New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[cosmo smallpiece]

"A lovely young woman called Esther Mitty Sucked off every last player of Leicester City, As limericks go This is shit, don't ya know And it won't be your last, more's the pity With 3 games to go who'd have thought The top 4 was still being sought"

[cosmo smallpiece]

"A lovely young woman called Esther Mitty Sucked off every last player of Leicester City, As limericks go This is shit, don't ya know And it won't be your last, more's the pity With 3 games to go who'd have thought The top 4 was still being sought"

[HairyHammer]

"I picked up a stunner called Joy Turned out to be a lady-boy I couldn't believe What was hidden up her sleeve That my small bullet refused to deploy. A lovely young woman called Esther Mitty Sucked off every last player of Leicester City,"

[Saul Bollox]

"There was a big bird from Brum Who had an enormous thumb, The tightness of fit Means that she uses it, To pleasure her fanny or bum. I picked up a stunner called Joy, Turned out to be a lady-boy."

[keddy]

* There was a big bird from Brum who had an enormous thumb

[keddy]

"So it's West Brom 0 West Ham 3, Now this weekend we'll be happy though knockers of Mark Will continue to bark 'Cos he only got 2 not 3 There was big bird from Brum Who had an enormous thumb"

[Saul Bollox]

"There was a young man from Kent Who decided to live in a tent, Thought he'd co-habit, With a young man named Pitt But found out too late that he was bent.. So it's West Brom 0 West Ham 3, Now this weekend we'll be happy"

[keddy]

"A cute midget who loved Judi Dench Approached her, his arse tightly clenched fearing rejection at his wardrobe selection He left all his clothes on the bench There was a young man from Kent who decided to live in a tent"

[HairyHammer]

"A cute midget who loved Judi Dench Approached her, his arse tightly clenched"

[afan]

There was an old mod from Woking who went into the pub for a soaking They turned up the Jam 'Your futures a Clam ' spent the rest of the afternoon choking.

[keddy]

"An African tribesman, a Masai, Was given his first shepherd's pie He chewed on the mince Then realized and winced There's a herder in here just like I There was an old mod from Woking who went into a pub for a soaking"

[Saul Bollox]

"A Misogynist with a tiny tool By a woman was kicked like a mule, Ashamed, being silly, Of his undersized willy, Declined treatment and died, what a fool. An African tribesman, a Masai, Was given his first shepherd's pie"

[Alfie]

Tits Eggs Beef Legs Boast Vaunt Reflection Taunt Milk Stilts Vomit Quilts

[Alfie]

Tits Eggs Beef Legs Boast Vaunt Reflection Taunt Milk Stilts Vomit Quilts

[HairyHammer]

"A young secretary called Brenda Whose best mate was the office bender, He'd mince and joke away Kissing Brenda's ass all day Yet sneakily mixed shit up like a blender. A Misogynist with a tiny tool By a woman was kicked like a mule"

[Saul Bollox]

"A farmer, whilst digging a ditch Did, in his left side, get a stitch, Said ""This had work is fraught So went online and bought. A digger recommended by Which. A young secretary called Brenda Whose best mate was the office bender."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A man of sorrow called Lawro thought of a frock he could borrow He tried on them all And most were too small So he said ""I will choose one tomorrow"" A farmer, whilst digging a ditch Did, in his left side, get a stitch"

[keddy]

The young daughter of our Vicar's Works modelling frilly knickers Walking the runway she thought of a fun way of exposing her gash with high kickers A man of sorrow called Lawro thought of a frock he could borrow

[Saul Bollox]

"A whore bemoaned her labia Nothing was any scabbier It's painful to piss As she'd caught syphilis, From a geezer in Saudi Arabia. The young daughter of our Vicar's Works modelling frilly knickers"

[Far East Hammer]

A man from Newcastle on Tyne Stole drawers from his neighbour's clothes' line His morality iffy He was gone in a jiffy So soon of him there was no sign A whore bemoaned her labia Nothing was any scabbier

[Saul Bollox]

"A man who would dance in the rain Still stuck in the closet with much pain, And daily with dread, I come back to this thread, What the fuck for? I must be insane A man from Newcastle on Tyne Stole drawers from his neighbour's clothes' line"

[HairyHammer]

A young girl from Reykjavik Liked a man with a large girth dick It was not for the sex But for battering her ex A woman beating cowardly prick. A man who would dance in the rain Still stuck in the closet with much pain

[Helmut Shown]

"A frustrated housewife from Swanage At the butcher's eyed a big sausage ""That's too flaccid for me Time for plan B"" So she held the poor butcher hostage A young girl from Reykjavik Liked a man with a large girth dick"

[Far East Hammer]

A west-end rent boy called Jules Liked sucking off gentlemen's tools There was a Tory MP Who he would often see The hypocrite breaking his own rules A frustrated housewife from Swanage At the butcher's eyed a big sausage

[Saul Bollox]

"All season tickets are sold, so it seems The Chairmen fulfilling their dreams, So here is the rub, We're now a big club Despite Levy's devious schemes, A west-end rent boy called Jules Liked sucking off gentlemen's tools"