New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[HairyHammer]

There once was a chap called Parks In his underpants had big skid marks His body still solid Though he ate too much porridge And His hands were too big to wipe his arse. This fat lady I saw did a fart As her husband choked eating a tart

[Saul Bollox]

"Our next game's away to Villa We don't score so it won't be a thriller. They also wont score, So another bore draw Anther point but a passion killer. There once was a chap called Parks In his underpants had big skid marks"

[,]

A Victoria's Secret model Found religion just like Glenn Hoddle However society Rejected her piety And her earnings amounted to sod all Our next game's away to Villa We don't score so it won't be a thriller

[Helmut Shown]

There was a young lady called Jaq. Whose anus became very slack Not very chic When your arse starts to leak With a big brown stain up your back A Victoria's Secret model Found religion just like Glenn Hoddle

[Saul Bollox]

"At a bus stop in Tottenham Court Road Stood a person of no fixed abode. His clothes were unfit He stank badly of shit,. And looked like a natterjack toad. There was a young lady called Jaq. Whose anus became very slack."

[cosmo smallpiece]

"While listening to Charlie Mingus I fancied doing cunnilingus She said "" I'm on blob"" "" but I'll gobble your knob"" And tickle your balls with me fingers"" At a bus stop in Tottenham Court Road Stood a person of no fixed abode"

[cosmo smallpiece]

"While listening to Charlie Mingus I fancied doing cunnilingus She said "" I'm on blob"" "" but I'll gobble your knob"" And tickle your balls with me fingers"" At a bus stop in Tottenham Court Road Stood a person of no fixed abode"

[Saul Bollox]

"My girlfriend enjoys giving head, On sofa, on chair or in bed On her last boyfriend She chewed his bell-end. Cos she thought it tasted like bread. While listening to Charlie Mingus I fancied doing cunnilingus."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A Ghanaian man from Accra Was ejected from the local bar He'd try to fit in But committed the sin Of shouting out loud ""OK, Yah!"" My girlfriend enjoys giving head, On sofa, on chair or in bed"

[Helmut Shown]

"There once was a chap whom I'd met, Who played with his Meccano set. A girl came by leering At his model engineering It made all her gusset wet A Ghanaian man from Accra Was ejected from the local bar"

[Helmut Shown]

"There once was a chap whom I'd met, Who played with his Meccano set. A girl came by leering At his model engineering It made all her gusset wet A Ghanaian man from Accra Was ejected from the local bar"

[Saul Bollox]

"Meanwhile in a cell at the station I pondered the said masturbation With my knob still erect I did not expect From the filth such vile vituperation. There once was a chap whom I'd met, Who played with his Meccano set."

[cosmo smallpiece]

"In Erith awaiting a bus I had a quick wank without fuss But someone watching me On CCTV Called the police and they said ""come with us"" Meanwhile in a cell at the station I pondered the said masturbation"

[Saul Bollox]

"On the train he wanted a shit But the bog out of order was lit Could not open the door, So he shat on the floor And now the carriage is unfit. In Erith awaiting a bus I had a quick wank without fuss"

[Helmut Shown]

Seems a Portuguese famed for petulance Has already used up his last chance Some people have said That he's gone in the head Or another job offered perchance? On the train he wanted a shit But the bog out of order was lit

[Far East Hammer]

There was a young chap called McVey Washed his arse'ole in a bidet Liked the jet of water Far more than he oughta Each time he'd get carried away Seems a Portuguese famed for petulance Has already used up his last chance

[Saul Bollox]

"n the doctors he took off his kit His bollocks were covered in shit The doctor was blunt: ""You dirty old cunt- I can't stomache the stench you emit. There was a young chap called McVey Washed his arse'ole in a bidet"

[Helmut Shown]

"There was a young girl from Darjeeling, Went out in clothes rather revealing, Her sheer underwear Showed much pubic hair And her labia hardly concealing In the doctors he took off his kit His bollocks were covered in shit"

[Saul Bollox]

"I have heard that Katie Price Shaved her pubes because of the lice But her labia minora, Hangs from the majora And in truth, doesn't look very nice. There was a young girl from Darjeeling, Went out in clothes rather revealing,"

[Helmut Shown]

"There once was an old belted Earl, Was undressing an underaged gIrl But the dirty old louse Returned to the house To vote with Tories, the churl I have heard that Katie Price Shaved her pubes because of the lice"

[Saul Bollox]

"There was a young girl from Milan Got off being dressed as a man In the gents bog she sits Doing long smelly shits, Having first ate a bowl of All Bran. There once was an old belted Earl, Was undressing an underaged girl."

[Helmut Shown]

There was a young man from Verona Who could not get rid of his boner. So he bought some wank mags Of girls having shags Published by the West Ham owner There was a young girl from Milan Got off being dressed as a man

[joe blob]

She'd a penchant for bondage and whipping And would often go skinny dipping. But in her childhood. She was very good And enjoyed hopscotch and skipping. There was a young man from Verona Who could not get rid of his boner.

[Helmut Shown]

"She grimaced and her eyes were misting, Under his weight turning and twisting Her overweight man Pressed her Into the divan It would be less painful getting a fisting She'd a penchant for bondage and whipping And would often go skinny dipping"

[backpass]

A girl from Bromley by Bow Let me lick her big camel toe My lips turned blue and green And looked rather obscene but I stilled looked better the slow-joe