New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Mike Oxsaw]

There was a young lady called Chloe Who had a pet rabbit called Snowy She once had a dog Two cats and a frog About her? 'fraid that's all we knowy. I once had a pint of real ale The hue of a rusty old nail

[Saul Bollox]

"I'm giving this poor tree a hug,"" Said celebrity muncher of rug, Her appearance, a joke She was dressed like a bloke With no bra and a face like a pug. There was a young lady called Chloe Who had a pet rabbit called Snowy"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"An undertaker Mr. Goffin Had his way with a stiff in a coffin The dearly departed Unfortunately farted A follow through now in the off'in ""I'm giving this poor tree a hug,"" Said celebrity muncher of rug,"

[Saul Bollox]

"There was a young girl who was sick As she tried to deep throat a large dick Her gagging reflex, Just ruined the sex, Her vomit was stinking and thick. An undertaker Mr. Goffin Had his way with a stiff in a coffin"

[Helmut Shown]

A man from the Canary Isles Who suffered from pendulous piles The pain won't subside With ointment applied So he sat bare bummed on the tiles There was a young girl who was sick As she tried to deep throat a large dick

[Saul Bollox]

"Sarah Miles, I've heard people say Drinks her own piss every day But a Scotsman called Ollie Who ate his own tolly, Was put on a section, no delay. A man from the Canary Isles Who suffered from pendulous piles"

[Helmut Shown]

"I was told by the geezer next door. These summer sports are just a bore Some may try jogging Or others go dogging Watching someone give his girlfriend what for Sarah Miles, I've heard people say Drinks her own piss every day"

[joe blob]

"Voting for Jeremy Hunt Is like voting for National Front, But this slippery eel Still has his appeal To your typical WHO right wing cսnt. I was told by the geezer next door. These summer sports are just a bore"

[Helmut Shown]

Last night...I came off the fence It cost me about twenty pence With The Mail in my bag It said vote for the hag So voting Labour made common sense Voting for Jeremy Hunt Is like voting for National Front

[Mike Oxsaw]

Nicola Sturgeon Oh what a dish! Named after and smells like a fish. But it's not all her fault With keys to the vault She'll deliver all sweaties could wish Last night...I came off the fence It cost me about twenty pence

[joe blob]

"There was a young man from Vancouver Was caught with his cock in the Hoover, He turned a bright red, and to his Mum said ""I 'm on a course of penis improver."" Nicola Sturgeon Oh what a dish! Named after and smells like a fish."

[Helmut Shown]

"There was an old woman from Glasgow Who just wouldn't let the Ind Referendum go She'd moan and she'd gurn Shout ""Remember Bannockburn"" Bending over her arse she would show There was a young man from Vancouver Was caught with his cock in the Hoover"

[JonWHUFC]

There was a young man from Ryde. Was having a bit on the side. He bent her over the bin Slipped and fell in He hadn't realized her chuff was that wide There was an old woman from Glasgow Who just wouldn't let the Ind Referendum go

[joe blob]

"The first page now has a new thread But don't let it fuck up your head,, It's about politics, Appeals to the site's pricks, So fuck that I'm going to bed. There was a young man from Ryde. Was having a bit on the side."

[joe blob]

"The first page now has a new thread But don't let it fuck up your head,, It's about politics, Appeals to the site's pricks, So fuck that I'm going to bed. There was a young man from Ryde. Was having a bit on the side."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A Russian man from Volgograd, In the West End picked up a lad. For twenty five roubles The chap lost his scruples And did a few things that were bad The first page now has a new thread But don't let it fuck up your head"

[Saul Bollox]

"Having pissed himself in the street His condition he tried to secrete His efforts did not match, The size of the patch, Which went right down his leg to his feet. A Russian man from Volgograd, In the West End picked up a lad."

[Helmut Shown]

I tripped on the rug by the door And ended up flat on the floor My lack of composure Caused indecent exposure Trousers ripped and cock to the fore Having pissed himself in the street His condition he tried to secrete

[Mike Oxsaw]

"While climbing a tree for a plum. A branch got stuck right up his bum, If you fancy some fruit Don't risk your poop chute, Go over and just ask your mum. I tripped on the rug by the door And ended up flat on the floor"

[Saul Bollox]

"I've run out of milk for my tea I like a few cuppas, you see, The tea I have got, Must be made in a pot, And has to be perfect for me. While climbing a tree for a plum. A branch got stuck right up his bum,"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"He spent three hours in a bar The drove off in his Audi car The silly old sod Ran into some plod, And really, didn't get far. I've run out of milk for my tea I like a few cuppas, you see"

[Helmut Shown]

My Great Aunt's visit just started When my dog just went and farted With a hanky at her nose She packed up her clothes And off on the train she departed He spent three hours in a bar The drove off in his Audi car

[Far East Hammer]

There once was a women called Claire Whose pet was a bi-polar bear. It caused frustration And consternation She'd only bought it for a dare My Great Aunt's visit just started When my dog just went and farted

[Saul Bollox]

"When dressed up he called himself Mary But most people called him a fairy, When in the Azores Exposed his frilly drawers And his bollocks hung out (Very hairy). There once was a women called Claire Whose pet was a bi-polar bear."

[Helmut Shown]

"A hapless young man from Wood Green, Got stuck in a wanking machine All the punters were gone When he went to sell it on Cause they knew where the fucking thing'd been When dressed up he called himself Mary But most people called him a fairy"