New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[joe blob]

"The young girl who lives down the way, Keeps asking ""Do I want to play?"" She looked so divine I could not decline, So I beat her at chess yesterday. Down my road there lived an Albanian Claims he was abducted by an alien"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"There was a young lady called ZoÔøΩ Who charged me ten quid for a blowy Right there in the park! Thank god it was dark, Or else it would have been rather ""showy"". The young girl who lives down the way, Keeps asking ""Do I want to play?"""

[joe blob]

"I fancy a drink. A beer or some wine? Or whiskey - now that would be fine. And when I'm pissed I'll give my bird a fist, I'm sure she will think that divine. There was a young lady called Zoë Who charged me ten quid for a blowy"

[Mike Oxsaw]

His bowels were giving him grief Had to wipe his arse on a leaf It took him a while In the vegetable aisle But cabbages gave him relief. I fancy a drink. A beer or some wine? Or whiskey - now that would be fine.

[Helmut Shown]

There was a young slapper called Barbara For a dildo used a candelabra In a satanic mass She ploughed her crevasse It all seems pretty macabre His bowels were giving him grief Had to wipe his arse on a leaf

[Saul Bollox]

"It's Monday, the week has begun, I'm really expecting some fun... But to start off the week, And get me at my peak A Richard the third must be done. There was a young slapper called Barbara For a dildo used a candelabra"

[Saul Bollox]

"It's Monday, the week has begun, I'm really expecting some fun... But to start off the week, And get me at my peak A Richard the third must be done. There was a young slapper called Barbara For a dildo used a candelabra"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"An Iranian girl called Feroze Once opened her legs but she froze For out popped a monk All covered in spunk Who gave her a punch on the nose. It's Monday, the week has begun, I'm really expecting some fun..."

[Saul Bollox]

Theresa May thought Nigel Farage Was a cock that should never take charge And the same of Trump Whom she thought a big chump Now both the cunts giving it large. An Iranian girl called Feroze Once opened her legs but she froze

[HairyHammer]

A young lady from the town of Oral Liked sex that was anything but normal In a lift or a Plane A bus or train Always anal as her Vagina would be formal. Theresa May thought Nigel Farage Was a cock that should never take charge

[Far East Hammer]

A Chinese girl with flat tits Gave hand jobs wearing her mitts Although it would chafe She thought it more safe Than direct contact with her zits A young lady from the town of Oral Liked sex that was anything but normal

[les marteaux]

"So, more from this coil they do shuffle, For now we have lost Leon Russell. He had a heart attack, When licking the crack, Of a Doris wearing a bustle. A Chinese girl with flat tits Gave hand jobs wearing her mitts ."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"To a brothel in central Skegness A man came wearing muslim dress. ""We only take pork"" ""You absolute dork"" ""Now, fuck off you Islamic mess!"". So, more from this coil they do shuffle, For now we have lost Leon Russell."

[les marteaux]

"Trump gaining power is a drama Will he better the work of Obama? A far right wing nutter, Who appeals to the gutter, And grabbing birds cunts,what a charmer? To a brothel in central Skegness A man came wearing muslim dress."

[,]

They said that Hillary just couldn't lose To a man that wasn't Ted Cruz then her poll ratings slump she loses to Trump I expect she'll be hitting the booze Trump gaining power is a drama will he better the work of Obama?

[Spandex Sidney]

"I've got to admit, I'm a flirt I've pulled me a new bit of skirt But now I'm Commander in Chief They will give be some grief If over her dress I do spurt They said that Hillary just couldn't lose To a man that wasn't Ted Cruz"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"The newsagent gave me dirty looks, When I read his top shelf books. But I just had the need To unload my seed I'm perverted, not one of them crooks. I've got to admit, I'm a flirt I've pulled me a new bit of skirt"

[Saul Bollox]

"A dirty tramp pulled out his cock Which left a lady passing in shock, She could not believe. And sighed with a heave Twas was the vicar of her local flock. The newsagent gave me dirty looks, When I read his top shelf books."

[HairyHammer]

Blackbeard the pirate it's said Took Jim the cabin boy to his bed As he bent to undress Blackbeard felt some distress Shrieking boy your cocks caused me bloodshed. A dirty tramp pulled out his cock Which left a lady passing in shock

[Helmut Shown]

Last night I caught my neighbour Mike Sniffing the seat of my wife's bike He caught the scent Of an incontinent Strange that its something he'd like Blackbeard the pirate it's said Took Jim the cabin boy to his bed

[Saul Bollox]

"I want to go meet my girl, Lisa But to see her I must get a visa, The Ghana embassy, Is a nightmare for me, But I must go if I want to please 'er. Last night I caught my neighbour Mike Sniffing the seat of my wife's bike"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A young lady from Frinton on Sea, A cheap hand-job she once offered me ""By the crossing gates"", ""And bring all your mates"" ""Then I'll do the second one free"". I want to go meet my girl, Lisa But to see her I must get a visa"

[Saul Bollox]

"The coming few months may be strange. Oh no! Run away! Here comes change! The changes in store, Help the poor to stay poor While the bankers the public shortchange. A young lady from Frinton on Sea, A cheap hand-job she once offered me"

[Mike Oxsaw]

Propagandists the truth they bend Trump? The working man's friend? But now there's a chance We all can advance And earn much more money to spend. The coming few months may be strange. Oh no! Run away! Here comes change!

[Helmut Shown]

A man who felt life was a pain And decided to go live in Spain But his dream in the Med Wasn't quite like they said He lives now on the Island of Grain Propagandists the truth they bend Trump? The working man's friend?