New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Saul Bollox]

"The turkey is stuffed in the oven So now my good woman I'm lovin' I just need to look How long it takes to cook cook, Then my cock up your anus I'm shovin'. There was a young man from Malaysia Who suffered from chronic aphasia."

[Saul Bollox]

"The turkey is stuffed in the oven So now my good woman I'm lovin' I just need to look How long it takes to cook cook, Then my cock up your anus I'm shovin'. There was a young man from Malaysia Who suffered from chronic aphasia."

[Saul Bollox]

"The turkey is stuffed in the oven So now my good woman I'm lovin' I just need to look How long it takes to cook cook, Then my cock up your anus I'm shovin'. There was a young man from Malaysia Who suffered from chronic aphasia."

[Mike Oxsaw]

A Palestinian girl from Israel Used to make love wearing just a veil. It had a long fringe To cover her minge That fluttered when she did inhale. Whatever I said last time.

[Saul Bollox]

"In Pontypandy Fireman Sam Made love to an eager ram, His best friend named Pugh, Said why not try a ewe. At least they have a hairy clam. A Palestinian girl from Israel Used to make love wearing just a veil."

[Mike Oxsaw]

In Pontypandy Fireman Sam Made love to an eager ram In time there was born A hose with the horn They dressed up to look like a lamb The turkey is stuffed in the oven So now my good woman I'm lovin'

[Helmut Shown]

There once was a man from Bude In public said something quite crude Singing Eskimo Nell He suddenly fell Uttering oaths and curses quite rude In Pontypandy Fireman Sam Made love to an eager ram

[Saul Bollox]

"I wonder if I really should Indulge in some more Christmas Pud. If too much I ate, I'd put on too much weight Said the dance judge Craig Reville-Horwood. There once was a man from Bude In public said something quite crude"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A young man from The Argentine, Drank too many bottles of wine. It has to be said, It was very good red And not that cheap white crap from Rhine. I wonder if I really should Indulge in some more Christmas Pud."

[Saul Bollox]

"The trains down my way are on strike I've had to dig out me old bike. But some cսnt did steal My fucking front wheel. Now I've got to walk, which I dislike. A young man from The Argentine, Drank too many bottles of wine."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"It felt like a kick in the guts With his hand up her skirt he felt nuts He so wanted a wife, That, armed with a knife, Proceeded to make the right cuts. The trains down my way are on strike I've had to dig out me old bike."

[Helmut Shown]

"A young lady down on her luck Approached the driver of a truck ""Do you want a lift"" She seemed quite miffed ""jump in the back with the muck"" It felt like a kick in the guts With his hand up her skirt he felt nuts"

[Far East Hammer]

"An old bloke of seventy-nine, Saw a prossie he thought was divine But with his wife alongside He wasn't to get to ride So had to make do with a woodbine A young lady down on her luck Approached the driver of a truck"

[Saul Bollox]

*prossie

[Saul Bollox]

"I think I should go see my quack I've got a slight pain in my back, Between you and me, It could be the big C, When you're gone you never come back. An old bloke of seventy-nine, Saw a possie he thought was divine"

[Mike Oxsaw]

A young lad of only fifteen Could not help but piss in a stream A swan came along And pecked at his schlong But soon wandered off for a preen. I think I should go see my quack I've got a slight pain in my back

[HairyHammer]

To show that he was very well built A Scotsman lifted his kilt But with temperatures low There was little to show Which filled him with sadness and guilt. A young lad of only fifteen Could not help but piss in a stream

[Helmut Shown]

"I once thought that life is a doddle, When shagging a lingerie model But the bubble burst After I came first But for winning this race I got sod all To show that he was very well built A Scotsman lifted his kilt"

[Mike Oxsaw]

Spandex Sidney 12:34 Sun Dec 11 'Said prayers for everybody is my guessing' don't not do scan too well dah doo dah dah. Innit.

[Saul Bollox]

"The vicar, whilst giving his blessing, Said prayers for, well, ""all"", is my guessing, For drunks and drug users And serial abusers, And murderers too, if confessing. I once thought that life is a doddle, When shagging a lingerie model"

[Spandex Sidney]

"'Said prayers for, well, ""all"", is my guessing' Mike, what the fuck does that mean??"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A young chinese lady Mai Ling, Was sucking off her boyfriend's thing When, driven by fright, She took a big bite And fuck me! That lad can now sing! The vicar, whilst giving his blessing, Said prayers for, well, ""all"", is my guessing,"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A young chinese lady Mai Ling, Was sucking off her boyfriend's thing When, driven by fright, She took a big bite And fuck me! That lad can now sing! The vicar, whilst giving his blessing, Said prayers for, well, ""all"", is my guessing,"

[Saul Bollox]

"In Amsterdam in the red light zone He sat there stroking his bone, He just couldn't score, With the enticing whore As all his euros he'd blown. A young chinese lady Mai Ling, Was sucking off her boyfriend's thing"

[Helmut Shown]

"He said to his mates with bravado, I'll beat you all at Escalado They laughed at the churl ""Go find a girl With tits and a minge just like Bardot"" In Amsterdam in the red light zone He sat there stroking his bone"