New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Helmut Shown]

"In a brothel in down town Marbella A girl there is really a fella Run your hand up ""her"" thighs You'll have a surprise Like a sausage stroked by Uri Gellar Bob Bradley has taken the blame To lose to West Ham, what shame!"

[joe blob]

"We may have hit Swansea for four But there were still fuckups galore But nine points from tree, Was a big win for me, I can go now with my favourite whore. In a brothel in down town Marbella A girl there is really a fella"

[joe blob]

"We may have hit Swansea for four But there were still fuckups galore But nine points from tree, Was a big win for me, I can go now with my favourite whore. In a brothel in down town Marbella A girl there is really a fella"

[Helmut Shown]

'Twas Christmas day in the Work house. When up spake a filthy old Scouse Understanding the prick Might have well spoke Arabic Or Darth Vader played ably by Dave Prowse We may have hit Swansea for four But there were still fuckups galore

[joe blob]

"""I'll tell you a secret for free,"" Said Santa, to lad on his knee. Santa Claus don't exist, And I'm three parts pissed. So fuck you I'm off for a pee 'Twas Christmas day in the Work house. When up spake a filthy old scouse"

[joe blob]

"""I'll tell you a secret for free,"" Said Santa, to lad on his knee. Santa Claus don't exist, And I'm three parts pissed. So fuck you I'm off for a pee 'Twas Christmas day in the Work house. When up spake a filthy old scouse"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A young girl pulled off a stunt On a tourist on the seafront With the aid of a chair And a short strand of hair She managed to make a horse grunt ""I'll tell you a secret for free,"" Said Santa, to lad on his knee"

[Helmut Shown]

"Quiz inquisitor Michael Miles, Went to see the doc for his piles The resultant pains From low hanging veins Rubbing against his textiles A young girl pulled off a stunt On a tourist on the seafront"

[joe blob]

"I cannot contain my outrage At what I just read on this page! I'm not a big fan Of Lim'ricks that don't scan. My disgust I can not assuage. Quiz inquisitor Michael Miles, Went to see the doc for his piles"

[Saul Bollox]

Re Saul Bollox 3:40 Mon Dec 19 *Her fam'ly too were fucking vile

[Mike Oxsaw]

"While on the subject of chavs, There was graffiti in Tesco's lavs ""In khazis at Lidl"" ""For free you can piddle"" ""But share it you must with some Slavs"" I cannot contain my outrage At what I just read on this page!"

[Saul Bollox]

"She appeared on Jeremy Kyle The miserable cսnt had no smile. She was so fucking big, And as fat as a pig, Her family were fucking vile too. While on the subject of chavs, There was graffiti in Tesco's lavs"

[Helmut Shown]

There once were two window lickers Who went round stealing ladies' knickers They thought it sublime With a gusset full of slime They'll never take tea at the vicar's She appeared on Jeremy Kyle The miserable cսnt had no smile

[Saul Bollox]

*knickers

[Saul Bollox]

"For supper tonight I shall eat, Some steak - it will be quite a treat With a decent red wine It should be really fine, I'll let you know on my next tweet. There once were two window lickers Who went round stealing ladies' kniers"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Vitriol directed at the owners This site's full of cunts and of moaners. On top of this shit Is some stupid git Who doesn't get printers and toners. For supper tonight I shall eat, Some steak - it will be quite a treat"

[Saul Bollox]

"It's time now for fog and for frost, So mind you don't slip or get lost Then there's christmas day, That's OK if your gay, Hoping no one visits, fingers crossed. Vitriol directed at the owners This site's full of cunts and of moaners."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Six points playing absolute shite Do our team have any real fight? I know it's a drag But points in the bag Means upwards we now set our sight. COYI. It's time now for fog and for frost, So mind you don't slip or get lost"

[Helmut Shown]

Double Your Money's Monica Rose Had a massive bogie up her nose Hughie Green dropped a ricket When he offered to pick it Did she really have to take off her clothes? Six points playing absolute shite Do our team have any real fight?

[Saul Bollox]

"The police said ""you're in the cart"" You've been flashing your private part, So your under arrest, Your freedom I divest"". To which he let out a loud fart. Double Your Money's Monica Rose Had a massive bogie up her nose"

[Helmut Shown]

"These verses are now getting silly It must be because it's quite chilly For those in the know Its going to snow But only in parts where it's hilly The police said ""you're in the cart"" You've been flashing your private part"""

[Mike Oxsaw]

"When you say it people start to snigger But black men's dicks are much bigger With no further ado, I present to you: Earl Winston, the human out-rigger. These verses are now getting silly It must be because it's quite chilly"

[Saul Bollox]

"I saw an advert for a job: ""Wanted: Man with a very big knob,"" I had to walk by As I don't qualify, So for comfort I ate a hob-nob. When you say it people start to snigger But black men's dicks are much bigger"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"There was a young man called Cliff Woke up with his winkle stiff For something to do, He rogered his Sue Then rolled up a big, ""fuck-off"" spliff. I saw an advert for a job: ""Wanted: Man with a very big knob,"""

[Helmut Shown]

There was a young man from Malaysia Who suffered from chronic aphasia A cranial contusion Caused great confusion A case for euthanasia? There was a young man called Cliff Woke up with his winkle stiff