New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Saul Bollox]

"This whole new West Ham is a joke We were sold a pig in a poke, Owners don't give a toss Players a dead loss, It was more fun when we were broke. This season I just will not miss, Other teams are taking the piss"

[easthambull]

makes us laugh at them all their badge is a cock on a ball Whose fans are two bob a despicable mob With names like Jacob and Saul This whole new West Ham is a joke We were sold a pig in a poke

[SilverSurfer]

"In a brothel near Stratford Broadway. They will do what you want if you pay. But, I didn't know it was gay when I asked for it all anyway"

[SilverSurfer]

In a brothel near Stratford Broadway. They will do what you want if you pay. I didn't know it was gay when I asked for it all anyway makes us laugh at them all their badge is a cock on a ball

[Saul Bollox]

These so called good transport links On a Sunday the service stinks The next Sunday show. I don't think I'll go I'll stay home and play tiddly-winks. In a brothel near Stratford Broadway. They will do what you want if you pay.

[Helmut Shown]

"I know we were no fucking good, But their third goal should not have stood A substantial fee Buys a bent referee More thieving than Robin Hood These so called good transport links On a Sunday the service stinks"

[Helmut Shown]

"I know we were no fucking good, But their third goal should not have stood A substantial fee Buys a bent referee More thieving than Robin Hood These so called good transport links On a Sunday the service stinks"

[Saul Bollox]

"The season now grinds to a halt What players have been without fault? Yesterday, no lying Most cunts were not trying, These shitbags are not worth their salt. I know we were no fucking good, But their third goal should not have stood"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"There once was a man from Gosham, Who took out his b*llocks to wash ÔøΩem, But he left on his dick Knob-cheese layers thick In a ploy to get young girls to nosh 'em The season now grinds to a halt What players have been without fault?"

[les marteaux]

"There once was a vicar from Bude, Got into a terrible mood, He was fit to bust As he effed and he cussed, His manner ungodly and crude. There once was a man from Gosham, Who took out his b*llocks to wash ’em,"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Next up we are playing the scouse Each fan to a man is a louse. I'm not highly thrilled That fans who have killed Have got the free run of our house. There once was a vicar from Bude, Got into a terrible mood,"

[les marteaux]

"The wind, it has died down at last The litter was swirling so fast, The streets are a mess And I must confess I looked upon the scene aghast. Next up we are playing the scouse Each fan to a man is a louse."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"There was an old lady from Fife Who shaved off her pubes with a knife Her husband, much bolder Trimmed his tea-towel holder, In a move done to honour his wife. The wind, it has died down at last The litter was swirling so fast"

[les marteaux]

"There was a young man called Antonio Some journos said that he wants to go, But was in the act, Of signing a contact Those papers print bollocks, you know. There was an old lady from Fife Who shaved off her pubes with a knife"

[Lily Hammer]

"Now. Don't give me none of your flannel. Those people, just over the channel Will flex their muscles At meetings in brussels Now the British have left the panel. There was a young man called Antonio Some journos said that he wants to go"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"There once was a chav from Kent Who was thick and scruffy and bent. With fuck all to do He just necks Special Brew Until his week's Giro is spent Now. Don't give me none of your flannel. Those people, just over the channel..."

[les marteaux]

"So legalise drugs, some might say To keep nasty dealers away, Prisons are replete With users off the street, Be better to gas them I'd say. There once was a chav from Kent Who was thick and scruffy and bent.."

[easthambull]

"Dr Who took her in the P'lice box. And she gave him a dose of the pox. So Syphilis struck From one lousy fuck And pus oozed from his cock to his socks So legalise drugs, some might say To keep nasty dealers away"

[les marteaux]

"A Spurs fan in his Mimi Moke Procured an old brass for a poke Her reply was not nice When he haggled the price ""Fuck off"" were the words that she spoke. Dr Who took her in the P'lice box. And she gave him a dose of the pox."

[easthambull]

A street walker from round Kings Cross Charged reasonable rates for a toss. 'Twas more than fair In old Argyle Square But double for Jonathan Ross A Spurs fan in his Mimi Moke Procured an old brass for a poke

[Saul Bollox]

"A Chelsea fan creamed in his pants Whilst yelling out arrogant rants, A man unrefined, Shouting comments unkind, He's an ex Manure fan from Hants. A street walker from round Kings Cross Charged reasonable rates for a toss."

[Far East Hammer]

"A spurs fan has had to confess, That last friday caused him distress Got paranoid mania He still can't face lasagne And now his whole life's a right mess A Chelsea fan creamed in his pants Whilst yelling out arrogant rants"

[Saul Bollox]

"I think I'll have eggs for my tea, An omelette with two - maybe three. I will add some marge And top it with fromage, And wash down with a glass of Chablis. A spurs fan has had to confess, That last friday caused him distress"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Is Bilic off in the summer? Away in his second hand Hummer We cannot pretend, If the owners don't spent He'll walk, and we'll say ""What a bummer!"" I think I'll have eggs for my tea, An omelette with two - maybe three."

[easthambull]

London Stadium the fifth of May. For us Hammers a wonderful day So Mazel tov You yids can fuck off As we win in the old West Ham way Is Bilic off in the summer? Away in his second hand Hummer