New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[HairyHammer]

"I've just got out a hot bath And now i think, just for a laugh I'll run to the pub As naked as a shrub And have me a cheeky half. With a tweezer he pulled out a hair From his balls and down rolled a tear"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"I sat happy for a very short while Till an itch in my arse felt a trial T'manage the pain I sang a refrain... It worked so I gave a big smile. I've just got out a hot bath And now I think, just for a laugh"

[HairyHammer]

"Injuries, poor form and selection Have us going the wrong direction But what is far worse Is a stadium cursed It's so bad I cant get an erection. I sat happy for a very short while Till an itch in my arse felt a trial"

[HairyHammer]

"Injuries, poor form and selection Have us going the wrong direction But what is far worse Is a stadium cursed It's so bad I cant get an erection. I sat happy for a very short while Till an itch in my arse felt a trial"

[Helmut Shown]

"A lady of dodgy repute Worked the docks as a prostitute Her penchant for bumming Brought the lascars coming To shove it up her willing shit chute Injuries, poor form and selection Have us going the wrong direction"

[Saul Bollox]

"The refs to the yids are benign Look at Alli the cheating swine, The diving in the box, I hope he dies of pox, Or something equally malign. A lady of dodgy repute Worked the docks as a prostitute"

[Helmut Shown]

The Arthurian knight Sir Janus Had a hard turd stuck in his anus But with a twist and a jerk Applied with a dirk When he shat it was really quite heinous The refs to the yids are benign Look at Alli the cheating swine

[Saul Bollox]

"As he bent down to tie his boot lace His girlfriend copped a fart in her face, The malodourous stench Caused his stomache to wrench. In fact 'twas a fucking disgrace. The Arthurian knight Sir Janus Had a hard turd stuck in his anus"

[Helmut Shown]

"An indian man from Southall, Was standing at a urine stall No open flood gate an enlarged prostate The trickle went down to fuck all As he bent down to tie his boot lace His girlfriend copped a fart in her face"

[Saul Bollox]

"The way that we play makes no sense What has become of our defence? The millions we pay, Has been frittered away, There's none worth more than a few pence, An indian man from Southall, Was standing at a urine stall."

[Helmut Shown]

"On your typical politics thread, Nothing of value's ever said Their views worth fuck all On a thread for football Most of the good posters have fled The way that we play makes no sense What has become of our defence?"

[les marteaux]

"He got off a train at the Bank Then stood at the taxi rank, No luck on the ramp As he looked like a tramp, In fact from a distance he stank. On your typical politics thread, Nothing of value's ever said"

[Helmut Shown]

"A hooker was down on her luck, So got a job driving a truck When her sweaty old meat Became suctioned to the seat They just couldn't get her unstuck He got off a train at the Bank Then stood at the taxi rank"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"An Etonian once asked his chum If he'd bend while he shafted his bum. But, unlike at Harrow, Where members are narrow, This hurt and it left his cheeks numb. A hooker was down on her luck, So got a job driving a truck"

[les marteaux]

"Leicester I'm sure will attack Down the right against our left back, But fuck the football, Of which I know fuck all Let's have rhymes about tits, bums and crack. An Etonian once asked his chum If he'd bend while he shafted his bum."

[Helmut Shown]

He dressed up in purple and green. It was quite a sight to be seen But our gaily dressed chum Is after your bum And you don't really know where he's been Leicester I'm sure will attack Down the right against our left back

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A bloke posts each day on this site Saying West Ham's owners are shite But we all know his goal, Is to get of the dole. One day he might get his life right. He dressed up in purple and green. It was quite a sight to be seen,"

[les marteaux]

"A young man who came from Kolkata Went for a night on the batter But was drunk for a week Then buggered a Sikh, Realising he was a brown hatter. A bloke posts each day on this site Saying West Ham's owners are shite"

[Helmut Shown]

A young man from the streets of Bombay Wondered what it is like to be gay. A rubber ring he's needing His bottom is bleeding He now knows he isn't that way A young man who came from Kolkata Went for a night on the batter

[Saul Bollox]

"A traveller out on the road Did not like the Highway Code He said: ""This is shite."" So he drove on the right, The Cemetery's now his abode. A young man from the streets of Bombay Wondered what it is like to be gay."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A chinaman called Oo Flung Dung, Had a nasty taste on his tongue. One pence to a pound He'd eaten some hound Which hadn't been properly hung A traveller out on the road Did not like the Highway Code"

[Saul Bollox]

"A freak gave blow jobs quite sloppy Whilst dressed up as Mr Blobby When his neighbour called Marge, Asked how much does he charge He said nothing, because it's my hobby. A chinaman called Oo Flung Dung, Had a nasty taste on his tongue."

[Far East Hammer]

Shitting can be quite a lot of fun When you wash your arse with a bum gun. It can give a thrill But can also chill If the water's too cold it can stun A freak gave blow jobs quite sloppy Whilst dressed up as Mr Blobby

[Saul Bollox]

On a flight to the Costa Blanca Sat a miserable merchant banker; Because some fucking klutz Had gone and dropped his guts The stench of which could not be ranker. Shitting can be quite a lot of fun When you wash your arse with a bum gun.

[Saul Bollox]

On a flight to the Costa Blanca Sat a miserable merchant banker; Because some fucking klutz Had gone and dropped his guts The stench of which could not be ranker. Shitting can be quite a lot of fun When you wash your arse with a bum gun.