New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[HairyHammer]

"An old homosexual tramp, Was dirty, and scruffy and camp, He would offer his Arse To all men that would pass But no luck, as he stunk of the damp. My balls are on fire he said, As the blood seeped through to his bed"

[Saul Bollox]

"A dirty old man from Venezuela Went into the bog with a sailor, Said the sailor when done: ""well that was good fun,"" And he then went back to his whaler. An old homosexual tramp, Was dirty, and scruffy and camp,"

[Helmut Shown]

Who is next on Celebrity deaths Whos now taking their very last breaths The paedos insist There's a Special Branch list More dead than there were at Macbeth's A dirty old man from Venezuela Went into the bog with a sailor

[Livingstone]

Whilst pushing my kid on a swing I thought of a very odd thing But now Ive forgot My memory is shot See saw's empty my kid is missing Who is next on Celebrity deaths Whos now taking their very last breaths

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A short man thought he'd take a chance, And ask a tall lady if she wanted to dance As he fondled her arse Some wind she did pass Which did not his pleasure enhance Whilst pushing my kid on a swing I thought of a very odd thing"

[HairyHammer]

"There was a woman from Arabia Had a large wart on her labia, Lovers kissed it for fun Though she wanted it gone As the itching drove her to Insania. A short man thought he'd take a chance, And ask a tall lady if she wanted to dance"

[Saul Bollox]

"It's becoming more likely I see That Trump gets the presidency This mad far right cսnt Should have, to be blunt, Funny farm residency. There was a woman from Arabia, Had a large wart on her labia"

[cosmo smallpiece]

"There once was a chappie called Ted, Who craved for a three in a bed. He achieved it one day Playing darts, by the way ""180"" he said. It's becoming more likely I see That Trump gets the presidency"

[Dwight Van Mann]

There once was a cսnt called Trump His barnet was a proper dump He banned the muzzies got elected to office and gave ISIS a right good clump

[Dwight Van Mann]

There once was a cսnt called Trump His barnet was a proper dump He banned the muzzies got elected to office and gave ISIS a right good clump

[Saul Bollox]

"An old boy from Beckenham Junction Had a problem with erectile dysfunction, So he did cunnilingus Or just used his fimgers, And sometimes did both in conjunction. There once was a chappie called Ted, Who craved for a three in a bed."

[Helmut Shown]

Today I'm off to the doc's. I think I've a dose of the pox A sad tale to tell I'm going through hell For entering an old slapper's box An old boy from Beckenham Junction Had a problem with erectile dysfunction

[Saul Bollox]

"My Penis was massively endowed In a dream that made me quite proud. It entered the fanny, Of my children's nanny And she started to cry out aloud. Today I'm off to the doc's. I think I've a dose of the pox."

[HairyHammer]

"I'm not sure if coffee or tea Is better, at breakfast for me Though I do like the taste That a Coffee creates But I hate when I buzz like a bee. My Penis was massively endowed In a dream that made me quite proud."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A young lady enjoyed taking dicks In fair exchange for spondoolicks In the sea she would plunge To clean out her clunge Creating some massive jizz slicks I'm not sure if coffee or tea Is better, at breakfast, for me"

[Far East Hammer]

There was a young man from Wick Who purchased a new car on tick. Thought himself flash Then had a crash Ended up looking a dick A young lady enjoyed taking dicks In fair exchange for spondoolicks

[Saul Bollox]

"Conductor said ""All tickets please!"" I showed mine with consummate ease The conductor recoiled. ""This ticket's been spoiled, The fucking thing's covered with fleas."" There was a young man from Wick Who purchased a new car on tick."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"T'was a cold night and there was a fog, He was cottaging in the town bog But a breeze cleared the air And, to his despair He was noshing a mangy old dog. Conductor said ""All tickets please!"" I showed mine with consummate ease"

[Saul Bollox]

"A man with a very big member, Caused much pain to the opposite gender He could not go wrong As the porn star King Dong But in real life he was a bender. T'was a cold night and there was a fog, He was cottaging in the town bog"

[HairyHammer]

"By a bathroom mirror she sits, Desperately combing out nits She does not know where The bastards got there And to cap it all, she's got the shits. A man with a very big member, Caused much pain to the opposite gender"

[Saul Bollox]

"I'm sat here freezing my ass Awaiting a call from British Gas The ass let out a cry And it fell down to die. I put it in the freezer en masse. By a bathroom mirror she sits, Desperately combing out nits"

[Helmut Shown]

Some Hammers who just hate to lose Cannot help but get the football blues Defeat I can take But not to a snake Like that Levy and his horde of Jews I'm sat here freezing my ass Awaiting a call from British Gas

[HairyHammer]

"Town butcher, H.K Wilberforce Would often sell people dead horse He was sufficiently able For he owned the town stables But His best mares he'd keep for main course . Some Hammers who just hate to lose Cannot help but get the football blues."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"There once was a tight-fisted jew, Wanted to buy only one shoe. So he hacked off a leg With a rusty tent peg And said ""There! Just one foot! That'll do!"" Town butcher, H. K Wilberforce Would often sell people dead horse"

[Saul Bollox]

"Conveniently Janner has died Anything that he's said now denied Townsend, Jackson, Saville, These perverts make me ill Should be stuck in oil and slow fried. There once was a tight-fisted jew, Wanted to buy only one shoe."