New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Saul Bollox]

"The vicar was looking all forlorn He'd been caught watching online porn, But what was much worse, And made his missus curse It was gay men and he had the horn. A young man from near Turnpike Lane Used his arsehole for monet'ry gain"

[Saul Bollox]

"The vicar was looking all forlorn He'd been caught watching online porn, But what was much worse, And made his missus curse It was gay men and he had the horn. A young man from near Turnpike Lane Used his arsehole for monet'ry gain"

[Far East Hammer]

"She slipped down her lacy drawers Then got down on the mat on all fours Panting ""come on Boris"" ""I'm sure you'll enjoy this"" But he told May he didn't want sores The vicar was looking all forlorn He'd been caught watching online porn"

[Helmut Shown]

"A Limericist called McLean, Was writing a poem obscene His readers were finding Much effing and blinding He was told by the mods ""keep it clean"" She slipped down her lacy drawers Then got down on the mat on all fours"

[Saul Bollox]

"So, now, with a sudden election, We all have to make our selection A soft Brexit's her mission And there's no opposition. And Corbyn should be on a section. A Limericist called McLean, Was writing a poem obscene"

[Saul Bollox]

"So, now, with a sudden election, We all have to make our selection A soft Brexit's her mission And there's no opposition. And Corbyn should be on a section. A Limericist called McLean, Was writing a poem obscene"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"I'm thinking of buying a car, Maybe a brand new Jaguar Sod that foreign muck Just get an old truck You'll find it will take you as far. So, now, with a sudden election, We all have to make our selection"

[Saul Bollox]

"'Arry has gone to the Brum They expect bankruptcy to come, Will the board cope, With the brown envelope, And the tax dodging scams of this bum. I'm thinking of buying a car, Maybe a brand new Jaguar"

[Helmut Shown]

A keeper in The London Zoo Got covered with Elephant's poo. The methane ignited When his cigar was lighted And the big pile of shit blew through 'Arry has gone to the Brum They expect bankruptcy to come

[Saul Bollox]

"I was watching beach volleyball When one of the girls had a fall Her bikini was rent Exposing her vent, As she lay in a parted legs sprawl. A keeper in The London Zoo Got covered with Elephant's poo."

[Helmut Shown]

"A young lady played golf with me, And we ""holed out"" at the seventh tee In a nearby sandtrap She decided to crap Put the kybosh on the buggery I was watching beach volleyball When one of the girls had a fall"

[Saul Bollox]

"On a holiday out in Majorca He pulled a girl, a real porker, She was extremely fat, With a big hairy prat, But the fuck that they had was a corker. A young lady played golf with me, And we ""holed out"" at the seventh tee"

[Helmut Shown]

"There once was a toff called Mountbatten Picked up a rent boy in Manhatten For not the first time He's committed this crime He had more rings than Saturn On a holiday out in Majorca He pulled a girl, a real porker"

[Saul Bollox]

"A parson who cared for the needy, Had one in his flock who was greedy Could not give a fuck Where he made his next buck, And into activities seedy. There once was a toff called Mountbatten Picked up a rent boy in Manhatten"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A suicide bomber called Ali, Once targeted Alley Pally But, out he was caught When his wiring did short And now he's all over the valley. A parson who cared for the needy, Had one in his flock who was greedy"

[les marteaux]

"The vicar was writing a letter On how to make choir-boys sing better, Aggressive and stern, The poor kids did not learn And some of the pants became wetter. A suicide bomber called Ali, Once targeted Alley Pally"

[Mike Oxsaw]

A man from Weston Super Mare Had skid marks in his underwear He wore them with pride And though on the inside Let everyone know they were there. The vicar was writing a letter On how to make choir-boys sing better

[Saul Bollox]

"A victory snatched once again Picking Randolph's fucking insane With him in the goal, We'll remain in a hole, And points disappear down the drain A man from Weston Super Mare Had skid marks in his underwear"

[Helmut Shown]

If we lose we'll be safe? not a bit Our team will be back in the shit Back in the crapper Randolph's a flapper As a goalkeeper he ain't fit A victory snatched once again Picking Randolph's insane

[Helmut Shown]

If we lose we'll be safe? not a bit Our team will be back in the shit Back in the crapper Randolph's a flapper As a goalkeeper he ain't fit A victory snatched once again Picking Randolph's insane

[Saul Bollox]

A farmer in love with his pig That he made up with lipstick and wig In a tender embrace He started sucking face While tickling her arse with a twig. If we lose we'll be safe? not a bit Our team will be back in the shit

[Saul Bollox]

A farmer in love with his pig That he made up with lipstick and wig In a tender embrace He started sucking face While tickling her arse with a twig. If we lose we'll be safe? not a bit Our team will be back in the shit

[Saul Bollox]

A farmer in love with his pig That he made up with lipstick and wig In a tender embrace He started sucking face While tickling her arse with a twig. If we lose we'll be safe? not a bit Our team will be back in the shit

[HairyHammer]

There was a young man known as Hugh Spent the day trainspotting at Crewe His girlfriend had had enough Of his mad choo choo love That she laced his packed lunch with some poo. A farmer in love with his pig That he made up with lipstick and wig

[Saul Bollox]

"Whilst playing a game of ""kiss-chase"", The young dyke just whipped out her mace To spray on a Jock Who'd taken out his cock, And unloaded knob snot on her face. There was a young man known as Hugh Spent the day trainspotting at Crewe"