New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Mike Oxsaw]

Far East has now lost his crown Now Hairy is making us frown I think he should peer At the works of Ed Lear And sort out what words to lay down. I went to the market today And had a strange thought on the way

[Helmut Shown]

He pulled it out and started to dance Whilst a girl looked in awe and remarked When round came a copper And noticing his chopper Took him away for his obscene advance Far East has now lost his crown Now Hairy is making us frown

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Hmmm ""Danced"" & Remarked"". Will take a better man than me to make those two rhyme, whatever UK accent I Use. Over to the WHO Limerickinasta for this, I think."

[HairyHammer]

"A young man from near Giggleswick Tied a red ribbon around his dick, He stood erect in a park It was very late and dark With just one lesbian, who was physically sick. He pulled it out and started to dance Whilst a girl looked in awe and remarked ,"

[Saul Bollox]

"When I heard Dimi signed a new deal I confess I let out a small squeal, I was so excited, My undies I shited Our future is rosy I feel. A young man from near Giggleswick Tied a red ribbon around his dick."

[cosmo smallpiece]

"He was riding his old motor scooter, When he started sounding his hooter For the bloke up his arse Was driving too fast Whilst texting on his laptop computer! When I heard Dimi signed a new deal I confess I let out a small squeal"

[Saul Bollox]

"I popped down the shops for a snack And found out that when I got back Some Somali rotters. Had become my squatters They got in through the door at the back. He was riding his old motor scooter, When he started sounding his hooter."

[Saul Bollox]

"I popped down the shops for a snack And found out that when I got back Some Somali rotter Has become my squatters They got in through the door at the back. He was riding his old motor scooter, When he started sounding his hooter."

[Saul Bollox]

"I popped down the shops for a snack And found out that when I got back Some Somali rotter Has become my squatters They got in through the door at the back. He was riding his old motor scooter, When he started sounding his hooter."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"An Indian Londoner last night, Called Talk Sport and was spouting some shite: ""The gods would not choose"" ""To let the Reds lose"" ""For winning all games is their right."" I popped down the shops for a snack And found out that when I got back"

[Saul Bollox]

"A valentine card lay unread As a couple sat angrily in bed, His wife's on sex strike Til House-keeping he'll hike So won't be giving any head. An Indian Londoner last night, Called Talk Sport and was spouting some shite"

[HairyHammer]

"The curse of the Reds, did it vanish ? How many more spells can we banish? It's been 36 years Since we cried happy tears So lets win that FA cup, and give it a polish. A valentine card lay unread As a couple sat angrily in bed,"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"The health secretary, Jeremy Hunt Is causing the nation affront ""No doctor,"" said he ""Is worth more than me"" For sure that the guy is a cսnt. The curse of the Reds, did it vanish? How many more spells can we banish?"

[Helmut Shown]

"In a disco a young girl from Hants, Was too hot so she took off her pants Though fulfilling her wish The place smelt of fish As she stood with an open leg stance The health secretary, Jeremy Hunt Is causing the nation affront"

[Saul Bollox]

"A lady sat holding a rose It's odour so tickled her nose, It was just as well, As it covered the smell. Of the filthy muck between her toes. In a disco a young girl from Hants, Was too hot so she took off her pants."

[HairyHammer]

"Just when Those Liverpool pricks Were thinking of penalty kicks, Ogbanna did soar And With his head he did score And made every red scouser so sick. A lady sat holding a rose It's odour so tickled her nose,"

[HairyHammer]

"Just when Those Liverpool pricks Were thinking of penalty kicks, Ogbanna did soar And With his head he did score And made every red scouser so sick. A lady sat holding a rose It's odour so tickled her nose,"

[Saul Bollox]

"Sometimes a football forum Does nothing to kill boredom, So feeling distraught New trousers I bought But I tried the things on and I tore'em. Just when these Liverpool pricks, Were thinking of penalty kicks."

[Far East Hammer]

"Victimpool, it's always the same. These cunts are never to blame Another minute's silence For the world to do pennance Simply because they lost the game Sometimes a football forum Does nothing to kill boredom"

[Saul Bollox]

"She stood at the corner of the street Not lovely and not too petite Her clothes none too dapper She looked a right slapper, Selling sex and giving a receipt. Victimpool, it's always the same. These cunts are never to blame"

[Helmut Shown]

"Tuesday night we play the scouse, Each one a filthy, thieving louse At court they say ""grief"" Is what makes them a thief To feed their ""poor dying spouse"" She stood at the corner of the street Not lovely and not too petite"

[Saul Bollox]

"You can say I'm wrong or a liar But our worst signing was Kieron Dyer Wond'ring how long it takes, For the next of his ""breaks"". Dreaming of the sick pay he'd acquire. Tuesday night we play the scouse, Each one a filthy, thieving louse."

[Helmut Shown]

"An old fisherman called Mike One day caught an enormous pike. This dirty old geezer Stuck the fish in the freezer Then up.his arse, dirty tyke You can say I'm wrong or a liar But our worst signing was Kieron Dyer"

[Saul Bollox]

"Young girl in a very short skirt Decided that she'd like to flirt, She would fondle your knob, A tit fuck or blow job, But no penetration, it hurt. And old fisherman called Mike One day caught an enormous pike."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"An African girl caused a scene Acting in a manner obscene She'd open her fanny, Now...this is uncanny Out wandered the Bishop of Dean. Young girl in a very short skirt Decided that she'd like to flirt"