New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[HairyHammer]

"The septics have elected a chap, In a whistle and a baseball cap A Misogynist disgrace With a bright orange face Who most Mexicans so want to slap. A man who felt life was a pain And decided to go live in Spain"

[Saul Bollox]

"The ""know-alls"" have right got the hump. First Leicester, then Brexit. Now Trump. They sing the same song, And yet get it wrong, I'm bored, so I'm off for a dump. The septics have elected a chap, In a whistle and a baseball cap"

[Saul Bollox]

"The ""know-alls"" have right got the hump. First Leicester, then Brexit. Now Trump. They sing the same song, And yet get it wrong, I'm bored, so I'm off for a dump. The septics have elected a chap, In a whistle and a baseball cap"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"It would seem we can't win at home We're suffering ""new ground syndrome"" Still...tourists can come To our shiny new drum Say Brady, and Gold, and some gnome. The ""know-alls"" have right got the hump. First Leicester, then Brexit. Now Trump."

[Helmut Shown]

"Donald Trump is the new President And Mexico must now pay the rent He'll build a big wall That'll do fuck all And all with electoral consent It would seem we can't win at home We're suffering ""new ground syndrome"""

[HairyHammer]

"TV pundit Jamie Redknapp, Is famous for talking such crap Yet with a big cheesy grin He told the world Trump would win Now he's seen as a quite clever chap. Donald Trump is the new President And Mexico must now pay the rent"

[Saul Bollox]

"He may have looked good in plus fours Underneath he wore women's drawers. And his penchant, I fear Taking it up the rear, A fact that his missus deplores. TV pundit Jamie Redknapp, Is famous for talking such crap."

[Helmut Shown]

"Sermonising from the pulpit He desperately needed to shit He crept down to the crypt His undies he stripped If the bishop found out, he have a fit He may have looked good in plus fours Underneath he wore women's drawers"

[Saul Bollox]

"We're all on the bus bound for hell Conductor, come on ring dat bell When inside the gates, I shall meet all my mates And Hitler and Stalin as well. Sermonising from the pulpit. He desperately needed to shit"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"By the girl's school Mr. Gough, Sat in his car wanking off At the side of the road He emptied his load Some jizz on the street was enough. We're all on the bus bound for hell Conductor, come on ring dat bell"

[Saul Bollox]

"I once knew a woman called Hillary Whose record is now being pilloried One has to confess She looks worse for the stress Last night she burst a capillary. By the girl's school Mr. Gough, Sat in his car wanking off"

[Hermit Road]

"I fancy a class of good ale But round here there is none for sale cos I live in Mecca, Which is no place to neck a Tall beer unless you want to wail. I once knew a woman called Hillary Whose record is now being pilloried"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"There once was a big furry duck Who stuck his head in a gate and got stuck Now, I know I would fail To not end this tale But I can't, so...what rotten bad luck I fancy a class of good ale But round here there is none for sale"

[HairyHammer]

An Italian lad called Renato Had ambitions to be a castrato He gave it a try But his notes were not high Yet he had an amazing vibrato. There once was a big furry duck Who stuck his head in a gate and got stuck

[Saul Bollox]

"I'm told it is best I ""go green"" But I'm not, to be true, all that keen, It's a bit of a mare Dying my pubic hair, Maybe orange like a tangerine. An Italian lad called Renato Had ambitions to be a castrato"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A gorilla at Regents Park zoo Was imprisoned but what could he do Could manage Chelsea, Or United, maybe, Or better, just squat down and poo. I'm told it is best I ""go green"" But I'm not, to be true, all that keen"

[cosmo smallpiece]

"A young prostitute called Ludmilla, Had a punter who played for the Villa He had quite a poker That Nige Reo Coker In fact he was frightened he'd kill 'er A gorilla at Regents Park zoo Was imprisoned but what could he do"

[Saul Bollox]

"I never envisaged I could Get such a big throbbing great wood, I am going quite barmy For Lucy Verasamy, And don't care if the weather's not good. A young prostitute called Ludmilla, Had a punter who played for the Villa"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"There was a young man from Hants. When farting he shit in his pants But people could tell, From the odorous smell His heart lay near Paris, in France. I never envisaged I could Get such a big throbbing great wood"

[Saul Bollox]

"He was becalmed while sailing his boat His only company, a goat He found it divine, When he grabbed the hircine And inserted his knob down it's throat. There was a young man from Hants. When farting he shit in his pants"

[Helmut Shown]

"There was a young man from Rheims Had an extra testicle it seems It gave extra fizz When he squirted his jizz But embarrassing after a wet dream He was becalmed while sailing his boat His only company, a goat"

[joe blob]

"The missus was in a right flap After I'd done a massive crap She had an outburst: ""Shoulda let me go first"" Wouldn't stop so I gave her a slap. There was a young man from Rheims Had an extra testicle it seems"

[Far East Hammer]

It's said the average fan of Stoke Is an ignorant and uncouth bloke Thinks Shawcross has class Likes birds with big arse Doesn't realise his club is a joke The missus was in a right flap After I'd done a massive crap

[Far East Hammer]

It's said the average fan of Stoke Is an ignorant and uncouth bloke Thinks Shawcross has class Likes birds with big arse Doesn't realise his club is a joke The missus was in a right flap After I'd done a massive crap

[joe blob]

"So, FIFA's approach to the Poppy Shows thinking that really is sloppy All these crooked shits, Pand'ring to Micks and Fritz, No wonder our team's feeling stroppy. It's said the average fan of Stoke Is an ignorant and uncouth bloke"