New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[HairyHammer]

While sharing a bath with a tart He did something not very smart An erection he got From his enormous fat cock And tore her brown stinker apart She screamed I want some Amor But her Husband was a D I Y bore

[Mike Oxsaw]

"She looked like an English rose But was a tester for battery dil-dos We knew her as ""Di"", But that's by-and-by With Duracell, anything goes. While sharing a bath with a tart, He did something not very smart"

[Saul Bollox]

"The spinster who lives down the lane Is up to her old tricks again, For fans of the spurs She will always drop hers She's a fucking disgrace it's plain. While sharing a bath with a tart, He did something not very smart"

[Helmut Shown]

The spinster who lives down the lane Is up to her old tricks again As you walk through She throws lumps of poo She feels you're invading her domain She looked like an English rose But was a tester for battery dil-dos

[Mike Oxsaw]

"When into the bath one goes Bubbles come up under your nose Because you ate curry Air leaves in a hurry. It's what they call science, I suppose. The spinster who lives down the lane Is up to her old tricks again"

[Saul Bollox]

"In a lift about to blow off He tried to disguise it with a cough And out he did wrench A putrescent stench, Not what one expects from a toff. When into the bath one goes Bubbles come up under your nose"

[Helmut Shown]

The squire in his old stately home Did place in his garden a gnome The webcam inside Was to catch the snide With irritable bowel syndrome In a lift about to blow off He tried to disguise it with a cough

[Mike Oxsaw]

"There was a man from Walham Green, Wrote a poem that was quite obscene. Did swear & cuss, Create a fuss The vilest thing that's ever been The squire in his old stately home Did place in his garden a gnome"

[Saul Bollox]

"He asked his wife for some head To liven up things in their bed. ""I'll give it a try, but come in my eye, To swallow is something I dread. There was a man from Walham Green, Wrote a poem that was quite obscene."

[Helmut Shown]

A small man from Barking rd Had a boat like an ugly toad More ugly than The Elephant Man Over which wild horses had rode He asked his wife for some head To liven up things in their bed

[HairyHammer]

At a nudist camp in south of France Each girl he passed he had a glance But every single one Laughed at his tiny gun A problem he just couldn't enhance. A small man from Barking rd Had a boat like an ugly toad

[Saul Bollox]

"At a pageant a girl from Devises Would be lucky to win any prizes Looked just like a fellow But showing camel toe, Which was stained due to her exercises. At a nudist camp in South of France Each girl he passed he had a glance"

[Saul Bollox]

"At a pageant a girl from Devises Would be lucky to win any prizes Looked just like a fellow But showing camel toe, Which was stained due to her exercises. At a nudist camp in South of France Each girl he passed he had a glance"

[Helmut Shown]

An arse said a tramp with a sniff Can be lethal or just cause a tiff Be it a puff in the gusset Or pants full of russet Causing a very foul whiff At a pageant a girl from Devises Would be lucky to win any prizes

[HairyHammer]

It appeared that the Oscar was won In the end came away with none Be it Musical Ice cream Or a black kids sweet dream Both films need a throat and a gun. An arse said a tramp with a sniff Can be lethal or just cause a tiff

[Helmut Shown]

"I had a bad trip on a plane That airline, I won't use again And added to this Had to pay for a piss Next time I'll go on the train It appeared that the Oscar was won In the end came away with none"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Old Fanny and Johny Craddock Were cooking a piece of haddock. ""I've smelt this before"" ""You crusty old whore,"" ""And your minge looks just like our old paddock"" I had a bad trip on a plane That airline, I won't use again"

[Saul Bollox]

"Tonight I am out on the pull, My glass, it is always half full... A shower will be nice With a splash of Old Spice Then off for a pint at The Bull. Old Fanny and Johny Craddock Were cooking a piece of haddock."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"""The Black Pig you'll never take"", Shouted Pugwash to Cutthroat Jake But Owen the Steam Will give you ice cream If movements like Dougal you make. Tonight I am out on the pull, My glass, it is always half full..."

[Saul Bollox]

"There was a young man from Shoreditch Woke up with a very bad itch, Of course it's no shock When you let your cock Be licked by a Labrador bitch. ""The Black Pig you'll never take"", Shouted Pugwash to Cutthroat Jake"

[Helmut Shown]

Zazas just scored a Real cracker Yet while with us he was quite a slacker Ain't it the way When for West Ham you play You look nothing like an attacker There was a young man from Shoreditch Woke up with a very bad itch

[kenyahammer]

A Stamford Hill cabbie named Solly Always boasted he had lots of lolly. So when it started to rain His mates found it insane That Solly's lolly wasnt enough for a brolly Zazas just scored a Real cracker Yet while with us he was quite a slacker

[kenyahammer]

A Stamford Hill cabbie named Solly Always boasted he had lots of lolly. So when it started to rain His mates found it insane That Solly's lolly wasnt enough for a brolly Zazas just scored a Real cracker Yet while with us he was quite a slacker

[Saul Bollox]

"I think I might buy a new bike But not sure which type I would like Looking through ads at random I'd quite like a tandem, But I may go and get a new trike. A Stamford Hill cabbie named Solly Always boasted he had lots of lolly."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"I went in a place round the corner, A new massage parlour and sauna The masseur was old And the building quite cold My preference is younger and warmer. I think I might buy a new bike But not sure which type I would like"