking out of his pores Aussie fast bowler Peter Siddle Bought all his clothing from Lidl"

[Saul Bollox]

"As a commentator that Glenn Hoddle Showed everyone he knows sod all Most are shit but This religious nut, Talks more than his fair share of twaddle. There was a man from the Azores, Who liked going through the back doors"

[Helmut Shown]

"An art student, a fan of cubism, Got a mouthful of her teachers jism Although to be fair His bollocks were square And it sure beats onanism As a commentator that Glenn Hoddle Showed everyone he knows sod all"

[Helmut Shown]

"An art student, a fan of cubism, Got a mouthful of her teachers jism Although to be fair His bollocks were square And it sure beats onanism As a commentator that Glenn Hoddle Showed everyone he knows sod all"

[Saul Bollox]

"Babestation on Sky TV Wrong trade descriptions sure-ly, In my seat at night sank But they're not worth a wank, Slapper station it should really be. An art student, a fan of cubism, Got a mouthful of her teachers jism."

[Helmut Shown]

"As we shagged in the back of the car, I saw her caesarian scar. Rolled on to her front I withdrew from her cսnt And bashed in her chocolate star Babestation on Sky TV Wrong trade descriptions sure-ly"

[joe blob]

"I've seen Harry Kane in new light With his habit of scuffing on sight, He's rarely on song He looks like a mong, And his team's supporters are shite. As we shagged in the back of the car, I saw her caesarian scar."

[Helmut Shown]

I feel it's something I should state If there's one thing I really do hate When seen on my spoon It's got to be a prune They get pushed to the side of the plate I've seen Harry Kane in new light With his habit of scuffing on sight

[Far East Hammer]

"Of ""celebrities"" I don't know much It just shows that I'm out of touch. But who gives a fuck I think they all suck I don't care for their antics as such I feel it's something I should state If there's one thing I really do hate"

[Saul Bollox]

"Gemma Collins to the bedroom withdrew She had to fart to give him a clue Google says to be blunt She's a fat useless cսnt, Another celeb that I never knew. Of ""celebrities"" I don't know much It just shows that I'm out of touch."

[Helmut Shown]

"ISIS poster boy J1had1 John, Has been hit by a drone now he's gone His terrorist face All over the place Forget the cսnt and move on Gemma Collins to the bedroom withdrew She had to fart to give him a clue"

[Saul Bollox]

"Born in England and play for Man U Or even a 4B2, Without irons in the team, You win nowt it would seem, And it's only three that will do. ISIS poster boy J1had1 John, Has been hit by a drone now he's gone"

[Helmut Shown]

"He sneezed when he kissed that young Lottie, Which made all her face and hair snotty She struck quite a pose With the contents of his nose She pushed his hand from her botty Born in England and play for Man U Or even a 4B2"

[Saul Bollox]

"I hope we don't run out of steam When playing Woys ""England"" team, No Hammers again, Has the man gone insane You'll be picked if you're with a big team. He sneezed when he kissed that young Lottie, Which made all her face and hair snotty"

[Hammer and Pickle]

Could someone get Nurse up here again so I can continue to fuck her up intellectually?

[Helmut Shown]

"Next up we have the spurs Deluded scum and slimy curs Universally despised And all circumcised And dodgy dealing in transfers I hope we don't run out of steam When playing Woys ""England"" team"

[Saul Bollox]

"The mickeys are after ""the Jewel"" If he went there he'd look like a fool It would be a big wrench For just warming the bench, And besides East London is more ""cool"". Next up we have the spurs Deluded scum and slimy curs"

[Helmut Shown]

"There once was an old man called Nash Who, while eating some sausage and mash She walked past in the nude With a display very lewd Showing her razor rash The mickeys are after ""the Jewel"" If he went there he'd look like a fool"

[Saul Bollox]

"She laid on the bed legs apart As he went down, dropped a fart Saying ""Thanks very much."" He withdrew from her crutch, And left her with a broken heart. There once was an old man called Nash Who, while eating some sausage and mash."

[Helmut Shown]

"There was a young lady, a punk, Who was gobbling a big hairy hunk Not a good sight to see Smell of stale sweat and wee As down to his balls she sunk She laid on the bed legs apart As he went down, dropped a fart"

[Saul Bollox]

"Bad times for that Brendan Rodgers He's now had to take in some lodgers He rents out to some Who he thinks he can bum,, With a discount for those with big todgers. There was a young lady, a punk, Who was gobbling a big hairy hunk."

[Helmut Shown]

"At Barking there was an old munter, Charged only a tenner each punter She should charge by weight As her latest ""date"" Is none other than the great Billy Bunter Bad times for that Brendan Rodgers He's now had to take in some lodgers"

[joe blob]

"At an interview Mr Mackay Had forgotten to do up his fly, The chairwoman Sue Had a very good view As his todger flopped onto his thigh. At Barking there was an old munter, Charged only a tenner each punter"

[Helmut Shown]

A young lady had a great big zit Blemishing her otherwise cute clit Wiping back to the front Caused an infected cսnt And it smelt very badly of shit To an interview went Mr Mackay didnt remember to do up his fly

[Helmut Shown]

A young lady had a great big zit Blemishing her otherwise cute clit Wiping back to the front Caused an infected cսnt And it smelt very badly of shit To an interview went Mr Mackay didnt remember to do up his fly