New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Saul Bollox]

"So BFS has gone from the Pa!ace, What next another poison chalice? Or to be with his wife For the rest of his life, Then he will need loads of Cialis. A hapless young man from Wood Green, Got stuck in a wanking machine."

[Helmut Shown]

"José Mourinho's a dick The way his teams play makes me sick I remember his cuss When Fat Sam parked the bus The special one? No, just a prick So BFS has gone from the Pa!ace, What next another poison chalice?"

[Scarby]

A man worried about his son Who spent hours using the bum-gun No other perversion Provided diversion From aquatically based arsehole fun José Mourinho's a dick The way his teams play makes me sick

[Saul Bollox]

"This season, now done and now dusted. We didn't just quite cut the mustard, Defensively poor, We just could not score, And a manager looking quite flustered. A man worried about his son Who spent hours using the bum-gun"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"An MP threatened with the whip Instantly started to unzip So, when asked to divide, The greasy fat snide Turned tail and abandoned his ship. This season, now done and now dusted. We didn't just quite cut the mustard"

[Far East Hammer]

"There once was a young Pakistani, Who liked bacon slices in his sarnie He was well to heel Thought it no big deal He was Christian from Karachi An MP threatened with the whip Instantly started to unzip"

[joe blob]

"While out on the pull for a bird The young lad did something absurd He went in the bog To choke out a log Then made her a gift of his turd. There once was a young Pakistani, Who liked bacon slices in his sarnie"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Millwall just playing hoofball , I hope that they end with fuck all I'll make such a fuss If they win more than us May even give TalkSport a call While out on the pull for a bird The young lad did something absurd"

[Helmut Shown]

"A teacher from North Carolina, Had sex with a pupil, a minor, Premature ejaculation Ended expectation Just a mess in her panty liner Millwall just playing hoofball , I hope that they end with fuck all"

[joe blob]

"An old girl bought a Kodi box As she liked viewing young men's cocks She performed onanism, By rubbing her schism Not risking her getting the pox. A teacher from North Carolina, Had sex with he pupil a minor,"

[joe blob]

"An old girl bought a Kodi box As she liked viewing young men's cocks She performed onanism, By rubbing her schism Not risking her getting the pox. A teacher from North Carolina, Had sex with he pupil a minor,"

[Helmut Shown]

"There was a young man called Maurice, Who saved up his dosh for a Doris For the money accrued She just stripped nude And he ended up flogging his 'Orace An old girl bought a Kodi box As she liked viewing young men's cocks"

[joe blob]

"""The pigs that are running our club Quite frankly are not worth a rub,"" Said a surly old soak To a similar bloke, When pissed out of their heads down the pub. There was a young man called Maurice, Who saved up his dosh for a Doris"

[easthambull]

"An ordn'ry bloke witnessed a crime But said ""I just don't have the time.. I'm really quite late And Tinder won't wait So that is my reason and rhyme"" The pigs that are running our club Quite frankly are not worth a rub"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"One wonders what the owners will do As they meet for the annual review Great stories are told Of the dildos they've sold And dumping the old for the new An ordn'ry bloke witnessed a crime But said ""I just don't have the time..."""

[Helmut Shown]

"A bloke wanking by the name Matt, Was catching his drips in his hat All could see As he sat by a tree That his bellend got bitten by a gnat One wonders what the owners will do As they meet for the annual review"

[Saul Bollox]

"An old queen named Aloyicius Had foibles construed as quite vicious He encountered great joy. When he bummed a rent boy' Licked his anus and said ""That's delicious."" A bloke wanking by the name Matt, Was catching his drips in his hat"

[easthambull]

"My woman last night seemed quite bitter, When I asked to try it up her shitter. My knob, flecked with cheese Slopped in there, with ease Next time I will bum-fuck a critter An old queen named Alouicios Had foibles construed as quite vicious"

[les marteaux]

"To give up tobacco and vape. The patches or a self-help tape? To give up baccy Is easy, you'll see, But wanking is hard to escape. My woman last night seemed quite bitter, When I asked to try it up her shitter."

[easthambull]

As he knelt at the altar at mass There was a definite whiff of gas That leaked from the priest A predatory beast Who had once deflowered an ass To give up tobacco and vape. The patches or a self-help tape?

[Helmut Shown]

"A striker is needed tout de suite At a bargain from Goa or Crete? Or a skinny Somali Or a kid come from Mali Let's face it, there's not much to beat As he knelt at the altar at mass There was a definite whiff of gas"

[Helmut Shown]

There was a young Tom called Vicky Was gently stroking his dicky Ten pound in the bank He'd paid for a wank Time for tea and a bickie As he knelt at the altar at mass There was a definite whiff of gas

[easthambull]

There was a young Tom called Vicky Was gently stroking his dicky It wouldn't get hard despite using lard Next time he won't be quite so picky A striker is needed tout de suite At a bargain from Goa or Crete?

[joe blob]

"A Kenyan once went for a run With a worm hanging out of his bum, Eighteen inches long, Emitting a pong, It also had splashes of cum. There was a young Tom called Vicky Was gently stroking his dicky"

[easthambull]

"This season I just will not miss, Other teams are taking the piss I will not renew For that pile of poo My arse, the owners can kiss. A Kenyan once went for a run With a worm hanging out of his bum"