New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Helmut Shown]

FUCKING PREDICTIVE TEXT I think it is time to depart I've just dropped a really big fart. Post haste to the bog I need to drop a log Oh no! Not a fart but a SHART On a flight to the Costa Blanca Sat a miserable merchant banker

[Helmut Shown]

I think it is time to depart I've just dropped a really big fart. Post haste to the bog I need to drop a log Oh no! Not a fart but a start On a flight to the Costa Blanca Sat a miserable merchant banker

[Mike Oxsaw]

The Arse are going ng through hell Will the Imps turn them over as well The rub of the green Would be really obscene I want this a LOT! You can tell. I think it is time to depart I've just dropped a really big fart.

[Helmut Shown]

I've ordered myself a new toy I'm not saying what - I'm quite coy I put in some U2s Three speeds you can choose Its made of a shiny alloy The Arse are going ng through hell Will the Imps turn them over as well

[Mike Oxsaw]

"There once were two dirty old vicars, Went around stealing women's knickers. Out in the fresh air And they didn't care. At least they were not window lickers. I've ordered myself a new toy I'm not saying what - I'm quite coy"

[les marteaux]

"Poseurs on high powered bikes I'd have them impaled on spikes, But these fucking whores Driving huge four by fours, Is one of my biggest dislikes. There once were two dirty old vicars, Went around stealing women's knickers."

[Helmut Shown]

A young idiot driver from Tooting At all the young ladies was hooting He's under arrest For lifting his vest Cunts like that want shooting Poseurs on high powered bikes I'd have them impaled on spikes

[les marteaux]

"Small business owners are fucked As the Tory's need money to suck These Etonian bums, Just look after their chums. You politician's a schmuck. A young idiot driver from Tooting At all the young ladies was hooting"

[HairyHammer]

Whilst playing about on the hill A young girl became really ill Shouting mum I feel sick So her mum approached quick But alas her handbag she did fill. Small business owners are fucked As the Tory's need money to suck

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Me, I have the impression, ITV Has A Lampard obsession It's really obscene, Demanding wide screen A passionate pie-eating lesson. Whilst playing about on the hill, A young girl became really ill"

[Helmut Shown]

"Your Chelsea fan, on the whole's a twat There is just no argument about that ""In Antonio we trust"" Fills all with disgust The flag manufactured by a prat Me, I have the impression, ITV Has A Lampard obsession"

[Saul Bollox]

"We were beaten by the rent boy flids No comfort for the north London yids The PL as we know, Has been bought by the dough Of Russian crook front wheel skids. Your Chelsea fan, on the whole's a twat There is just no argument about that"

[Helmut Shown]

Whilst watching some daytime TV The scrounger had some urge to pee With a very broad smile Pissed on Jeremy Kyle Right there for all to see We were beaten by the rent boy flids No comfort for the north London yids

[Mike Oxsaw]

"An artist made his model blush, When using his cock for a brush. But, employing her muff To clean off the fluff Left him with a bad case of thrush. Whilst watching some daytime TV The scrounger had some urge to pee"

[Saul Bollox]

"There once was a West End brass Liked to stick fruit up her arse, With bananas and pears There were not many cares, But pineapples, well it was a farce. An artist made his model blush, When using his cock for a brush."

[Helmut Shown]

There was a young girl called Margot In a brothel in Santiago It took little egging For her to do pegging And it made her quite a lot of dough There once was a West End brass Liked to stick fruit up her arse

[Saul Bollox]

"A man in a pub with his dog Thought sod this, ill go for a jog, After just a few feet, He was back in his seat Thinking ""Fuck it, I prefer on the grog."" There was a young girl called Margot In a brothel in Santiago"

[HairyHammer]

"On a first date she tried to impress By only wearing a see-through dress But her date a shy man Was not a big fan Ran away in disgust and distress A man in a pub with his dog Thought sod this, ill go for a jog"

[Far East Hammer]

A young lady from Delaware Dyed a bright green her pubic hair. It did look a mess And she did confess 'Twas only done for a dare On a first date she tried to impress By only wearing a see-through dress

[Saul Bollox]

"For breakfast, I think some fried bread With bacon & eggs - then I'm fed, Then it's off to work, With a fat fucking berk Whom I dream of kicking in the head. A young lady from Delaware Dyed a bright green her pubic hair."

[Saul Bollox]

"For breakfast, I think some fried bread With bacon & eggs - then I'm fed, Then it's off to work, With a fat fucking berk Whom I dream of kicking in the head. A young lady from Delaware Dyed a bright green her pubic hair."

[Helmut Shown]

"There once was a man from Barbuda Whose thoughts got ruder and ruder His girlfriend Grace He made piss in his face And the language just couldn't be cruder For breakfast, I think some fried bread With bacon & eggs - then I'm fed"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"An old fisherman from Nantucket, Used to defecate in a bucket. But for urinal bliss In a mug he would piss He bought that in Spain for a ducat. For breakfast, I think some fried bread With bacon & eggs - then I'm fed"

[,]

"An old fisherman from Nantucket Used to defecate into a bucket His tactic, profound, With no one around Was into the street he would chuck it. There once was a man from Barbuda Whose thoughts got ruder and ruder"

[Saul Bollox]

"A slapper from down near Bow Locks Had a penchant for very large cocks Her favourite, Leroy, A very big boy Used to tuck it in one of his socks. An old fisherman from Nantucket, Used to defaecate in a bucket."