New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Helmut Shown]

"There was an old girl called Dora Had boil on her labia minora She didn't give a bean For sexual hygiene And morals from Sodom and Gomorrah All season tickets are sold, so it seems The Chairmen fulfilling their dreams"

[Saul Bollox]

"There was an old lady called Flo Won a grand on a TV show Got a begging letter From bloke who aint met 'er, Gave him all, silly so and so. There was an old girl called Dora Had boil on her labia minora"

[Helmut Shown]

"A midget from Argentina bought a rusty, smashed up Ford Cortina His pulling techniques Meant he only met freaks Should have gone for a Morris Marina There was an old lady called Flo Won a grand on a TV show"

[Helmut Shown]

"A midget from Argentina bought a rusty, smashed up Ford Cortina His pulling techniques Meant he only met freaks Should have gone forva Morris Marina There was an old lady called Flo Won a grand on a TV show"

[keddy]

"In a brothel in downtown Bangkok He was wiping his knob with a sock When in Walked Nige Pearson with a hard on so fearsome The madam of the place died of shock A midget from Argentina bought a rusty, smashed up Ford Cortina"

[Saul Bollox]

"A Spurs fan that I know reckoned His team would do better than second, They played without aplomb, When home to West Brom They choked and their failure beckoned. In a brothel in downtown Bangkok He was wiping his knob with a sock"

[,]

There was an old fella called Eddy Who couldn't walk straight or steady His cut and paste was done in haste He was better off cuddling his teddy A Spurs fan that I know reckoned His team would do better than second

[keddy]

There was a young man from Leicester A referee he decided to pester.... A red card was flashed but with a forearm smash the official was laid to rest there There was an old fella called Eddie who couldn't walk straight or steady

[Noah]

"Left her drawers on the floor one day, And by themselves they went away. The colour of the gusset Was claret and russet So the flies they flew them away. There was a young man from Leicester A referee he decided to pester...."

[Noah]

"Left her drawers on the floor one day, And by themselves they went away. The colour of the gusset Was claret and russet So the flies they flew them away. There was a young man from Leicester A referee he decided to pester...."

[Saul Bollox]

"There was an old fella called Fred who couldn't get out of his bed, Too much adipose tissue Was his main issue, He ate far too much, now he's dead. Left her drawers on the floor one day, And by themselves they went away."

[keddy]

"A young evangelist out preaching Saw a cute girl and dreamt of sinning I'm a Witness Jehovah now kindly bend over been knocking all day, now I'm grinning There was an old fella called Fred who couldn't get out of his bed"

[keddy]

"A young evangelist out preaching Saw a cute girl and dreamt of sinning I'm a Witness Jehovah now kindly bend over been knocking all day, now I'm grinning There was a old fella called Fred who couldn't get out of his bed"

[Far East Hammer]

"A German kerb crawler named Fritz Picked up a young girl with big tits She also had big hands And used to be called Hans But had had removed her ""boy bits"" A young evangelist out preaching Saw a cute girl and dreamt of sinning"

[Saul Bollox]

"An explorer from the Rhondda Face to face with an anaconda, Ran behind the bookshelf, Where she shit herself, And drove home the next day in a Honda A German kerb crawler named Fritz Picked up a young girl with big tits"

[Saul Bollox]

"There was an old Bint in a frock who decided to take on a croc To win, she did strive, but was eaten alive, Except for a foot in a sock. A German kerb crawler named Fritz Picked up a young girl with big tits"

[Far East Hammer]

There was an old Bint in a frock who decided to take on a croc The vicious old hag Used her great hand bag And thereafter a deadly neck-lock An explorer from the Rhondda Face to face with an anaconda

[keddy]

I'm getting pissed off with referees Are they on under-the-counter fees!? brown paper packets were found in their jackets all paid for by Triads and me!

[keddy]

"A Junior Doctor from Fife Decided to take his own life he tried 12 bore shooting hanging, self booting but ended up killing his wife There was an old Bint in a frock who decided to take on a croc"

[Far East Hammer]

A Junior Doctor from Fife Decided to take his own life Then Jeremy Hunt Labelled him a cսnt For increasing the minister's strife I'm getting pissed off with referees Are they on under-the-counter fees!?

[HairyHammer]

"Mauricio Pochettino Couldn't drink his cappuccino With his players all down And many spuds frowns Thought sod this, I'm off on a beano. A Junior Doctor from Fife Decided to take his own life"

[keddy]

"An old working Doris called Mabel, In the gutter once laid a cable a passer by shouted as she struggled and pouted 'I have issues you know, I'm not able!' Mauricio Pochettino couldn't drink his cuppiccino"

[keddy]

"An old working Doris called Mabel, In the gutter once laid a cable a passer by shouted as she struggled and pouted I have issues you, I'm not able! Mauricio Pochettino couldn't drink his cuppiccino"

[Saul Bollox]

"I believe it's time to start moaning It is after all Monday morning, But when your retired You feel more inspired, To avoid the old woman's droning. I know, it's pathetic An old working Doris called Mabel, In the gutter once laid a cable"

[Far East Hammer]

I saw a lady of perfection Who gave a throbbing erection She was just the job A silky smooth gob Though her big hands raised suspicion I believe it's time to start moaning It is after all Monday morning