New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[strong dreams]

A tory MP called Horace Caught with pants down with a Doris Shed been on all fours He'd smashed her back doors Then finished his Castlemain Four X I'm up for a slap and a tickle But my nature is really quite fickle

[Saul Bollox]

"The money's not mine - I don't care Just pay the EU in their lair, In return for taxation? Human rights legislation And some think it just isn't fair. A tory MP called Horace Caught with pants down with a Doris"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A man with a European dream Hated the right wing anti Europe team ""Just feed me instructions"" ""You won't get no ructions"" ""To think for myself is obscene."" The money's not mine - I don't care Just pay the EU in their lair"

[HairyHammer]

In a hotel room in Singapore There was a loud knock on the door A Buddha like man With a bright golden tan Was collecting money for the poor. A man with a European dream Hated the right wing anti Europe team

[HairyHammer]

In a hotel room in Singapore There was a loud knock on the door A Buddha like man With a bright golden tan Was collecting money for the poor. A man with a European dream Hated the right wing anti Europe team

[Saul Bollox]

"My railway is running just fine No ""Wrong kind of snow"" on the line, Facing me, a young flirt, In a short mini skirt That can see right up, it's divine. In a hotel room in Singapore There was a loud knock on the door."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"In the gallery watching the art, The guide dropped a silent wet fart It was, just by chance, In the style ""Renaissance"" And smelt like a haywain, or cart. My railway is running just fine No ""Wrong kind of snow"" on the line"

[Saul Bollox]

"A bonnie young lass from Dunkirk Had much difficulty in finding some work Failed an interview 'Cos of her tattoo, As the interviewer was a berk. In the gallery watching the art, The guide dropped a silent wet fart"

[HairyHammer]

"Lots of tits arses and pubic hair Are Da vinci's Demons main fare Was he sick in his head Creating pictures of dread Or a gifted troll, who just didn't care. A bonnie young lass from Dunkirk Had much difficulty in finding some work"

[Saul Bollox]

"A young man from Maida Vale Staggered home from a night on the ale He looked an urchin, In a coat of sheepskin, But was picked up by Gareth Bale. Lots of tits arses and pubic hair. Are Da Vinci's Demons main fare"

[Helmut Shown]

"When I split up with my old flame, She went off to work on the game. Now for a few bob She'll suck on your knob If only I'd known such a shame A young man from Maida Vale Staggered home from a night on the ale"

[Saul Bollox]

"Most on here will be scorning Now Liverpool are back into mourning. Their thug fans are fighting, But journos aren't writing, Criticisms of them in the morning. When I split up with my old flame, She went off to work on the game."

[Helmut Shown]

"There was a young lady from Stowe Quite famous for giving a blow She'd take out your junk And swallow your spunk And not bat an eyelid, don't ya know Most on here will be scorning Now Liverpool are back into mourning"

[Far East Hammer]

"Unless manure, scouse or the yids Your England hopes will hit the skids. Hodgson's a clown Soon to fall down At the Euros we'll perform like flids There was a young lady from Stowe Quite famous for giving a blow"

[Saul Bollox]

"n the backseat of a car sat Rita Waiting for her boyfriend to eat her. He parted her fringe, Then licked out her minge It scratched cos he'd eaten ryvita. Unless manure, scouse or the yiids Your England hopes will hit the skids."

[Helmut Shown]

"In a table of the top 8 teams West Ham are top, so it seems Only stood on your head When the table is read Or perhaps somewhere in your dreams In the backseat of a car sat Rita Waiting for her boyfriend to eat her"

[Alfie]

"Once i was touched Rougly tuftily crotch - Grabbed by a bird scarer Straw - clad carrot nosed wearer. Id gone into the field Geography projec expecting to yield Data: unsuspecting a potato Headed scarecrow to assail me. Virgin untilled furrow, my young Cabbages clacked As he crow scare attacked me. Birds fleeing my screams promptly. Do not trust these field Dwelling errants, wurzel stuffed Circling curious bird deterrents. They are deviant, dire, in dark field expectant. Behind hedgerows poised Mute straw death, resident."

[Saul Bollox]

"Though the cunts in the press still deride Slav has given back all our pride Is it Sam Allardyce Football that aint nice Or skill, flair, passion and more beside. In a table of the top 8 teams West Ham are top, so it seems"

[Helmut Shown]

"It's said that Louis Mountbatten, Was sucked off each week by a slattern As she'd bob Up and down on his knob It resembled the planet Saturn Though the cunts in the press still deride Slav has given back all our pride"

[Saul Bollox]

"It is rumoured that Princess Anne Likes to get an all over tan And, it would seem, She uses fake cream Applied by an African man. It's said that Louis Mountbatten, Was sucked off each week by a slattern"

[Helmut Shown]

"George Michael went to the New Den, On the lookout for likely young men. But even he had to pass None of them wipe their arse He won't go back there again It is rumoured that Princess Anne Likes to get an all over tan"

[Saul Bollox]

"A youngster from Nicaragua Was attacked in the bush by a jaguar. Bite marks on his bum He cried to his mum Who told him ""Oh what a fag you are!"" George Michael went to the New Den, On the lookout for likely young men."

[Helmut Shown]

There was an old man from West Ham. Said we should bring back Big Fat Sam. I think I would venture He had senile dementia He thinks he's the king of Siam A youngster from Nicaragua Was attacked in the bush by a jaguar

[Saul Bollox]

"A great dreamer from Azerbaijan Thought democracy a quite noble plan, But the Azeri pricks Voted for Islamics It's a nightmare now for this man. There was an old man from West Ham. Said we should bring back Big Fat Sam."

[HairyHammer]

There was a young girl called Fabia Had a very low hanging Labia No man would go near For It gave them such fear So she left on a boat to Arabia. A great dreamer from Azerbaijan Thought democracy a quite noble plan