New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Saul Bollox]

"There once was an immigrant crowd Who's demands were outrageous...and loud, Free Charlie and Khat, Toilets where you can squat And und'raged brides for them allowed. An African girl caused a scene Acting in a manner obscene"

[HairyHammer]

"It's said Ayatollah Khomeni Went into a bar in Kilkenny He gave the barman a Fig Did a quick Irish Jig Then went to the bog, to spend a penny. An old lady started to scream To a vendor who was selling Ice cream,"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"It's said Ayatollah Khomeni Went into a bar in Kilkenny When questioned on gender Declared ""I'm a bender"" ""And want you to all call me Jenny"". There once was an immigrant crowd Who's demands were outrageous...and loud"

[Saul Bollox]

"A small donkey from Istanbul Had a tummy that was three quarters full, The potential for rhyme, Is not good this time, And I'd say the first two lines were bull. It's said Ayatollah Khomeni Went into a bar in Kilkenny"

[Saul Bollox]

"A small donkey from Istanbul Had a tummy that was three quarters full, The potential for rhyme, Is not good this time, And I'd say the first two lines were bull. It's said Ayatollah Khomeni Went into a bar in Kilkenny"

[HairyHammer]

"There was a Sherpa from Tibet One night had a dream that was wet He was shagging in Nepal A cute Bitch that was tall But awoke, and was humping the vet. A small donkey from Istanbul Had a tummy that was three quarters full,"

[les marteaux]

"'m off for this week's pedicure By pretty young girls, who I'm sure Do a bloody good job Without touching my knob While I have those thoughts most impure. There was a Sherpa from Tibet One night had a dream that was wet."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A fat cabbie from Stamford Hill Got his kippah caught in a cash till. Removal was hard Took an old credit card And greasing with Essence of Dill I'm off for this week's pedicure By pretty young girls, who I'm sure"

[Saul Bollox]

"Does the team photo at Sp*rs seem to you Like looking through a cage at a zoo? The fans also, I think Look like the missing link Big nosed, hairy and ugly too. A fat cabbie from Stamford Hill Got his kippah caught in a cash till."

[Helmut Shown]

"When I see spurs win I feel sick, Their supporters are cunts and quite thick Not allowed to abuse Because they're all Jews On account of Baddiel, fucking prick! Does the team photo at Sp*rs seem to you Like looking through a cage at a zoo?"

[Helmut Shown]

"When I see spurs win I feel sick, Their supporters are cunts and quite thick Not allowed to abuse Because they're all Jews On account of Baddiel, fucking prick! Les the team photo at Sp*rs seem to you Like looking through a cage at a zoo"

[Saul Bollox]

"Arose for a piss from my bed And she's on the bog squeezing her head Quickly I had to think, Went to buss in the sink, But I had a shit in there instead. When I see spurs win I feel sick, Their supporters are cunts and quite thick."

[Helmut Shown]

My young cook just cannot do right She burnt my boiled eggs Monday night But one mustn't grumble When she gives me a tumble With a fanny all slippery and tight Arose for a piss from my bed And she's on the bog squeezing her head

[Mike Oxsaw]

I cannot believe its not a putter An American golfer was heard to utter Just give me the bat I'll quickly pot that And give decent odds - have a flutter. My young cook just cannot do right She burnt my boiled eggs Monday night

[HairyHammer]

"A Mcgonnegal poetic feast There's a rival now from far east He can't write for shit, When he reads Asian's spit As he has the nihilism of a beast. I cannot believe its not a putter An American golfer was heard to utter"

[Saul Bollox]

"A Labrador who loved to lick cats And also enjoyed chasing rats. He has other habits Like playing with rabbits But enjoyed most licking bitches twats. A McGonnegal poetic feast, There's a rival now for Far East"

[HairyHammer]

"There was an old man from Old Ford Decided to go live abroad, Though foreigners he hated Their cheap Alcohol he rated, So he died of liver failure on his tod. A Labrador who loved to lick cats And also enjoyed chasing rats."

[Helmut Shown]

I've got me a Swiss Army knife Reminds me a lot of my wife But you use it one day Then put it away Without acrimony and strife There was an old man from Old Ford Decided to go live abroad

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A Villa suporter from Brum Went to the West End for some bum. When told of the cost He shouted ""Get Lost!' Then cried and ran home to his mum. I've got me a Swiss Army knife Reminds me a lot of my wife"

[Saul Bollox]

"Those Brummies are down for the day Peaky Blinders and really quite gay When you hear them droning, They sound like they're moaning A cuntish accent, i would say. A Villa suporter from Brum Went to the West End for some bum."

[easthambull]

There was an old man called Bob Who expired whilst on the job He died in bliss and the reason for this was choking on menstural blob. Those Brummies are down for the day Peaky Blinders and really quite gay

[Helmut Shown]

"In the Golden Temple, Amritsar, A sikh man prayed for a new car He packed up his bag And stole a new Jag But I don't think he got very far There was an old man called Bob Who expired whilst on the job"

[Saul Bollox]

"The mosque has closed down for the day I've nowhere to go now to pray I'll just have to lurch To the catholic church, It's quite handy, and it's on my way. In the Golden Temple, Amritsar, A sikh man prayed for a new car."

[Helmut Shown]

"A Muslim on a North London street Knelt and bowed at a racist man's feet His candour and grace Earned a kick in the face A lesson learned maybe, retreat? After a buying a new three piece suite Somebody pissed on the seat"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A Muslim on a North London street Knelt and bowed at a racist man's feet, ""Oh! Imam explain"" ""How I can best claim"" ""Those benefits week after week"" The mosque has closed down for the day I've nowhere to go now to pray"