New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Helmut Shown]

"Remainers claim Leavers are dim That life in the future is grim But the hard Tory right Put the workers to flight While their mates, the economy skim Health secretary Jeremy Hunt Always wants to confront"

[Mike Oxsaw]

There were many strange noises and squeaks Emanating from her bum cheeks But the strangest sound heard Was that of a turd That seemed to go on for six weeks. Remainers claim Leavers are dim That life in the future is grim

[Helmut Shown]

"'Twas a windy day, she was a tease In a miniskirt with no panties In a move rather deft Exposing her cleft Subjected herself to the breeze There were many strange noises and squeaks Emanating from her bum cheeks"

[Far East Hammer]

"As I walked down the Las Vegas Strip I considered myself really quite hip... People staring with open jaw And then I looked down, saw My knob hanging out of my undone zip! 'twas a windy day, she was a tease In a miniskirt with no panties"

[doomhunk]

"Our board are as tight as they come We all think that's really quite dumb But the posters on WHO all have brains made of poo, but it's still better round here than KUMB. As I walked down the Las Vegas Strip I considered myself really quite hip..."

[Mike Oxsaw]

The old bloke called Jake the Peg Had 2 penises covered with smeg I'm told they did smell But we never could tell For his farts stank of rancid old egg. Our board are as tight as they come We all think that's really quite dumb

[Saul Bollox]

"Yet another home game lapse Like a middle order batting collapse, This will be I fear, Nothing like last year, So it's backs to the wall now chaps. The old bloke called Jake the Peg Had 2 penises covered with smeg"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Yet another home game lapse Like a middle order batting collapse Abject misery, The board's gift to me I'd rather suck dead granny's baps New Level? Your having a laugh! Again, the board give us a shaft"

[Helmut Shown]

"The milkman, whilst driving his float, Discovered a customer's note It came from a gay Saying ""No milk today But come round I'll give you deep throat"" Yet another home game lapse Like a middle order batting collapse"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"He asked his secretary Mabel To shit on his glass coffee table But, she'd had a curry, So - peanuts in slurry Instead of a steaming brown cable. The milkman, whilst driving his float, Discovered a customer's note"

[Saul Bollox]

"The question ""Do bears shit in the wood?"" Has vexed me as much as it could. Between me and you I've fuck all else to do, It's that or play with my manhood. He asked his secretary Mabel To shit on his glass coffee table"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"This year we've all been seeing The result of shit refereeing Are they trying to prove They, too, hate the move? It fucks up their reason for being. The question ""Do bears shit in the wood?"" Has vexed me as much as it could."

[Helmut Shown]

"Next up we've got Manchester City, Will we put on a show that is gritty. Will it be a farce Like the game versus Arse Or a bent ref topping up the kitty This year we've all been seeing The result of shit refereeing"

[Helmut Shown]

"Next up we've got Manchester City, Will we put on a show that is gritty. Will it be a farce Like the game versus Arse Or a bent ref topping up the kitty This year we've all been seeing The result of shit refereeing"

[Saul Bollox]

"Whilst out on the moors for a ramble I snagged my new coat on a bramble When who should I meet, Looking rather effete, Old Steptoe himself Wlifred Bambell. Next up we've got Manchester City, Will we put on a show that is gritty."

[Mike Oxsaw]

While cleaning the latrine trench A squaddie fainted with the stench He crawled out of the pit Stinking of shit And now we all think he is French. Whilst out on the moors for a ramble I snagged my new coat on a bramble

[Saul Bollox]

"Turkey and Christmas pud Don't do the ozone much good, An annual mass of foul methane gas But I like the shits more than I should. While cleaning the latrine trench A squaddie fainted with the stench"

[Helmut Shown]

I think I ate too many nuts There's an ominous sound in my guts On the bog a big splash A big pebble dash And the porcelain covered in smuts Turkey and Christmas pud Don't do the ozone much good

[Mike Oxsaw]

A young fellow from Kampuchea. Suffered projectile diarroea When touching his toes And his arsehole exposed His shit reached the end of the pier I think I ate too many nuts There's an ominous sound in my guts

[les marteaux]

Go ahead and sign the petition After his appalling exhibition* Attention seeking cսnt And let us be blunt.. Should fuck off of his own volition. A young fellow from Kampuchea. Suffered projectile diarroea

[les marteaux]

"It really has got to be seen Mourinho's present for Mike Dean In a brown paper bag He sent him his swag, Delivered by a go-between. A young fellow from Kampuchea. Suffered projectile diarroea"

[Helmut Shown]

It really has got to be seen Mourinho's present for Mike Dean In a brown paper bag A bribe for the slag The corruption is fucking obscene Go ahead and sign the petition After his appalling exhibition* *The Football Association: Sack Mike Dean https://www.change.org/p/the-football-association-sack-mike-dean?utm_source=embedded_petition_view

[Gank]

"Should be 'gift', not 'present' in order for it to scan."

[Far East Hammer]

There once was a young girl called Jenny Who needed to go spend a penny Caught short in a field With nothing to shield She had an audience of many It really has got to be seen Mourinho's present for Mike Dean

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A rambler went into a stable, He squatted and laid a big cable He cleaned up with straw Which made his arse sore No sex for a week was he able. There once was a young girl called Jenny Who needed to go spend a penny"