New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[HairyHammer]

Newsreader Naga Munchetty Was eating a bowl of spaghetti She fell in a trance And started to dance So awoke feeling hot and sweaty. A Chelsea fan looking tanned Held some celery aloft in his hand

[Saul Bollox]

"A Man United supporter was sad, having witnessed a slaughter This game was a mess I only wan't success Now go back to Surrey, I oughta Newsreader Naga Munchetty Was eating a bowl of spaghetti"

[,]

"Whilst taking my stroll in the morn I saw something strange, quite forlorn a Boleyn remoaner was getting a boner cos' he saw some empty seats A Man United supporter was sad, having witnessed a slaughter"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Leaving games early some arse'oles, Always miss the last minute goals They call themselves fans? A few lifetime bans Will help educate these poor souls Whilst taking my stroll in the morn I saw something strange, quite forlorn"

[Saul Bollox]

"I travel in hope once again as I catch the Stratford train Now on my way home And I am not alone Thinking nearly two points down the drain. Leaving games early some arse'oles, Always miss the last minute goals"

[Helmut Shown]

That thread on the EU goes on. What will we all do when it's gone? I think you'll be finding more effing and blinding from the Alf Garnett echelon I travel in hope once again as I catch the Stratford train

[Mike Oxsaw]

An indian girl called Sunita Joined the circus as a fire-eater She's drink gasoline For her crowd-warming scene: Acting as a paraffin heater That thread on the EU goes on. What will we all do when it's gone?

[Saul Bollox]

The Mackems are coming to town Will it be us or them going down To predict I am loathe 'Cos it could be us both Or maybe up the table we'll soar. An indian girl called Sunita Joined the circus as a fire-eater

[Helmut Shown]

A vid that I'd surely pay for Involves a political whore But if you make too much noise About underaged boys Special Branch see you talk no more The Mackems are coming to town Will it be us or them going down

[Mike Oxsaw]

"In a whore house quite near to Walsall You can fuck through a hole in the wall If you pay cash up front They give you a cսnt. If not, it's some bender called Saul. A vid that I'd surely pay for Involves a political whore"

[Saul Bollox]

"An old tramp just didn't know why They thought him a fireworks night Guy They left by him a tin To put coppers in, He collected enough for a pie. In a whore house quite near to Walsall You can fuck through a hole in the wall"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"For young boys a pervert would seek, Especially in Bob-aJob week. They'd DYB and they'd DOB Then suck on his knob At which he'd give out a small squeak. An old tramp just didn't know why They thought him a fireworks night Guy"

[Saul Bollox]

"The vicar from the local church Hit the young choirboys with the birch, ""You must have discipline "" He would say with a grin, ""And I'm doing this for my research."" For young boys a pervert would seek, Especially in Bob-aJob week."

[Helmut Shown]

My neighbour tried to shoot some porn In the middle of his front lawn The girl from next door Tied up on the floor And two old boys with the horn The vicar from the local church Hit the young choirboys with the birch

[Far East Hammer]

A WHO poster from Sittingbourne Was banned for posting links to porn Behold a new user name Leading to more of the same And our duped modes all forlorn My neighbour tried to shoot some porn In the middle of his front lawn

[Far East Hammer]

A WHO poster from Sittingbourne Was banned for posting links to porn Behold a new user name Leading to more of the same And our duped modes all forlorn My neighbour tried to shoot some porn In the middle of his front lawn

[Saul Bollox]

"n a brothel in the worst part of Cairo A whore brought herself off with a biro The egyptian munter Did it for a rich punter, Ex Vice President Agnew (Spiro). A WHO poster from Sittingbourne Was banned for posting links to porn"

[Helmut Shown]

The copper rolled up to my drum He claimed I was just filthy scum My name was besmirched When for drugs I was searched By putting his finger up my bum In a brothel in the worst part of Cairo A whore brought herself off with a biro

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Shagging my neighbour on the floor As my missus walks through the door She said ""Dear, oh dear!"" ""My husband is queer!"" The neighbour, he screamed ""Give me more!!"" The copper rolled up to my drum He claimed I was just filthy scum"

[Far East Hammer]

"My neighbour popped in for a chat I said ""Shut up and show me your twat."" She got in a huff But still bared her muff Now guess what happened after that! Shagging my neighbour on the floor As my missus walks through the door"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"This thread has again raised it's head, I felt sure that now it was dead. It often gets missed When posters are pissed Or just about ready for bed, My neighbour popped in for a chat I said ""Shut up and show me your twat."""

[Saul Bollox]

"A Young Tory in Westminster Thought himself a well cool jester, But now years of young boys, Booze, drugs and sex toys It's said he looks like Uncle Fester. This thread has again raised it's head, I felt sure that now it was dead."

[Far East Hammer]

I've heard of some girls who will shag For free...if you give them a fag Best wear some protection To avoid infection And cover their face with a bag A Young Tory in Westminster Thought himself a well cool jester

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Next week I'll visit Narayanganj Where it's doubtful I'll get any flange And, given the news The girls will refuse 'cos I've just been di'gnosed with the mange I've heard of some girls who will shag For free...if you give them a fag"

[Far East Hammer]

After watching some hardcore porn He approached his dog with the horn Sensing something awry The pooch let out a cry And ran well away until dawn Next week I'll visit Narayanganj Where it's doubtful I'll get any flange