New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[joe blob]

"here was once a grammatical mistake So obscene no one could fake, Instead of good day The email did say. I like being arse fucked by a snake. She grimaced and her eyes were misting, Under his weight turning and twisting"

[joe blob]

"As he stood on a TV quiz show There was nothing he didn't know, Opening box thirteen, On the prize was not keen, It was lessons to play the banjo. She grimaced and her eyes were misting, Under his weight turning and twisting"

[joe blob]

"As he stood on a TV quiz show There was nothing he didn't know, Opening box thirteen, On the prize was not keen, It was lessons to play the banjo. She grimaced and her eyes were misting, Under his weight turning and twisting"

[Big Dave]

"As he stood on a TV quiz show There was nothing he didn't know The brainy man with Tourettes When asked to place his bets Said ""Shitcunt monkey wanker"" where the answer should go. There was once a grammatical mistake So obscene no one could fake"

[Helmut Shown]

"There once was a bloke from Flint, In a brothel stood totally skint. He'd been through the card But his cock was still hard So they gave him for free an old bint As he stood on a TV quiz show There was nothing he didn't know"

[joe blob]

"People buy my grandson toys That make such a fucking noise This Christmas spirit, Is a load of shit, My peace of mind it destroys. There once was a bloke from Flint, In a brothel stood totally skint."

[Helmut Shown]

"Having a leak at the urinal I thought of the 2006 final The ball wasn't punted So Scaloni got cunted And called other things mostly vaginal* * sorry like Nauseas in Up Pompeii couldn't find anything else to,rhyme! People buy my grandson toys That make such a fucking noise"

[joe blob]

Sorry that should be: Having a leak at the urinal I thought of the 2006 final

[joe blob]

"When asked by a tramp for some change The immigrant thought it quite strange ""You Fuckin' big knob, Go and get a job, you like like a dog that's got mange."" Having a leak at the urinal I thought of the 2003 final"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"There was a young girl called Marie Flashed off her arse on page three, Pages four through to eight For it's width was so great It looked like a well used settee When asked by a tramp for some change The immigrant thought it quite strange"

[Helmut Shown]

"There once was a chap called Blatter, Who thought bribery didn't matter. The hypocritical snake Has been on the take Despite all his innocent patter There was a young girl called Marie Flashed off her arse on page three"

[joe blob]

"Our season...it started so bright It seemed we had found a new height Is it always about, Just fizzling out, Or one day, will we cast off this blight. There once was a chap called Blatter, Who thought bribery didn't matter."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"That dirty cսnt Ryan Shawcross, As a footballer's not worth a toss. And for being a sod Gets paid a fat wad By an equally obnoxious boss Our season...it started so bright It seemed we had found a new height"

[Saul Bollox]

"She got on the bed on all fours But she had a skid mark in her drawers. A green patch at the front Put him right off this cսnt, And he was off out through the doors. That dirty cսnt Ryan Shawcross, As a footballer's not worth a toss."

[Helmut Shown]

"There was a young man from Nice, Shoved a carrot up his ring-piece Then a turnip and a swede Up his arsehole did feed And he spat out hot soup from his crease She got on the bed on all fours But she had a skid mark in her drawers"

[joe blob]

"I hope common sense does prevail At the forthcoming Boxing Day sale. A day out for the tight, As they go out to fight, A few quid off, is their holy grail. There was a young man from Nice, Shoved a carrot up his ring-piece."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A man from the Isle of Wight Stumbled drunk through a graveyard one night Calling ""Hi! Diddle-dy do!"" ""Oh, Tex! is that you?"" ""If you say the right words I just might!"" I hope common sense does prevail At the forthcoming Boxing Day sale."

[cosmo smallpiece]

A suicide bomber called Ali Fucked an attack at Alley Palley The grenade in his pants Went off just by chance Before he had even reached Calais A man from the Isle of Wight Stumbled drunk through a graveyard one night

[Saul Bollox]

"A crafty young man called Peter Bypasses his electric meter But now I have heard, That he's doing bird. He shares a cell with a wife beater. A suicide bomber called Ali Fucked an attack at Alley Palley"

[Helmut Shown]

There was a young man called Fox. In a doss house near to Surrey Docks Whilst in the hall Met a girl from Millwall Resulting in a dose of the pox A crafty young man called Peter Bypasses his electric meter

[Saul Bollox]

"I really don't like those women Who let out a fart while I'm rimming A fucking disgrace, Methane gas in your face, It makes me so mad when they're grinning. There was a young man called Fox. In a doss house near to Surrey Docks"

[Helmut Shown]

At the Oxford and Cambridge boat race The Oxford cox covered his face The knob of the Stroke Down his leg did it poke Now that's not so commonplace I really don't like those women Who let out a fart while I'm rimming

[cosmo smallpiece]

"An upper class man in a punt Fell out as he walked to the front Someone called out to him ""Are you out for a swim?"" He said ""Mind your own business you cսnt"" At the Oxford and Cambridge boat race The Oxford cox covered his face"

[cosmo smallpiece]

"An upper class man in a punt Fell out as he walked to the front Someone called out to him ""Are you out for a swim?"" He said ""Mind your own business you cսnt"" At the Oxford and Cambridge boat race The Oxford cox covered his face"

[Helmut Shown]

A woodsman was chopping a log And sat by his feet was a dog All blood and faeces The dog in five pieces Leaving most onlookers agog An upper class man in a punt Fell out as he walked to the front