New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[les marteaux]

"I bought something great in the sale, A state of the art fake female, There is nothing finer, Than the working vagina, Which tastes and smells of real ale. In a new brothel near to Kirklees They've reduced rates for OAPs"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A J1had1 bride is now dead These cunts must be soft in the head The stupid young whore Sure showed us the score But I bet she still warms old Abdul's bed. I bought something great in the sale, A state of the art fake female"

[Helmut Shown]

A young English lady called Sally. Dropped her drawers for a bloke in Death Valley Her usual trick Was to suck a man's dick Round the back of a pub in an alley A J1had1 bride is now dead These cunts must be soft in the head

[Helmut Shown]

A young English lady called Sally. Dropped her drawers for a bloke in Death Valley Her usual trick Was to suck a man's dick Round the back of a pub in an alley A J1had1 bride is now dead These cunts must be soft in the head

[les marteaux]

"I think I'll have salad for lunch Something with a bit of a crunch And later for me, I'll have kippers for tea With peppers to give it some punch. A young English lady called Sally. Dropped her drawers for a bloke in Death Valley"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A flat-chested girl from Peking, From her muff produced flags on a string Then, just for a laugh Whipped out a flagstaff Which made the act go with a swing I think I'll have salad for lunch Something with a bit of a crunch"

[les marteaux]

"As she put the milk bottles out She bent over flashing her clout, It just wasn't right A disgusting sight. And it smelled like a rotting old trout. A flat-chested girl from Peking, From her muff produced flags on a string"

[Helmut Shown]

"A stewardess on Air Garoda, Suffered from bad body odour. You wouldn't want to kiss As the smell of stale piss And the spunk of the last bloke that rode 'er As she put the milk bottles out She bent over flashing her clout"

[Saul Bollox]

"He said ""You've got nothing to fear,"" ""I've sandwiches, crisps and a beer,"" I too have lemon barley And a fair bit of charlie, Well enough for fishing at Dobbs Weir.. A stewardess on Air Garoda, Suffered from bad body odour."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"There once was a paddy called Lynch, Ran a brothel charging by the inch. A punter named Saul Was paying fuck all Or, tuppence, erect, at a pinch He said ""You've got nothing to fear,"" ""I've sandwiches, crisps and a beer,"""

[Saul Bollox]

"As his missus was sat on the couch He walked through in a posing pouch, She sat up in shock, Threw something at his cock, That hit it, and the he said ""ouch!"". There once was a paddy called Lynch, Ran a brothel charging by the inch."

[Helmut Shown]

I was watching a new french film noir Where a man went into a pissoire Attempting discreet He pissed on his feet These french films are fucking bizarre As his missus was sat on the couch He walked through in a posing pouch

[joe blob]

There was a young man called Keith Put his knob through the end of his sheath He now feels a prat As he's stuck with a brat In a council house in Cowdenbeath. I was watching a new french film noir Where a man went into a pissoire

[Helmut Shown]

There once was a German called Zeiss. Was desperate to go for a scheiß He was brought to his knees He'd had a Chinese And it was peppered with a lot of flied lice There was a young man called Keith Put his knob through the end of his sheath

[joe blob]

There once was a German called Zeiss. Was desperate to go for a scheiß

[joe blob]

"First day in my very first job I opened my cavernous gob & ate lots of stuff , I then took some snuff, And my new boss gave me a blow job."

[joe blob]

"On Canvey have you heard the news? They're moving in orthodox Jews, A right bunch of prats, Who wear silly hats, And have rather odd religious views.. There once was a German called Zeiss. Was desperate to go for a scheiß"

[Mike Oxsaw]

On Canvey have you heard the news? They're moving in orthodox Jews The rumour is true The next flood is due - That lot don't tolerate queues. First day in my very first job I opened my cavernous gob

[Helmut Shown]

I looked in my wallet and saw No money - I needed some more In my bank there's no cash No night on the lash Not enough for a cheap Thailand whore On Canvey have you heard the news? They're moving in orthodox Jews

[Mike Oxsaw]

A mishap whilst having a pee Saw me end up in A and E An electric shock Shot straight up my cock So that's me now: AC/DC. I looked in my wallet and saw No money - I needed some more

[Far East Hammer]

"On westhamonline I've read it. That bloke Andy Carroll is shit, Though one poster says Noble Can barely even hobble Though few say Sam was a good fit A mishap whilst having a pee Saw me end up in A and E"

[joe blob]

"A feisty young maid from Brazil Said swallowing made her quite ill So put up with it. ""You'll only get spit, With no discount, so you know the drill."" On westhamonline I've read it. That bloke Andy Carroll is shit,"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A jihadist from near to Trieste Put on his suicide vest. Thinks"" ""With all this Semtex"" ""I'm bound to get sex"" ""Not done it before,"" he confessed. A feisty young maid from Brazil Said swallowing made her quite ill"

[joe blob]

"A Welshman round the farmyard would creep With the hope of trapping a sheep But was caught in a sty, And given a black eye, By none other than Little Bo Peep. A jihadist from near to Trieste Put on his suicide vest."

[joe blob]

"A Welshman round the farmyard would creep With the hope of trapping a sheep But was caught in a sty, And given a black eye, By none other than Little Bo Peep. A jihadist from near to Trieste Put on his suicide vest."