New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Far East Hammer]

"There was a young man from Rome Who fell in love with a garden gnome, A narcissist you see Called him his ""mini-me"" Seeing it his mouth would foam My wife recently did flip At dinner I let one rip"

[HairyHammer]

"Penalties at the Theatre of dreams? Not for the away teams it seems, Unless your Manure The ref's never sure, But for them the call always beams. There was a young man from Rome Who fell in love with a garden gnome,"

[Saul Bollox]

"""There must be more time in the day"". Said a frog who was openly gay, This perverted Monsieur, Had a mind like a sewer Picking up lads for rude games to play. Penalties at the Theatre of Dreams? Not for the away team it seems."

[HairyHammer]

"There once was a chap called Bob Who noticed a sore on his knob So smelly and rude He would eat in the nude Not a sore, just some jam, the fat slob. ""There must be more time in the day"". Said a frog who was openly gay,"

[Saul Bollox]

"In a place called Fanny hands lane A horny couple were stuck in the rain While trying to pet, They got soaking wet, They should have taken the train. There once was a chap called Bob Who noticed a sore on his knob"

[HairyHammer]

"A pervert who came from Paris Flashed a girl from a Toyota Yaris, The girl did not mind But her man not so kind In a jam shoved his arm up his arris. In a place called Fanny hands lane A horny couple were stuck in the rain,"

[Saul Bollox]

"There was a fat sloth from Plaistow Had a weird fetish for play doh, Mixed some with grass Shoved it up his arse, Shat it out in a funfair side show. A pervert who came from Paris, Flashed a girl from a Toyota Yaris."

[HairyHammer]

"There was a young man called Damon Who took out a curse with a shaman, Had a selfish wife Who was ruining his life, And now its got worse, she's a daemon. There was a fat sloth from Plaistow Who had a weird fetish for play doh,"

[Saul Bollox]

"I'll soon fall asleep is my hunch As I think I overdid lunch Accompanied of course, By too much of the sauce, Should have stuck with coke and Monster Munch. There was a young man called Damon Who took out a curse with a shaman"

[Far East Hammer]

It will thrill our supporters to bits. If we beat those fucking Manc. shits. Another great result Would be a right insult To dour faced cսnt walrus tits I'll soon fall asleep is my hunch As I think I overdid lunch

[Saul Bollox]

"The Walrus continues to bore How long til he's shown the door? If he saves Sunderland, With his football so bland Keys will say ""Careful what you wish for."" It will thrill our supporters to bits. If we beat those fucking Manc. shits."

[Helmut Shown]

"Next up we've got the scum Manure Their supporters I just can't endure They should hang heads in shame With their knowledge of the game ""In Sir Alex we trust?"" Are you sure? The Walrus continues to bore How long til he's shown the door?"

[Saul Bollox]

"If I stand on tiptoes I can see Into the bedroom of the girl who lives opposite me, I would try to refine Your long second line There's fourteen syllables, you see. Next up we've got the scum Manure Their supporters I just can't endure."

[strong dreams]

"Sometimes Limericks are divine, Like Helmut's Lord Fauntleroy rhyme But I like a verse that starts with a curse I'd write one but I don't have the time If I stand on tiptoes I can see Into the bedroom of the girl who lives opposite me"

[Saul Bollox]

"Sometimes Limericks are divine, Like Helmut's Lord Fauntleroy rhyme"

[Saul Bollox]

"Sometimes Limericks are divine, Like Helmut's Lord Fauntleroy rhyme"

[Saul Bollox]

"Harris, Glitter and Saville All of them mentally ill Michael Jackson, Townsend, The list does not end, But I have to say, not Benny Hill Sometimes a Limericks are divine, Like Helmut's Lord Fauntleroy rhyme"

[Far East Hammer]

"Aussie entertainer Rolf Harris Was stroking a young person's aris'. And took the time To write a rhyme Nothing he does does him embarrass Harris, Glitter and Saville All of them mentally ill"

[Saul Bollox]

"A man who stunk heavily of cheese Walked into a night club in Belize, With a kick and a shout, The bloke was chucked out, By a bouncer a young Lebanese. Aussie entertainer Rolf Harris Was stroking a young person's aris'."

[HairyHammer]

"Sat on the washing machine Getting off by flicking her bean, It just wouldn't wash Her clunge full of slosh, No climax, but a head full of steam. A man who stunk heavily of cheese Walked into a night club in Belize,"

[Helmut Shown]

Lev Nikolayevich Tolstoy In a public bog picked up a boy But in the next trap Not having a crap Jimmy Savile and Lord Fauntleroy Sat on the washing machine Getting off by flicking her bean

[Saul Bollox]

"He thought himself a bit of a wag When shitting in his girlfriend's bag She'd refused to give head. And in anger he said: ""Now that will teach the fucking slag."" Lev Nikolayevich Tolstoy In a public bog picked up a boy"

[Helmut Shown]

"There was a young man called Paul, Whose penis, it's said, was quite small When he got into bed She'd rather have head Even stiff it came to fuckall He thought himself a bit of a wag When shitting in his girlfriend's bag"

[Saul Bollox]

"""Be careful what you wish for"" they said In support of the walrus head, Now the big cսnt has gone, And we have moved on, And the days of hoofball are dead. There was a young man called Paul, Whose penis, it's said, was quite small"

[Helmut Shown]

"A little man started to grass As he felt a sharp pain in his arse, This sort of skullduggery The fuzz using buggery To interrogate, what a farce ""Be careful what you wish for"" they said In support of the walrus head"